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mother, ere another attempt was made to urge her out of her way, and gain his point. "Let me have it," was repeated as before, again and again, and louder and louder, till the object was fairly obtained. Indeed, the mother acknowledged that she complied with his request not because she thought it best for the child, but simply to get rid of him. And thus the matter went on from bad to worse, the mother reluctant often, but Charles importunate and finally successful.

Now Charles understands, full well, young as he is, how to compel his mother to gratify his request, in order to get rid of him. His success is by no means accidental. Indeed, when a loud, frequently repeated and clamorous demand does not arrest attention and secure his point, he has in reserve other means, some of which always prove efficient.

She loves him too well to be willing to say "no to him. This is one reason why she delays to reply to him till he has spoken several times. She hopes he will cease his clamor or forget his wants. But Charles knows her unwillingness to say "no," as well as she herself does, and even better; and he knows how to take advantage of it.

She is, moreover, exceedingly tender and sensitive to suffering. Her whole frame is agitated if her child whimpers, or, at least, if he cries. This, Charles knows, too, young as he is; and he manages the matter accordingly. For if repeated and importunate requests, and demands, and commands, do not answer his purpose, he knows how to affect great grief, and perhaps suffering. He begins, indeed, by whimpering; but that not being successful, he goes on to downright crying. In general, however, the mother's attention is arrested before he gets as far as this. Whatever else she can do, she cannot govern children.

Now a mother of this sort is greatly to be pitied. She should learn to attend to the requests of her children when they are first made, and to judge, almost instantly, whether they ought, or ought not, to be granted. If, in her judgment, they ought not, let her deliberately say so, for once; and let that be the end of it. I have said, on a former occasion, that there should be no reasoning with children; and there should of course be none here.

The habit of suffering children to "din us out of a thing," as it is sometimes called, is one of the most common errors among us, and is productive of immense evil to ourselves and to our children. No child can be said to obey, who thus, in effect, compels his parent to comply with his own terms. It is more correct to say

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that he governs his parents, than to say that his parents govern him. But what is to become of a child who has never learned to obey?

Sometimes, it is true, Charles meets with a repulse; but it is a repulse which grows out of anger; and he always expects, and almost always receives, extra attention, if not extra favors, afterward. How much to be regretted that she should thus add error to error! The first error that of answering in anger one would think was enough; why add to it the error of indulgence? If we have done wrong, let us do it no more. Neither our caresses or our sugared bread and butter, bestowed in such close connection with the passing away of the storm of wrath from our bosoms, that the child perceives the connection, will at all mend the matter. On the contrary, they will make it much worse.

And indeed, when, by an effort, as if conscious for the moment that the child's salvation depended upon it, such a mother manages to say, "No," it is so said and so accompanied, that it does not amount to a positive refusal. There is such a thing as saying "no in a way which, instead of settling the question, only serves to incite further discussion.

Many a child is ruined for this world, if not for the world to come, by his mother's reasons and explanations; or rather, as I should say, her misgivings. She says, "No, my child, I cannot get it now, I am too busy;" or, "No, you do not want it; or, "No, you are not a good boy, and you cannot have any thing till you learn to behave better." Need I say that no such replies settle the question. with the child? Does he not see that there is still room for him to renew his suit? Is he not encouraged to importunity?

His mother is indeed busy now, but he hopes she will not be so long; and why need she be so busy that she cannot attend to him? He does not want the object, he is told; but then he thinks otherwise, and the manner of his mother's reply encourages him to plead his case still further and summon the testimony of the case. He is not a good boy, he is told; but then he knows full well, that to be a good boy, is to please his mother; and that, in the present case, to be good will be to appease her anger. Is it not, therefore, obvious that "no must mean 66 no," before it has its intended effect on a child? and that the mother must say "no," in her heart, before the which falls from her lips will be a no," ," indeed?

no

The evils which, in one way or another, come from the explanations, qualifications, manifestations of regret, misgivings, reasonings, &c. &c., so often connected with our refusals to children, are innumerable. I would be the last person in the world to encourage a parent

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to be inexorable; or even to attempt to be immutable. But after we have weighed a subject properly, and said "no," let it be nothing but "no;" and let that be the end of it. No matter how deliberately, how cautiously, how kindly even, you say it, but say no more. Let that shut the door for the time for a reasonable time to all farther conversation on the subject, and to all hope in the child's bosom that conversation on that subject will be renewed.

FAMILY GOVERNMENT.

[For Fathers.]

Columns of newspapers and volumes of books have been written on this subject, and to very good purpose in many cases. But after all, the secret is more in a nut-shell than is commonly supposed. The greatest secret in the whole matter consists in being a truly good parent. Your children see you in your domestic carelessness. They know the real character of their parents better than persons do who live in other houses, and who only see you when you are on your guard. If they find their parents unkind to each other, or failing in any way to maintain in private the characters which they assume in public, their respect is gone, their confidence broken down. If your child has ever known you to be guilty of telling a lie, how can you govern him? If he knows you have cheated a neighbor, how can you govern him? If he sees you in public putting on the air and manner and claiming to be a Christian, while in his close watchings he sees that you are full of pride, and vanity, and bitter feelings, and ambition, and covetousness; that all your religion goes off at the corners of the streets, and none of it in your bed-chamber; how can you govern your child?

