APPENDIX. No. I. [Extracted from the Christian Observer for January 1813.] WE are the parents of several young children, and are anxious for their salvation. Not long since one of our little boys went to visit a very kind friend who has been remarkably successful in the pious education of his family. We were desirous to have our friend's opinion of our son. His leading observation was, that the child did not show a cordial concern for his faults. Feeling the justice of this sentiment, and our own experience, we requested him to tell us at length how, under God's grace, this concern might be best excited; which drew from him the first of the following letters. We still expressed doubts on the subject of correction by the rod, whether it should ever be used at all, or whether it should ever be used where some contrition has been already produced by affectionate and serious conversation. This procured us the benefit of the second letter. Having found these letters of considerable use in the religious education of our children, and having obtained permission from our truly Christian friend to make them public, we beg leave to send them to you, in the hope that you will judge them well worthy of insertion in the Christian Observer. "My dear Sir, ly "The subject on which you request my sentiments is one of the most important in education. Without a cordial concern for a fault, no sound foundation is laid for its cure. Even if the parent looked no further than to worldly principles, to mere prudence and fair character, this would be true. It is eminently and obviously true, when the reference is to religion, and to God who searches the heart. Without this cordial concern there can be no repentance, and without repentance there can be neither forgiveness nor the Divine blessing; and therefore all must be unsound, even if outward reformation be obtained. I ought to apologise for repeating truths so familiar to you, as applied to adults, if not also as applied to children, to whom they are equally applicable. It is their very high and fundamental im portance and their not meeting with due attention in education, even from very many religious parents, which induces me to state them. I too frequently see parents make the reformation of their children's faults a matter in which religion is scarcely, if at all, referred to; and little or no appeal is directed to the heart and conscience. Thus morality comes to be considered as consisting entirely (or nearly so) in mere outward observances: God, Christ, and the Holy Ghost, are little brought into view in the course of the child's daily conduct; and he gets into the habit of being satisfied with himself, if he does nothing contrary to rule, though his motives may not have been holy, and his heart may have been in a very different state. You could describe to me better than I to you, the evils of such a state, and the hardness of conscience, and other future miseries threatened by it. "The system here has been, carefully to counteract these evils, both present and future, by doing our best to lead our children to have God in all their thoughts, and to habitual daily repentance and tenderness of conscience before him :-in short, to that frame of mind making proper allowance for their age, which is required in all of us by our Heavenly Father. To this end we always endeavour, in correcting a fault in a child, to have a right religious view of it, and to give the child, partly by precept and illustration, and partly by sympathy (forsi vis me flere dolendum est primum ipsi tibi,** is * If you wish me to be affected, you must first be affected yourself. ་ eminently applicable in this case,) a right feeling respecting it, as an offence against his Maker, Redeemer, and Sanctifier. It is too common, as you know, to cut short the notice of a fault. It is strongly blamed-perhaps the child undergoes some punishment-perhaps he is threatened with severe punishment if he repeats the fault; or perhaps he is required to say that he is sorry, and will not repeat it. The parent is peremptory, the child is frightened, and all is over in a very short time, without any useful impression on the child, except that he is less disposed to commit the outward act which has drawn upon him these animadversions. Mrs. and I, on the contrary, endeavour to make every fault of our children to be felt by them as an offence against God, and a sin to be repented of, and upon repentance, to be pardoned through our Saviour. We therefore carefully guard against the child's thinking that his fault is reproved as a personal offence against ourselves. We talk to him solemnly, but tenderly; feeling and expressing much concern that he has offended God; contrasting his conduct with the love of God; painting the pleasure with which his holiness would be received in heaven, particularly by Christ, and the pain which his sin has occasioned. In short, we talk with him, mutatis mutandis,' as with a friend with whom we tenderly sympathize, while we feel that we have a right to command. We temper the terrors of the Lord with representations of his love and mercy and we persevere in this course, till the child's mind appears humble and softened, and brought into such a penitent frame as God looks on with favour. The whole often ends in a short, affectionate prayer of half a minute, or a minute, for pardon and grace, dictated by ourselves, so far as the child's own thoughts will not of themselves supply it. This process is never hurried over, nor is it ever brought to a conclusion before the end appears to be attained; as nothing can be more important, so nothing is suffered to supersede or interrupt it. It is taken up very early, and is always accommodated in its different parts to the years and knowledge of the child. Varying where variation is necessary. It appears formidable on paper; but it is surprising how short, and even pleasant it is, in all common cases, through its being commenced so early and habitually practised. It has almost banished punishment from our house, and has brought with it various other good consequences. need not say, that considerable discrimination and discretion must be exercised by the parent. Religion must be made to wear an amiable and endearing, as well as an awful countenance. The bruised reed must not be broken; the feelings must not be excited beyond what nature will bear; and if a storm of feeling arises, it must be allayed without any improper indulgence, destructive of the effect to be produced. You will see that sagacity and self-command are wanted on the part of the parent, for which he cannot hope, if he do not maintain an unruffled mind. "There are some necessary concomitants of the system, which, were they not so, would be recommended by their own intrinsic importance. Holy things must always be approached in a holy way. The Bible must never be read with levity and indifference. Hymns, and the Catechism must never be jabbered over, nor repeated with that hard tone and manner which bespeak an unconsciousness of their sacred nature. Religion must practically be made the main-spring of life; and she must not only be so, but appear to be so, without departing from her native modesty, and without losing dignity by the frequency of her introduction, or by the kindness with which she is invested. You will be aware that difficulties, and very great ones, must be encountered, where, instead of habits of proper feeling and repentance on committing faults having been formed from infancy, other habits have been formed. These difficulties are in their kind the same which clerygmen experience in bringing adults to repentance. In their degree they will be greater or less according to circumstances. I had a child here for several months, some time ago, whom I could never bring to a quite satisfactory state of mind. on his committing faults: owing, as I believe, to the errors of his previous education. With our own children we have never experienced very formidable difficulties, God be praised! His is the work; but he makes great use of the instrumentality of parents, and gives, as I believe, an especial blessing to a well-directed early education. "I remain, &c." "My dear Sir, "As ours is quite a Sunday subject, I will employ a little of to-day in giving you my thoughts on it. With respect to punishments, our practice has been very generally to omit the employment of them altogether, when the child was brought to real repentance; but at any rate to confine their use on such occasions to strong cases, and then to employ restraints, and not corporal correction. But we have endeavoured to recal the child's mind to faults, from time to time, in a solemn but tender manner, that they might not slip out of his remembrance; and especially at prayer time, and other seasons when it appeared likely to be done with most effect. "We have been led to this course, partly by feeling, but it has accorded with our principles, as I will endeav our to explain. "The great and leading use of punishments (in the case of children at least) seems to be, to humble the mind at the time of a fault, and prepare it for repentance; or, when inflisted after a fault, to impress the fault more on the memory, that repentance for it may be more abiding: and in both cases, to deter from a repetition of the crime, through fear of a repetition of the suffering. Now though it has these uses, it has also evils attending it. The parent's temper is apt to be ruffled in inflicting it, and the child's to be soured and hardened in receiving it; and the fear of it is apt to lead to concealment and deceit in a child, and also apt to turn his eyes too much from God to man, and from the spiritual to the temporal consequences of crimes. Perfect love casteth out fear;' and one would wish to lead a child towards that state as fast as may be, and to foster and cherish the love of Christ, as the great constraining principle, in his bosom. Endeav |