When nine full tedious winters paft,

That utmost wifh is crown'd at laft:

But the rich prize no sooner

got,

Again he quarrels with his lot:

"These fellowships are pretty things,

"We live indeed like petty kings:
"But who can bear to wafte his whole age
"Amid the dullness of a college,

"Debarr'd the common joys of life,

"And that prime blifs — a

a loving wife!

"O! what's a table richly spread

"Without a woman at its head!

"Would some fnug benefice but fall,

"Ye feafts, ye dinners! farewel all!

"To offices I'd bid adieu,

"Of dean, vice præs. - of burfar too ;

"Come joys, that rural quiet yields,

"Come, tythes, and house, and fruitful fields!"

Too fond of liberty and ease

A patron's vanity to please,

Long time he watches, and by stealth,

Each frail incumbent's doubtful health;

1

At length
A living drops -two hundred clear!
With breast elate beyond expreffion,
He hurries down to take poffeffion,
With rapture views the fweet retreat-
"What a convenient houfe! how neat!
"For fuel here's fufficient wood:

and in his fortieth year,

"The garden

that must be new plann'd

"Shall these old-fashion'd yew-trees ftand?
"O'er yonder vacant plot shall rife
"The flow'ry fhrub of thousand dies:-
"Yon' wall, that feels the fouthern ray,
"Shall blush with ruddy fruitage gay;
"While thick beneath its aspect warm
"O'er well-rang'd hives the bees fhall fwarm,
"From which, ere long, of golden gleam

Metheglin's luscious juice shall stream:

"This aukward hut o'er-grown with ivy, "We'll alter to a modern privy:

ઃઃ

Up yon' green flope, of hazels trim, "An avenue fo cool and dim,

"Shall to an arbour, at the end,

"In spite of gout, intice a friend.

." My

My predeceffor lov'd devotion"But of a garden had no notion."

Continuing this fantastic farce on,
He now commences country parfon.
To make his character entire,
He weds a coufin of the 'fquire;
Not over-weighty in the purse,
But many doctors have done worse:
And though the boast no charms divine,
Yet fhe can carve, and make birch wine.

Thus fixt, content he taps his barrel,
Exhorts his neighbours not to quarrel:
Finds his church-wardens have difcerning
Both in good liquor and good learning;
With tythes his barns replete he sees,
And chuckles o'er his furplice fees;
Studies to find out latent dues,

And regulates the state of pews;

Rides a fleek mare with purple housing,
To share the monthly club's caroufing;
Of Oxford pranks facetious tells,

And- but on Sundays-hears no bells;

Sends prefents of his choiceft fruit,

And prunes himself each fapless shoot,

Plants colliflow'rs, and boafts to rear
The earliest melons of the year;
Thinks alteration charming work is,
Keeps Bantam cocks, and feeds his turkies
Builds in his copfe a favourite bench,

And stores the pond with carp and tench. —
But ah! too foon his thoughtless breast
By cares domestic is opprest;

And a third butcher's bill, and brewing,
Threaten inevitable ruin :

For children fresh expences yet,

And Dicky now for school is fit.

Why did I fell my college life

(He cries) for benefice and wife ?

"Return, ye days! when endlefs pleasure

"I found in reading, or in leifure!

"When calm around the common room

"I puff'd my daily pipe's perfume!
"Rode for a ftomach, and infpected,
"At annual bottlings, corks felected:
"And din'd untax'd, untroubled, under
"The pourtrait of our pious founder !
"When impositions were supply'd

"To light my pipe- or footh my pride

" No

"No cares were then for forward peas,
"A yearly-longing wife to please:

"My thoughts no christ'ning dinner croft,
"No children cry'd for butter'd toast;
"And every night I went to bed,
"Without a Modus in my head!"

Oh! trifling head, and fickle heart!
Chagrin'd at whatfoe'er thou art;
A dupe to follies yet untry'd,

And fick of pleasures, scarce enjoy'd!
Each prize poffefs'd, thy transport ceases,
And in pursuit alone it pleases.

The FIRE-SIDE.

By Dr. COTTON.

I.

EAR Chloe, while the bufy crowd,

The vain, the wealthy, and the proud,
In Folly's maze advance;

Though fingularity and pride

Be call'd our choice, we'll step afide,

Nor join the giddy dance.