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Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door. Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.

[to-day. Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not din'd Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe? [Dromio. Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both my office and my name;

The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
If thou had'st been Dromio to-day in my place,
Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or
thy name for an ass.

Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there! Dromio,
who are those at the gate?
Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.
Luce.

Faith no; he comes too late;

And so tell your master. Dro. E.

O Lord, I must laugh ;Have at you with a proverb.-Shall I set in my staff? Luce. Have at you with another: that's-When? can you tell?

Dro. S. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd him well.

Dro. S.

Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in,
Luce. I thought to have asked you. [I hope?
And you said, no.
Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was blow
Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in. [for blow.
Luce.
Can you tell for whose sake.
Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.
Luce.
Let him knock till it ake.
Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the
door down.
[the town?
Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in
Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps
[ruly boys.
Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with un-
Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come
before.

all this noise?

Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the door. Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore.

Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either. [neither. Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part with Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither. [not get in. Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we canDro. E. You would say so, master, if your garments were thin. [cold: Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in the It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so bought and sold. [gate. Ant. E. Go, fetch me something, I'll break ope the Dro. S. Break any breaking here, and I'll break your knave's pate.

Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, sir; and words are but wind;

Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind. Dro. S. It seems, thou wantest breaking; Out upon thee, hind! [let me in. Dro. E. Here's too much,out upon thee! I pray thee, Dro. S. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish have no fin.

Ant. E. Well, I'll break in; Go borrow me a crow. Dro. E. A crow without a feather; master, mean you so?

For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a feather: If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together.

Ant. E. Go get thee gone, fetch me an iron crow. Bal. Have patience, sir, O, let it not be so; Herein you war against your reputation, And draw within the compass of suspect The unviolated honour of your wife." Once this,-Your long experience of her wisdom, Her sober virtue, years, and modesty, Plead on her part some cause to you unknown; And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse Why at this time the doors are made against you. Be rul'd by me; depart in patience, And let us to the Tiger all to dinner : And, about evening, come yourself alone, To know the reason of this strange restraint. If by strong hand you offer to break in, Now in the stirring passage of the day, A vulgar comment will be made on it; And that supposed by the common rout Against your yet ungalled estimation, That may with foul intrusion enter in, And dwell upon your grave when you are dead: For slander lives upon succession; For ever hous'd, where it once gets possession.

;

Ant. E. You have prevail'd; I will depart in quiet, And, in despight of mirth, mean to be merry. I know a wench of excellent discourse,Pretty and witty; wild, and, yet too, gentle;There will we dine: this woman that I mean, My wife (but, I protest, without desert,) Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal; To her will we to dinner.-Get you home, And fetch the chain: by this, I know, 'tis made Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine; For there's the house; that chain will I bestow (Be it for nothing but to spite my wife,) Upon mine hostess there: good sir, make haste: Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me, I'll knock elsewhere, to see if they'll disdain me. Ang. I'll meet you at that place, some hour hence. Ant. E. Do so; This jest shall cost me some expense. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-The same.

Enter LUCIANA and ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse.
Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot
A husband's office? shall, Antipholus, hate,
Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot?
Shall love, in building, grow so ruinate?
If you did wed my sister for her wealth,

Then, for her wealth's sake, use her with more kind Or, if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth; [ness. Muffle your false love with some show of blindness: Let not my sister read it in your eye;

Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator; Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty; Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger : Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted; Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint; Be secret-false: What need she be acquainted? What simple thief brags of his own attaint! 'Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed,

And let her read it in thy looks at board: Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed; Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word. Alas, poor women! make us but believe,

Being compact of credit, that you love us; Though others have the arm, shew us the sleeve; We in your motion turn, and you may move us. Then, gentle brother, get you in again;

Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife. 'Tis holy sport, to be a little vain,

When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.

C

Ant. S. Sweet mistress, (what your name is else, I know | all grease; and I know not what use to put her to,
Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine,) [not,
Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you shew not,
Than our earth's wonder; more than earth divine.
Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak;
Lay open to my earthy gross conceit,
Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,

The folded meaning of your words' deceit. Against my soul's pure truth why labour you, To make it wander in an unknown field? Are you a god? would you create me new? Transform me then, and to your power I'll yield. But if that I am I, then well I know,

Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,

Nor to her bed no homage do I owe ;

Far more, far more, to you do I decline.
O train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note,
To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears;
Sing, syren, for thyself, and I will dote:

Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs,
And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie;
And, in that glorious supposition, think
He gains by death, that hath such means to die :-
Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink!
Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reason so?
Ant. S. Not mad, but mated; how, I do not know.
Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eye.
Ant. S. For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.
Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will clear
your sight.

Ant. S. As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night. Luc. Why call you me love? call my sister so. Ant. S. Thy sister's sister.

Luc.

Ant. S.

That's my sister.

No;

It is thyself, mine own self's better part;
Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart;
My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's ain,
My sole earth's heaven, and my heaven's claim.

Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be.
Ant. S. Call thyself sister, sweet, for I aim thee:
Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life,
Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife.
Give me thy hand.

Luc. O, soft, sir, hold you still; I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will. [ [Exit Luc. Enter from the house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Syracuse.

Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where run'st thou so fast?

Dro. S. Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? am I myself?

Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.

Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself.

Ant.S. What woman's man? and how besides thyself? Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.

Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee! Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me. Ant. S. What is she?

Dro. S. A very reverend body, ay, such a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, sir-rever. ence: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet she a wondrous fat marriage.

is

Ant. S. How dost thou mean a fat marriage?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and

but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world. Ant. S. What complexion is she of?

Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept: For why? she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it.

Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend. Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it.

