for the good cheer which a tavern affords, but for the amusement of pigeon shooting, which is kept up through the season with great spirit, and indeed it may be said through the year, for even dreary December cannot deter the keen sportsman from the treat here to be enjoyed; and, consequently, when other waterside houses may close their doors, the Red House has still sufficient attraction to present an animated spectacle, even though hoar frosts and short days unite to oppose.

The Marquis of Abercorn, Lord Chesterfield, and many other noble names, may be mentioned among the patrons of this establishment. Parties meet to breakfast at the tavern, and then repair to the adjoining grounds to the work of slaughter. Many of the matches display the perfection of skill. To estimate the number of feathered victims which fall in every year would be a task of some difficulty. Not unfrequently from twenty to thirty dozen are killed in a single day. When loosed from the trap seldom can the bird escape. Should the practised marksman for whom he has been enthralled, miss his aim, and the feathered fugitive clear the garden, the outscouts who linger beyond its limits often bring him down. These are a marauding crew who have frequently done great mischief in the neighbourhood, in consequence of which a sort of proclamation is frequently issued by the Red House authorities denouncing the said outscouts and all their works. In this, however, as in many other instances, the evil-doers seem still to prevail.

The manor of Battersea before the conquest belonged to Earl Harold. By William it was given to Westminster Abbey in exchange for Windsor. The monuments of the St John family, including one to the memory of the celebrated Lord Bolingbroke, are found in this parish. Among the men of note who lived at Battersea, in former days, Archbishop Holgate may be mentioned, who was committed to the Tower by Queen Mary in 1553. He seems to have amassed a great many valuables, for the officers took from his house at Battersea 300l. of gold coin, 1,600 ounces of plate, a mitre of fine gold, with two pen dants in like manner weighing 125 ounces, some very valuable rings, a serpent's tongue set in a standard of silver, gilt and graven, the Archbishop's seal in silver, and his signet, an antique, in gold.

Jean Baptiste Wicar.-The Royal Society of Lisle has offered a gold medal, of the value of three hundred francs, to the author of the best essay on the life and works of Jean Baptiste Wicar, the painter, a native of that city. The essays to be sent to the president of the society on or before the 15th of June next.

MR SNEEZE AND HIS DRAMA.
(By the Author of "George Godfrey.")
CHAPTER I.

Resolution to Reform the Stage-Difficulties and Delays-Perseverance at length triumphs and the Play of Mr Sneeze is in a fair way of being performed.

THE extraordinary manner in which writers for the stage have degenerated in modern times, had long been with me the subject of grave reflection and sharp animadversion, when a happy thought (so I considered it) struck me, that I might prove to the world, in my own person, that dramatic talent had not absolutely fled the land. On this bright idea I acted with such energy that in less than seven weeks I produced a play, in two acts, which I read to my friends with good applause. My wife approved of it. She has naturally a fine taste; but, besides that, I have since learned she thought it would be a feather in her cap if I succeeded, and she became "Mrs Sneeze, the lady of the celebrated dramatist."

I read it again and again, and besides my wife, my aunt, my daughters, and indeed all our domestic circle, were exceedingly amused. It is hardly worth mentioning, but there was one exception. My youngest son, an urchin thirteen years old, though generally considered a sharp little fellow, looked as grave as if he had been listening to a sermon, and one day fell asleep while the reading was going on. This, however, was soon corrected, and a good, sound horsewhipping made him laugh as long and as loud as any of the family.

The next thing was to get it acted, and I immediately thought of my friend Thunder, of the Theatre Royal, a gentleman who occasionally gives us his company to dinner, and seldom forgets to favour us with a morning call or two, when the benefits come round, as he and thirteen other eminent comedians take a night among them in the course of the season, and on one of these occasions, about six years ago, I remember he was so fortunate (the circumstance created a great sensation at the time) as to gain by the performance nearly five pounds clear! He happened to drop in very opportunely, at the period to which I refer, to know if I could discount a little bill. From the very great regard I have for the man I consented to do it, though, but for the design I had on the stage, I would first have seen him and his bill to Jericho.