First, then, be a good man, and a good father.

2. Govern yourself, always, and without the least degree of unfair charity toward yourself. The laws you enact for your children, never break yourself. If you break out with bad passion and excuse yourself, you must certainly be as generous to your children, and excuse them for the same fault in the same way. How can you govern your children if you cannot govern yourself?

3. Let all your requirements be just and generous; never given for your own good, but always for the good of your children.

4. Spare no pains-give yourself no rest in body or mind, while any thing remains to be done which can enlighten the understandings, or sweeten the affections of your children.

5. Let all your orders be wisely given, and then maintain them at all hazards. Never in one instance allow your word to fail. Trust chiefly to kindness, persuasion and reasoning, and use punishment of any sort as little as possible. But let it be always understood that obedience, full and entire, must be yielded to your directions, and that you will, though with great considerateness and affection, never slacken your hand, or relax your demands until such obedience is rendered.

Mind these rules, and with very little severity in any way, you will seldom fail of securing all the benefits of a reciprocally affectionate and well-ordered family.

HOME.

Written for the Mother's Assistant.

HOME.

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Few words have formed a better theme for the writer, or dwelled oftener on the lips of the speaker, than this word - home. But, after all which has been said and sung, we fear there are some still ignorant of the amount of happiness which may grow out of the family relation. Many reckon among the privileges of home, a freedom from all restraint a full expression of thoughts and feelings, regardless of consequences. Home is, in short, often the receptacle of those passions which pride may succeed in restraining every where else. Thus those friends, who are linked together by the strongest of earthly ties, become the source of most unhappiness to each other. This does not always arise from a fixed intention to do wrong, but frequently from a mistaken idea of things. Children are early taught to look abroad into society for happiness. Hence that eagerness they manifest to appear as actors in the great drama of human life, and that restlessness of spirit afterward felt when not participating in scenes of a public and exciting nature. They naturally enough conclude that the whole course of their education was to afford them the means faire un beau debut ;* and when once thrown upon their own exertions, they reckon no waste of talent or labor, provided the public admiration is secure, and the meed of praise won. Home, to such individuals, has few charms; it is merely convenient as a place where the borrowed character may be thrown off, and one assumed in itself more natural. Few duties are connected with their relation as members of the family, and these mostly refer to themselves; so that such individuals know nothing of the bliss of self-sacrifice. True, they are sometimes agreeable when every thing at home seems to favor their wishes, and all abroad to flatter their vanity. But should the contrary be the case, should their attractions be rivalled their atmosphere be neglect, instead of flattery, and all their studied charms fail to captivate then home must feel the wound, and those abiding there must be the victims of peevishness, sullenness, and sometimes absolute ill temper. This is a serious evil, and militates directly against the happiness and usefulness of those concerned. But its cure is natural and easy.

Mothers must teach their children the proper object of education, namely, to render them useful and happy.

Let them early inculcate that the seat of happiness is the heart,

To make a fine debut. - ED.

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66 AS IS THE MOTHER, SO IS HER DAUGHTER.'

and that all its passions must be properly disciplined and controlled - that our talents are given for high purposes, and require constant exercise and improvement.

Let children, in their infancy, be taught to regard home as the only earthly paradise. To this end, let as many attractions centre there, as parental example and exertion can supply.

Let them understand that they have a separate part to act, and that the performance of certain duties is expected of them.

In their intercourse with all, let them practice that system of politeness which has its fountain deep in a feeling heart, and then shall all their acts be sincere, and they themselves what they seem to be. Sacrificing their own feelings for the gratification of others, they will not so often suffer from lack of attention due them, or a failure in that homage which vanity always claims. They will live for usefulness, not pleasure. But still, every thing worthy the name of happiness shall be theirs. That sunshine which they have shed in the pathway of others, shall be reflected back upon their own, and they shall know true joy. Parents shall bless the day of their birth, and travelling downward to the tomb, their tottering steps shall gather firmness, and their last days shall be their best. Happy the family where parents and children unite in their works of kindness and labors of love. Such a place alone is worthy the sacred name of HOME; for around it cluster, in miniature, all the sweet graces of heaven; and it seems to me an angel might for a moment mistake it for that region where no shadow of sin is - where love blooms in ever-during sweetness and perfection. July, 1841.

Written for the Mother's Assistant.

"AS IS THE MOTHER, SO IS HER DAUGHTER.” — Ezek. xvi. 44.

BY REV. OTIS WILDER.

Is this a true proverb? How important, then, is the good example of "the mother!

The proneness of children and youth to imitation-more especially of their parents and seniors-is a fact of peculiar notoriety.

The mother, therefore, who wishes her children to be moral, virtuous, and pious, if she would be judicious and consistent, must be careful that these traits adorn her own character and conduct. To instruct them in the way they should go, in the most perfect manner possible, by precept, while you invalidate that instruction by your example, will be laboring in vain, and spending your time