the brother of their affection. Joy soon exhilirated my spirits, and brightened upon my countenance; I had the warm congratulations of all my friends, for it was noised abroad, that this very opulent gentleman had adopted me as his son, and they went so far as to add, his son, and heir. All this was very pleasing to me, but the kindred of Mr. Little, were of course, highly irritated, and I became so much the object of their envy, and their hatred, that, whenever they visited their uncle, without deigning to speak to me, they studiously sought opportunities of insulting me. This gave me pain, but it did me no real injury; for, upon every instance of invidious conduct toward me, my parental friends, and their family, especially their daughters, studiously augmented their testimonies of esteem and affection.

After I had passed some months with Mr. Little, he was visited by a young preacher, just entering the sacerdotal character, to whom I was much attached, and our friendship was mutual; I was prevailed upon by this preacher, to accompany him upon a little journey; I departed with the sanction of my patron. I had, in the societies with which I had been connected, occasionally exhorted; and I had been frequently urged by several of their preachers to aid them in their labours. Upon this journey I was, if I may so express myself, absolutely ensnared; accompanying my friend to the assembled congregation, with an expectation of hearing him, he put his arm under mine, and helping me to ascend the temporary pulpit, erected for the occasion, he suddenly quitted me, and I was in a manner constrained to speak to the multitude. Thus, for the first time, I preached to a large concourse of serious and attentive hearers, in publick; and, although at the appointed time I returned to my much-loved home, I continued, as opportunity offered, from that time forward, preaching whenever I journeyed, and even at home, when necessitated by the absence of the preacher. This made some noise in our little world; but, as it was not displeasing to my honoured friends, I was not dissatisfied. My inveterate enemies, however, being the nearest relations of the family in which I resided, were constantly endeavouring to undermine my interest in the heart of their kinsman. I was to pass some time in a neighbouring city, and to render my visit more pleasing, my patron, at my departure, furnished me with a sum of money; this sum I carelessly put into my pocket, without examination, until calling in my way, upon my mother, I discovered, that my patron had, as I supposed, made a capital mistake; that he had given me gold, instead of silver.

G

say,

I mentioned this circumstance to my mother, in presence of one of her neighbours; and without announcing my design, I immediately returned home, for the purpose of rectifying the error. Upon my unexpected appearance before Mr. Little, with information of his mistake, he smiled, and said, that he never kept his gold and silver together. "It was my design," said he, "to give you gold, but I advise you not to throw it away." I pursued my journey, and passed my time agreeably; but whether I threw away the bounty of my benefactor, I do not, at this period, recollect, I only know that I brought not a shilling home with me: In fact, I was never sufficiently sensible of the value of money, to retain it in my possession. I was received, on my return from this visit, with uncommon pleasure; and some time after, my kind patron, taking me into his private apartment, thus addressed me: "I need not, my dear, inform you, that you have many enemies, and I regret to that those enemies are among my nearest relatives; but, continuing in the paths of rectitude, you will be beyond the reach of their most malignant calumnies. Soon after you left home the other day, the clergyman, who has recently become the husband of my niece, called upon me, requesting a private audience; and when retired into this room, he observed, that he conceived himself in duty bound to apprize me, that I was not sufficiently acquainted with the character of the person I had adopted; that he was not honest; that he had obtained money from me, to which he had no right. You gave him, sir, as you believed, some pieces of silver, but upon examination they proved to be guineas; this fact I can prove; and if he could thus act, what may he not do?" I told this officious gentleman, that I had really intended to give you gold; but that you, conceiving I had made a mistake, forbore to appropriate the money, and speedily returned home, for the purpose of making the communication. Our clergyman departed, and you will easily conceive, not a little humbled. I mention this circumstance to you, my son, to put you upon your guard. It is my wish, that, in future, you should not be so communicative." This little anecdote was exultingly repeated to me by the good lady, and her daughters, who never failed triumphantly to report every little occurrence, which they believed would contribute, either to my pleasure, or my reputation.

66

My establishment in this family rendered me an object of envy, even among some of my religious connexions. Objections were raised against my supposed erroneous sentiments; I was more than suspected

of retaining my father's Calvinistic doctrines. Mr. Wesley received information against me. He set a watch over me; thus fixing upon me the evil eye of suspicion. A maiden sister, considerably advanced in years, became a dependent resident in the family of her brother. Her character was marked by duplicity, and she delighted in mischief. The tales she propagated were as various, as the parties which listened to her narrations; and all her communications were made under the strict seal of secrecy. Young, and unsuspecting, I found it difficult to encounter enemies of such opposite descriptions. I had some friends, of whose affection I doubted not; with these friends I passed much time, and I communicated to them every thing, and they, in their turn, communicated every thing to me; while many circumstances, thus confided, were, to my great astonishment, in circulation ! My situation became uneasy to me; I was fond of being in company abroad, this was very disagreeable to my friends at home; they expected in me a friend and companion, who would, by reading and conversation, give to their fireside new charms; and both parents, and daughters, were mortified and disappointed. Mr. Little expressed his disapprobation of my frequent absences. I was hurt, Mrs. Little shed tears, and entreated me to change my conduct. "You have," said she, “in this wide world no such friends, as we are disposed to prove ourselves ; you will be abundantly more happy at home, than you can be abroad. You should supply to us the place of our deceased children: we expect consolation from your society. You are greatly beloved in this house; your enemies are not under this roof. For God's sake, if you have any regard for us, if you have any regard for any of your friends, if you would secure your own happiness, or the happiness of your mother, do not thus conduct." Thus, with many entreaties, did this dear, affectionate lady, endeavour to arrest my wanderings; and, while attending to her friendly lectures, my best resolutions were in full force; and I determined never to offend again. But going out to meeting, one, and another, of my religious connexions would take me by the arm; I could not avoid engagements; and when I returned home, every individual of the family, Miss Little excepted, had frequently retired to rest. The good girl waited to apprize me of her father's displeasure. Much did she expostulate; and her expostulations were not always unmingled with tears. My mother was rendered extremely wretched; I saw the gathering storm, but I had not sufficient fortitude to abide its ravages. My enemies derived consolation