66

He read my drama with a degree of attention that was highly flattering, and seriously, and I believe sincerely, declared it to be a production that no one could undervalue," and he had no doubt that "the manager would think as highly of it as he did." I always regarded him as clever,

but never discovered that there was so much in him as I had reason to feel assured there was that day after dinner-so much sound judgment, I mean.

At my request he undertook to deliver it to the manager with his own hands. This I held to be a point gained of considerable importance, because I had heard that many pieces sent to the theatre were returned to the author unread. Certain parties about the house, it had been insinuated, caused them to be coldly received, as, if wit and genius should obtain promotion, the dull nonsense, in the supplying of which they enjoyed a monopoly, would soon be exploded. My happy stars having, through the medium of Thunder, conducted me safely over this shoal, on which others had been wrecked, the prospect for me was remarkably bright. I had no doubt the manager, for his own sake, on perusing it, would be happy to secure a performance of real merit, and bring it forward without delay.

I did not immediately hear from the theatre. The preparations for the new grand opera, Mr Thunder informed me, might account for it. Others for the grand pantomime followed, as did those necessary for the forthcoming tragedy, the new comedy, the new melo-drama, and a dozen other new things, till my patience began to fray a little, and, in fact, became rather threadbare. I wrote several notes, to which I obtained no answer. At last I determined on taking a very strong step, nothing less than intimating, by letter, a disposition on my part to withdraw the drama altogether from that house, and hinting that "I would send it to the other, where the manager and actors were very anxious to represent it."

The threat so conveyed was rather imaginative. It was not true that manager or actor in the quarter indicated knew or cared anything about me or my play. What I had written was only intended to frighten the manager to whom it had been forwarded. When I mentioned to Mr Thunder that such was the fact, he said "He thought I was quite right, and if the menace I had hazarded did not make a stir in the theatre, he did not think any thing that I could write would."

It

My mind was now more at ease stood to reason that the manager would feel it necessary to have my play acted without delay. Having kept it so long, I took it for granted that he could not think of sending it back. At the end of another month, however, back it came, with a note, stating that it had been read with great attention, that the management was vastly obliged to me for sending it to them, a compliment which they now returned (by sending it to me), not thinking the piece likely to benefit the theatre.

Reflecting that, if the managers were fools at one house, it might not be the same at the other-to the other I sent my play. There the former course was repeated. It remained till I was out of humour, and then, after sundry applications and descriptions of the article inquired for, I had the happiness again to see the offspring of my brain return with a very polite note.

About this time Mr Rattleton, the mimic, applied to me, through a friend, to do something comic, as he had heard of my talents. What he immediately wanted was a little sketch, in which the "pult" would be upon him; in fact, in which one character was to say all that was worth hearing. For the sake of eventually introducing my first piece, I went to work and wrote a second. Rattleton liked it amazingly. He laughed and pronounced it to be " very funny," but it wanted a little alteration, which he would suggest in the course of the following week, and which I could manage without the least difficulty, on the objectionable passages being pointed out. The friendly offer was repeated once a fortnight till the end of the season, and then, of course, the matter was obliged to stand over.

One circumstance, however, grew out of my introduction to Mr Rattleton, which I thought rather fortunate. Through him I made the acquaintance of Messrs Grunt and Sinister, the lessee and manager of a minor theatre; and though their concern was not of the same magnitude as those superb temples of the Muses to which I had lately aspired, for a drama which had nothing of spectacle in it, but of which it was necessary the audience should hear every word to appreciate the wit, humour, and sentiment, their stage was the very thing.

I will not deny that I deemed it necessary to explain to my friends why I con, descended to let my drama appear at a minor theatre; but when I reflected what consequential airs certain parties gave themselves at the great houses, I felt that I acted a prudent part in coming to the resolution I had adopted in favour of the establishment I decided to patronize. But here I was sadly out. The negligence and delay which had outraged me elsewhere I found at least as flourishing at the smaller establishment, which I had fondly hoped, flattered by the offer of the first fruits of such a dramatist as I intended to become, would lose no time in putting their best foot forward to improve on what must be regarded for them as a most auspicious incident. however, passed away and nothing was done, and the second season was far advanced, and still things remained in statu quo. I began to lose all patience, and wrote in rather a peremptory tone. A

The season,

very civil answer was returned, in which the manager informed me that the piece about which I was so anxious had unfortunately been lost.