Ant. S. What's her name?

Dro. S. Nell, sir;-but her name and three quarters, that is an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip.

Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth?

Dro. S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her.

Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland? Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs.

[blocks in formation]

Ant. S. Where Spain?

Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot in her breath.

Ant. S. Where America, the Indies?

Dro. S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breach of Spain; who sent whole armadas of carracks to be ballast at her nose.

Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? Dro. S. O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me; called me Dromio; swore, I was assured to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch: and, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transformed me to a curtail- dog, and made me turn i'the wheel.

If

And if the wind blow any way from shore,
Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road;
I will not harbour in this town to-night.
any bark put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk, till thou return to me.
If every one knows us, and we know none,
'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.
Dro. S. As from a bear a man would run for life,
So fly I from her that would be my wife.

[Exit.

Ant. S. There's none but witches do inhabit here; And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence. She, that doth call me husband, even my soul Doth for a wife abhor: but her fair sister, Possess'd with such a gentle sovereign grace, Of such enchanting presence and discourse, Hath almost made me traitor to myself: But, lest myself be guilty to self-wrong, I'll stop mine ears against the mermaid's song. Enter ANGELO.

Ang. Master Antipholus ?

Ant. S. Ay, that's my name.

Ang. I know it well, sir: Lo, here is the chain; I thought to have ta'en you at the Porcupine: The chain unfinish'd made me stay thus long.

Ant. S. What is your will, that I shall do with this! Ang. What please yourself, sir; I have made it for you.

Ant. S. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not. Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have: Go home with it, and please your wife withal; And soon at supper-time I'll visit you, And then receive my money for the chain.

Ant. S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now, For fear you ne'er see chain, nor money more. Ang. You are a merry man, sir; fare you well. [Exit.

Ant. S. What I should think of this, I cannot tell: But this I think, there's no man is so vain, That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain. I see, a man here needs not live by shifts, When in the streets he meets such golden gifts. I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay; If any ship put out, then straight away.

ACT IV.

SCENE I.-The same.

[Exit.

Enter a Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer.
Mer. You know, since Pentecost the sum is due,
And since I have not much importun'd you ;
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
To Persia, and want gilders for my voyage:
Therefore make present satisfaction,
Or I'll attach you by this officer.

Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you,
Is growing to me by Antipholus :
And, in the instant that I met with you,
He had of me a chain; at five o'clock,
I shall receive the money for the same:
Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and DROMIO
of Ephesus.

Off. That labour may you save; see where he comes.
Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou
And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow
Among my wife and her confederates,
For locking me out of my doors by day.-
But soft, I see the goldsmith :-get thee gone;
Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me.
Dro. E. I buy a thousand pound a year! I buy a
rope!
[Exit DROMIO.
Ant. E. A man is well holp up, that trusts to you.
I promised your presence, and the chain;
But neither chain, nor goldsmith, came to me:
Belike, you thought our love would last too long,
If it were chain'd together; and therefore came not.
Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the note,
How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat ;
The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion;
Which doth amount to three odd ducats more
Than I stand debted to this gentleman:
I pray you, see him presently discharg'd,
For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.
Ant. E. I am not furnish'd with the present money;
Besides I have some business in the town:
Good signior, take the stranger to my house,
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof;
Perchance I will be there as soon as you.

enough.

Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her yourself? Ant. E. No; bear it with you, lest I come not time [you? Ang. Well, sir, I will: Have you the chain about Ant. E. An if I have not, sir, I hope you have; Or else you may return without your money. Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain; Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman, And I, to blame, have held him here too long.

Ant. E. Good lord, you use this dalliance to excuse Your breach of promise to the Porcupine: I should have chid you for not bringing it, But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl. Mer. The hour steals on; I pray you, sir, despatch. Ang. You hear how he impórtunes me; the chain-Ant. E. Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your money. [now;

Ang. Come, come, you know, I gave it you even Either send the chain, or send me by some token. Ant. E. Fye! now you run this humour out of breath. Come, where's the chain? I pray you, let me see it. Mer. My business cannot brook this dalliance: Good sir, say, whe'r you'll answer me, or no; If not, I'll leave him to the officer.

Ant. E. I answer you! What should I answer you? Ang. The money, that you owe me for the chain. Ant. E. I owe you none, till I receive the chain. Ang. You know, I gave it you half an hour since. Ant. E. You gave me none; you wrong me much to say so.

Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it. Consider, how it stands upon my credit.

Mer. Well, officer, arrest him at my suit. Off. I do; and charge you in the duke's name, to Ang. This touches me in reputation:- [obey me. Either consent to pay this sum for me,

Or I attach you by this officer.

Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never had! Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st.

Ang. Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer;—
I would not spare my brother in this case,
If he should scorn me so apparently.

Off. I do arrest you, sir; you hear the suit.
Ant. E. I do obey thee, till I give thee bail :--
But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear
As all the metal in your shop will answer.

To your notorious shame, I doubt it not.
Ang. Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus,

Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.

Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum, That stays but till her owner comes aboard, And then, sir, bears away: our fraughtage, sir, I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitæ. The ship is in her trim; the merry wind Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all, But for their owner, master, and yourself. [sheep, Ant. E. How now! a madman? Why thou peevish What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?

Dro. S. A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage. Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope; And told thee to what purpose, and what end.

Dro. S. You sent me, sir, for a rope's-end as soon: You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.

Ant. E. I will debate this matter at more leisure, And teach your ears to listen with more heed. To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight: Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry, There is a purse of ducats; let her send it; Tell her, I am arrested in the street, And that shall bail me: hie thee, slave; be gone.

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