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LETTER II.

"I love them that love me, and those that seek me

early shall find me."

"Oh! happy to have given

The unbroken heart's first fragrance unto Heaven."
HEMANS.

MY DEAR MRS. L.,

The extract with which I concluded my last letter to you, is the only written memorandum of much importance, respecting that early period of our daughter's life, which has been preserved. With a few remarks, I pass on to the next year. From the time of the conversation referred to, her course was ever onward. She loved much to converse with me on religious topics, especially of Jesus; and seemed very desirous to learn of Him. Prayer she delighted in, her closet was not rarely visited, and when invited to retire with me for prayer, she would lay every thing aside with cheerful alacrity, often saying that the hours which she thus spent were her best and most pleasant ones. Her prayers indicated a development of Christian character, and a simplicity of faith which often surprised me; and yet so sensible was I of

the power of education, that I feared to say, even to my own heart, "my child is without doubt a Christian." I copy two memoranda made in the year 1847, which will perhaps give you some idea of the manner in which she acquired that gentleness of disposition and deportment which was so often remarked in her:

"Was grieved this morning by some indications of ill-humour in my daughter Julia; but said nothing to her, hoping that she would herself see her fault. After struggling for some hours with her uncomfortable feelings, she came to me as I sat reading, and, putting her arm around my neck, said, 'Mother, I do not know what is the matter with me, I believe I got up wrong; I have felt out of humour all day, and it seems as though every thing vexes and troubles me.' I have seen it, my daughter,' I replied, 'and do you think you are doing right?' 'I know I am not, mother,' said she,

but it seems to me as if I could not help it; I

do not feel well, either:' — then pausing a moment, she added, but I know that is no excuse-what shall I do?' I knew that she was not well, and that the feelings she complained of proceeded from irritability of her nervous system, therefore I did not chide her, but told her that I had often felt just so; and that I always found it the very best way to carry my troubled and wayward heart to the Lord, and seek that peace and

quietness I desired at His feet:-she immediately went to her room, and after some time spent there, she came out with a bright and happy countenance, upon which I have since seen no cloud. Are not these the fruits of grace?"

On another day:-" Julia yielded to her temper this morning; but her conscience reproved her before I could speak to her, and sent her to ask forgiveness of the one she had offended. Surely grace dwells in the heart of this dear child, thus enabling her to confess her faults, and struggle, as she evidently does, against them."

In the spring of 1847, she received a new impulse to her religious feelings, so decided that for a time she looked upon that as the period of her conversion, "because," she said, "she loved her Saviour so much more than she had done before, that it seemed as if she had never loved Him, her former love was so small." This I felt at the time, and she herself afterwards thought, was not the case. This after judgment however was entirely her own, as I never expressed my opinion to her. At this time she had a strong desire to unite with the church, as several of her young friends, and also some members of her own family were expecting to make a profession of religion. She was very young, not quite eleven years old, and though her father and pastor were both very decided in their opinion of the perfect propriety

of the step, her mother faltered-considering her extreme youth, and the possibility that her natural conscientiousness and correctness of deportment combined with the power of education and of religious influence upon the youthful mind, had given symmetry to the external character, while the heart was still by grace unchanged. Many were the conversations we had on this subject, in which I endeavoured to set before her with all possible plainness, the awfully solemn and binding nature of the step she proposed to take. I wished that she should understand perfectly what she was about to do, that she might never in after years say with bitter regret, "I was a child, and did it ignorantly." I felt that she had better draw back then, than take a step she would afterwards repent of. The effect produced on her mind was, I confess, just what I wished. I had given my promise to her father and also to her pastor, that I would not say to her, that I desired her to wait, yet could not refrain from using my influence over her mind indirectly to this very end. It will be impossible ever to forget the gentle meekness with which she came to me on the morning of the day on which she had expected to present herself before the session of our church- as a candidate for church membership, and with a timid, tearful distrust of herself, expressed her determination to wait another year. The sweet

sad voice yet sounds in my ears:-"You know, mother, I am very young, and it would be such a dreadful thing for me to make a mistake, it is such a very solemn thing to profess to be a Christian,"

Anxious to know exactly what had brought her to this decision, I asked her whether she felt less desire for the privilege than she had done, or whether she began to doubt her love for Christ.

"Oh no, no, mother," she replied, as soon as her tears would allow her to speak, "It seems as if I desired it more than ever, now I am to wait; and I cannot love my Saviour less; how could I?" Feeling almost rebuked for want of faith, I said something of its being perhaps not necessary for her to wait, but she spoke promptly and decidedly, though timidly, as she always did: "Yes, mother, I had better wait, I can serve my Saviour just as well, and you will watch over me; I would prefer to, for I do not think, though you have often explained it to me before, that I ever understood until last evening, how very solemn a thing it is." I had produced upon her mind the effect I desired, but I was not satisfied with my own work. The views and feelings developed by the dear child brought more perfect conviction that she was indeed a Christian, than I had felt before. You may wonder that I doubted, and I will explain.

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