Soothing as this communication was meant to be, it nettled me not a little. I consulted my friends, Thunder and Rattleton, on the course which it would be proper to pursue. I even talked of legal steps, and complained to the gentlemen I have named, that the managers had made a fool of me. They severally shook their heads, owned the case was excessively annoying, but politely added, exchanging most significant glances (leers, my wife says would be the proper word), that "to make a fool of me was not in the power of any manager breathing."

Their favourable opinion, rendered perhaps somewhat too partial by friendship, though it reconciled me to myself, caused me to feel most impatient of the treatment I had received. I prepared a very sharp letter, and, just as it was completed, it so chanced that the late Mr Bounce, for many years editor of the Weekly Stiletto,' happening to look in, I showed it to him. He approved of it much, and offered to enclose it to Sinister, the comedian and stage manager, to whom he was writing, in answer to a note from that gentleman, in which he gracefully directed attention to the astonishing effects produced by himself and his daughter in a new piece, which had failed through the indifferent acting of his friend the lessee, Mr Grunt. I could desire nothing better than the opportunity of sending my play through one for whom Sinister felt such fervent regard as I had seen he expressed for Mr Bounce; notwithstanding which the latter cautioned me against expecting much good from it, as he knew from experience (so he said), "that theatrical managers were, one and all, the greatest hypocrites, fools, and humbugs in existence.'

Through the kindness of Bounce a favourable change was soon brought about. My farce was found, and read by Mr Sinister. That gentleman pronounced it to be "very funny," as my friend had previously done, and a civil message announced that he wished to see me on the subject.

An appointment having been made for the following Thursday, I went to the theatre. Having only been accustomed to consider a play-house such as I had seen it, brilliantly illuminated, and for the most part peopled by well-dressed, laughing persons, I was rather startled on passing the stage door to mark the grim visages of the squalid and poverty-stricken banditti lounging in the passages. These I learned were supernumeraries, or "live lumber," who, being paid the high salary

of one shilling per night for walking in processions, and for enacting warriors, robbers, courtiers, and senators, were expected by their considerate employers to be in attendance three-fourths of the day, in case they should be wanted at rehearsal.

Dirt and beggary on every side stared me in the face. Ventilation had been wofully neglected; I drew my breath with pain and apprehension, and suspected that I imbibed pestilence with each succeeding inspiration. Having passed through a series of gloomy passages, I arrived at the stage, which, as seen by the "dim, irreligious light" there found in the day time, looked to me twenty times as dreary as a gaol. I was introduced to Mr Grunt, the lessee, and to Mr Sinister, the stage manager, who, after exchanging with me preliminary greetings, informed me in few words that "they thought very highly of my play, though I must be aware that it required some alteration, which only a practical hand could supply, or at least persons who had made the stage their profession (they did not mean to insinuate that I could not do wonders if they told me how they were to be done), and proposed, if it would suit me, that I should return at that hour the next day, for the purpose of reading the drama to the actors, in the green-room.

I assented; and now considered affairs in a very promising train. My wife did not fail to remind me, more than once, that it was by her advice I had first turned my thoughts to the theatre; my daughter wished to know if I did not intend to give an additional party to commemorate the success of my piece, and I, in my own mind, thought it would not be wrong to do something of the kind, not in compliment to myself, for that would savour of personal vanity, but in honour of that regeneration of the drama which I fondly believed was at hand.

WOMAN SLAUGHTER. FROM time to time painful discoveries are made of the miseries heaped upon the industrious poor. The cry of distress is loud; there is a want of employment, and how is this state of things met? Why, it has transpired that it is the custom to take shirts in to make at the parish workhouse, and the unfortunate paupers who are employed on them are paid at the rate of a farthing per shirt! It takes a day's hard work to make one. The operator, therefore, earns three halfpence per week, which she has the further indulgence of being permitted to expend on tea and sugar.