from my indiscretion, and my infelicities daily augmented. Whenever I was censured, I was rendered more abundantly unhappy; and I formed a serious resolution to quit both the family of Mr. Little, and the country, and to seek an asylum in my native place-England. For many days I continued obdurate, no remonstrances could influence me; I must absolutely commence a traveller-I must go to England. I had no object, yet I must depart for England—I could not tell why, indeed. It was believed, I was distracted. What, relinquish fortune, and such connexions, and such a prospect? for it was generally believed, that I was to be united in marriage with Miss Little. Nay, her father was informed, by his kindred, that I was absolutely clandestinely seeking to gain the affection of the young lady; and that they believed I was already in possession of her heart. But Mr. Little gave no credit to this report; he knew, that my evenings were passed abroad, and that this was the only source of dissatisfaction. It happened, however, one evening, when I had been out late, and he, according to custom, retired to rest, I found, on my return home, Miss Little waiting in the parlour, for the purpose of making a communication, which she conceived would be of consequence to me. We sat some time in a conversation, by which we were mutually interested; she made known to me the invidious remarks of her uncles, and aunts, and their displeasure at her, for not uniting with them in their sentiments; she dwelt upon the grief, which my inattention to the wishes of her parents occasioned them; and, upon this part of her subject, she became affected even to tears. I also was greatly affected, and for the first time in my life, taking her hand, I impressed upon it a kiss of fraternal affection; when to our great astonishment, her father entered the apartment. Had we seen a spectre, we could not have been more appalled. He stood for some moments speechless, until fixing his eyes indignantly on my face, which was certainly covered with confusion, in a very pointed and significant manner, he said, " So, sir ;" and, taking his daughter by the hand, he conducted her from the parlour, leaving me to my own reflections. Words are inadequate to a description of my agonies, during the residue of that night. An idea of Miss Little, in any other character than that of a very dear sister, had never crossed my mind; yet suspicion was now furnished with a weapon against me, which would abundantly enforce the reports retailed to Mr. Little, by his kindred. I have often wondered, that, at an age so susceptible of impression, I did not become more warmly attached to Miss Little; she was a most lovely,

and amiable young woman; and she certainly gave me every reason, which a modest, delicate, and sensible female could give, to believe she was not absolutely disinclined to listen to a tale of love. My apathy can only be accounted for, by a recurrence to an unquestionable fact ; my heart was wholly engrossed by my religious connexions. I passed this memorable night in my chamber, without entering my bed. I descended the stairs in the morning, with the feelings of a malefactor; I dreaded the sight of every one in the house. Mr. Little saw me, but spake not to me; Mrs. Little addressed me in the language of kindness; their daughter was not present, and I am persuaded she was not reduced to the necessity of feigning indisposition, as a pretence for absence. After breakfast Mrs. Little, in a whisper, directed me to retire into the back parlour, where she would speedily join me. With trembling dread I obeyed; she soon appeared, the shutters were closed, just light enough to see her, and be seen by her; I saw she had been in tears; she was a most kind-hearted lady. I could not speak, she commanded me to be seated: I drew a chair for her, and another for myself; she sat down, and I seated myself by her. After a pause, she began: "Tell me, I conjure you, tell me, what I ought to understand by the appearances of this morning? answer honestly the questions I shall put to you; but I know your answers will be literally true. My poor girl is very much distressed; her father is very reserved, and very sad, he will make no reply to my inquiries, and my child is also silent. Tell me, I repeat, what is the matter?” I came home late last night, madam; no one was up but Miss Little, who, like an affectionate sister, informed me she had something to communicate to me, with which I ought to be acquainted: I listened to her, till I became greatly affected with what I heard, and deeply sensible of her goodness; we were mingling our tears, when thus thrown off my guard, I regret to say, that I am apprehensive I committed an unpardonable offence; I am mortified, while I confess to you, my dear madam, that I had the boldness to press to my lips the dear hand, which seemed extended to rescue me from indiscretion; but indeed, my dear lady, it was the first time I ever dared to take so great a liberty, and I would give the world I had not then been guilty of so much temerity. At the moment Mr. Little entered, I felt as if I should have sunk under his indignant glance; Miss Little was greatly discomposed, while her father, with a voice rendered tremulous by anger, significantly said" So, sir"--and conducted his daughter out of the room.