good man gave in under tones, and this was one of them--why and wherefore, let notable wives explain.

AT "Then Monday," said the conceding Clementina.

"No, Clemy, my dear, don't say Monday-it is so very inconvenient, coming just after Sunday."

Miss Clementina rose from the writing-desk, and dutifully announced her intention of not writing at all.

As

Miss Muddleton now interfered, purtesting she never saw such disrespectful behaviour, and would write herself. great calamities are said to unite the opposing parties of states, so now did this menace of Miss Patty's instantly reduce the refractory members of the diet; for every one felt the risk incurred, by allowing the elegant penmanship, and yet more elegant spelling, of Miss Muddleton to appear.

Miss Wronghead therefore reseated herself, and after much further discus

sion, it was resolved that the following note, written on hot-pressed paper, with gilt edges and embossed border, should be sent :

"Random Hall.

"Sir Gabriel and lady Wrong

head-at home-dinner-six o'clockAugust twenty-third

"Mr. and Mrs. Egerton."

(Sealed with the family seal-Crest, a head reversed; motto, Toujours tort.)

Sir Gabriel read and re-read the note, then said "These Egertons will be devilish clever if they can find out what you mean, Clemy; for hang me if I

can."

66

Very likely, sir," replied the young lady, with a most respectful sneer.

"But why leave out half the words, Clemy, my dear ?" said her mother.

"Oh,

"Oh, that is quite comme il faut," said young Hopeful; "it argues fashionable hurry."

"And this day six weeks! We may be dead by that time," growled the ba

ronet.

"And why at home,' child? are we not sure to be at home when we invite our friends?" observed lady Wronghead.

66

Nay, my dear, but such facts ought to be noted in the fashionable world, because of their novelty," observed her husband, rather sarcastically.

"And six o'clock, Clemy! just our tea-time," continued the lady.

"I remember, when I was abroad," said Adam Wronghead, esquire, yawning, and stretching himself, "I generally contrived to dine at sunset."

"And you may contrive to do so at home, any Christmas-day you please," replied his father.

The third doughty question was, who were to meet the Egertons?

This seemed a point not easily decided. Every one desired some particular favourite; and the moment the choice became a matter of dispute, of course no one chose to give up his or her opinion: Miss Patty talked, lady Wronghead disputed, Miss Wronghead exclaimed, Timotheus argued, sir Gabriel reasoned; but as parallel lines may flow on for ever without meeting, so as each of the diet pertinaciously persisted in the sentiment originally adopted, there was no probability of the matter being amicably adjusted. Lady Wronghead, however, cut the discussion short, by next day sending out her cards to whom she pleased.

Miss Patty formed a plan for bringing about an accidental explication of her being the author of "The Innocent Criminal," on the eventful day.

It arrived. The Egertons proved themselves people of no consequence, by being punctual to the hour, and people of

no

no spirit, in not keeping the circle waiting for them, and in not spoiling the dinner that had been hospitably prepared for them. The table was profusely and elegantly laid out; and as it could accommodate twenty as well as ten, twenty were invited.

Only one incident of very great importance occurred-the white fricassee stood opposed to the brown fricandeau ! Nothing could be worse-lady Wronghead blessed herself as the most unfortunate of women: and who, that saw her surrounded by friends and family, revelling in all that health, wealth, and rank could bestow, who would not have admitted the justice of her complaints?. Tremendous, however, as was this disaster, no eye but that of the ill-fated hostess seemed to mark its fatal occurrence -the guests were neither so witty as to laugh, nor so feeling as to mourn; sir Gabriel alone understood the half-suppressed agony of his susceptible help

mate,