It is distressing to contemplate the dreadful toil thus exacted-the many hours of endurance which the pauper must know

every action you have named occurs far more effectually with a piece of common zinc when immersed alone in acid water? The word 66 99 common resolves this question; the common zinc, or spelter of commerce, is an exceedingly impure metal; it abounds in metallic and other foreign matter, and is in reality a complete hete. rogeneous association of spots of zinc and spots of something else; and from the latter it is that the gas arises, precisely as it did from the platinum wire, in our more advantageous arrangement. The destruction of zinc by these promiscuous groupings is called by electricians "local action;" and is not merely a most destructive evil, but is a great source of interference wherever it is allowed to occur. And now we are prepared to estimate the value of systematic arrangement. In both cases the same changes occur, but in the latter they are localized-the one action is made to develop itself on the surface of the zinc, and the other on the surface of the platinum.

But let us put the experiment into a better form. A long slip of zinc, and another of platinum, are partially immersed in a tumbler of acid water; the exposed ends are placed in contact, and the evolution of hydrogen immediately occurs. If, however, the ends, instead of being allowed to touch, be connected by means of a wire, the same effects ensue; and, not only so, but, if the wire be very fine, it is made red hot. The production of heat in the wire, which forms the essential connecting medium between the two plates, indicates the presence of a new force, co-existent with the chemical changes; and it is only because we have avoided the heterogeneous action which common zinc unassociated with another metal presents, that we have been able to eliminate this force.

From a long train of circumstances, the term "electricity" has been applied to the cause, whatever it is, which produces this heat; and the particular means, now before us, of developing the heat, is termed voltaic electricity; from a certain philosopher of Bologna, who was the first to discover the effects of such combinations.

We are in the habit of calling an ele. mentary system, like that we have employed, a simple voltaic pair; it is, however, essentially triune; and the materials of which it is constituted must be of such a character as to be susceptible, when properly grouped, of certain chemical changes. Into all ordinary voltaic combinations the metal zinc largely enters; not on account of any inherent virtue possessed peculiarly by this metal, but on account of its cheapness, and its great affinity for oxygen. So again the platinum we have used is not exclusively the inactive metal; for, in many cases, we dispense with it, and use

other metals, or even carbon. It is valuable in electric combinations, from its want of affinity for oxygen. In our next we shall examine what occurs when a chemical compound, instead of a fine wire, is placed in the circuit.

(To be continued.)

HIGHFLYING ECONOMY. THESE must be cheap times if half the advertisers in the public newspapers get what they want on their own terms. To be sure many of them, though they want board and lodging and attendance for less than people in their senses would be prepared to pay for rent, do not scruple to intimate that humble arrangements and a plain table will suffice, and some even offer to teach music, languages, or otherwise make themselves useful. Not so the dignified authoress of the magnificent announcement which follows, and which appeared in the Times' of the 16th instant:

"A SUPERIOR AND PERMANENT HOME required for a lady. A well-established private family, who see society, where no other boarder is taken, and who have their town residence in the neighbourhood of the squares or parks, would be preferred. To ensure being where lucre is not the object, the lady wishes to be considered as one of the family, and will only give 41. per month, including everything! Address, with full particulars, &c."

Really this is admirable in its way! The family must be "well established;" they must "see society;" "no other boarder " can be endured by this fine lady; "the town residence must be near the squares or parks ;" and for the country residence, perhaps, she would make shift with Bath, St Leonard's, or Harrogate. Then, to ensure being where lucre is not the object, only 41. per month (a calendar month, no doubt) will be given. The lady is so moderate that she does not mention what carriages are to be kept for her use, nor does she say a word about the servants in livery, which, as a matter of course, must be in attendance. She expects too little for her 481. per annum. We almost wonder she did not intimate that Windsor Castle or Buckingham Palace would not be objected to.

Nobody can deny that the advertiser has taken the most effectual method of guarding against being received where lucre is the object. Supposing the lady residing near the parks had a breakfast which cost but sixpence, a luncheon fourpence, a dinner one shilling, tea threepence, and a fourpenny plate of alamode beef, with beer, for her supper, the whole of her four pounds per month would be spent by her entertainer on her eating and drinking.