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Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I will not do you that wrong. Anne. I pray you, sir.
Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome: you do yourself wrong, indeed, la.
[Exeunt. SCENE 11.
The same. Enter Sir Hugh Evans and SIMPLE. Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
Sim. Well, sir.
Eva. Nay, it is petter yet :- -give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to mistress Anne Page: I pray you, be gone; I will make an end of my dinner: there's pippins and cheese to come.
[Exeunt. SCENE 111. A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FalstAFF,
Host, BARDOLPH, Nym, Pistol,
and ROBIN Fal. Mine host of the Garter,
Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly, and wisely.
Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
Host. Discard, bully Hercules ; cashier : let them wag; trot, trot.
Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.
I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector?'
Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Host. I have spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit Host.
Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster: go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
[Exit Bard, Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?
Nym. He was gotten in drink : is not the humour conceited ? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it.
Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinder-box; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest.
Pist. Convey, the wise it call: steal! foh; a fico for the phrase !
Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I must shift.
Pist. Young ravens must have food.
Fal. No quips now, Pistol ; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's.
Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English.
Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass?
Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's
purse; she hath legions of angels.
Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her boy,
Nym. The humour rises; it is good : humour me the angels.
Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin’d my parts with most judicious eylíads : sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine.
Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to her : she bears the purse too: she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [To Rob.] bear you these letters
tightly; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; Trudge, plod, away, o'the hoof; seek shelter, pack! Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.
[Exeunt Falstaff and Robin. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and
Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.
Pist. Wilt thou revenge?
By welkin, and her star!
With both the humours, I;
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
And his soft couch defile. Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humour.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents : I second thee; troop on.
[Exeunt. SCENE IV. A Room in Dr. CAIUS's House.
Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and Rugby. Quick. What; John Rugby - I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch
[Exit Rugby. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is given to but has his fault;-but let that pass. Peter Simple,
Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife?
Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard ; a cain-coloured beard.
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener.
Quick. How say you?_0, I should remember him; does he not hold up his head, as it were? and strut in
Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.
Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish
Quick. We shall all be shent: run in here, good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts Simple in the Closet.] He will not stay long:--What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say!-Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home:-and down, down, adown-a, &c. [Sings.
Enter Doctor CAIUS. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.
Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad.
[Aside. Caius. Fe, fe fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la cour,--la grand affaire.
Quick. Is it this, sir?
Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; depeche, quickly :-Vere is dat knave Rugby?
Quick. What, John Rugby! John!
Caius. You are Jolin Rugby, and you are Jack Rug: by: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.
Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.