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TIME was when Whigs called themselves Whigs, and Tories called them. selves Tories, and both condensed all objurgation in the term RADICAL. The word Radical covered all conceivable sins; expressed all possible contempt and abomination ; implied imputation of vulgarity, ignorant prejudice, and low associations. Now it has come to pass that the Whigs call themselves Reformers, and the Tories call themselves Conservatives, and both call the Radicals Destructives. The change is full of signifi. cance. The Whigs found their name a little spotted, and thought it as well to take another, without actually flinging away their old one ; but the Tories had made their name so foul and filthy—so offensive to the senses—of so pestilent an odour, that they were per force compelled to cast it from them and abjure it. There it lies in the highway, and no one will pick it up and make it his own, or acknowledge to have worn it. Let the town-crier, taking it with a pair of tongs, hold it up and call upon him to whom it belonged to come forward and claim it ; and men will put their handkerchiefs to their noses, and spit, and turn away their heads, and protest they never wore such a thing in their lives, or could conceive any human being of habits so foul, as to have brought it to its loathsome pickle. One says, “I think I have seen you in some thing very much like it; that button with the crown on it, and the motto, · Church and State,' I have surely seen on a blue coat with red facing, of which you used to be not a little proud when it was styled the Pitt uniform ?" “ Indeed you are mistaken,” replies the questioned party ; “I was never a Tory, I was always for seasonable and reasonable reformations, consistent with the genius of our constitution. I could never go the lengths of Castlereagh and Eldon, or Wellington; in short, sir, I would have you to know that I am a Conservative-a Conservative, which you will find in the Dictionary to mean one opposed to injury." “ But did you not,” asks the interrogater, “
approve the Manchester massacre, so injurious to human bodies ; and the system of profuse expenditure, so injurious to property; and can you find apter clothing for such political judgments than that in the tongs ?” « Oh, the circum.. stances were peculiar!” rejoins our Conservative. “ The Radicals--some few ragged folks of no sort of consequence-mechanics, and that sort of people-unwashed artisans-were destroyed, to prevent them from destroying Heaven knows what. And as for the expenditure, it could not be retrenched without injury to vested interests, expectations, reversionary claims, the dignity of the crown, and all those important and para. mount considerations. No, no; you must find some one else to fit that fool's livery; it never was mine. I was no Tory; but always open to reason, and a good Conservative."
In a year's time this name (“ new-fangled,” as the Tories should call it from their own vocabulary) will be as foul, and in as vile odour as the other.
Meanwhile, how has the Radical worn his name? The Whig looks at his spotted name; the Tory at his disgraced and discarded one ; and they turn to the Radical and find that he has made respectable the appellation which they cast upon him as a stigma! He is not ashamed to avow himself RADICAL, and no reproach is conveyed in the description of him as such. In this case, the enemy must give him a new bad name, for our enemy has no other weapon than vituperation; and the Radical is called
DESTRUCTIVE. The Radical is not uneasy under this description. He turns foul to fair, as his adversaries turn fair to foul. He accepts the name in good part, and declares himself destructive of all ill things.
“ On m'assassine !” cried the thief under the whip of the executioner. “ They destroy,” cries the Conservative, when abuse is theatened with extinction. The French army before Antwerp were Destructives, and the barbarian Chassé made loud complaints of the destruction of the works he had turned against the laws of humanity and civilized warfare. The French shelled the citadel with true Radical effect; and, after all the bluster, when it came to the point of peril, the roar of Chassé's complaints of rough usage, was heard, instead of the roar of his artillery. Here was Conservation illustrated. Our Chassés would hold out the citadel of abuses against the besieging force, and console themselves by calling destructive, the righteous powers they vainly en. deavour to resist.
Never did political animosity, run so high, as that of the Whigs and Tories to the Radicals. The hatred is all on one side ; for the Radical knows that Whigs and Tories are under the necessity of serving to his objects; and this knowledge softens the enmity he might otherwise feel. On the other hand, it is exasperating to the two parties to see that they cannot battle with each other without malgré lending themselves to the purposes of the Radicals ; nor can they unite without infamizing themselves to such a pitch, as to set the whole country against them. The quarrel between the Whigs and Tories, was that of rivals of a trade ; but their quarrel with the Radicals is a quarrel with enemies of the trade. The Whigs proposed to open a cheaper Government Shop than the Tories; but the Radicals are for abolishing the whole traffic in patronage, and break. ing up all the engines of extortion and misrule. The Whig sentiment is, that no man's jobs are safe with the Radicals; and every Whig loves his own jobs, though he hates the Tory's jobs with the hatred of envy, which possession converts to love. Seconded by the Radicals, the Whigs thrust the Tory power out of Parliament, by the Reform act ; in which measure they have found this remarkable convenience, that its sound parts are good against the Tories, and its rotten parts serve against the Radicals. Can we wonder then, if they have no wish for further organic improvement? We have a contented Ministry—men as happy as the mouse who made his hermitage in a Cheshire cheese. All their wishes are bounded by their offices; and they cry, “ Here let us rest from our labour; here for ever be our repose.” But like the mouse in the cheese, they will find they “must stir or cease to gnaw.”_Of course, the mouse abominates the cat as a Destructive. One cannot but laugh with scorn at the stupid presumption of these
The hand-writing has been seen on the wall; the sentence has gone forth to the aristocracy, that their kingdom has departed. Incom. plete as the constituency is, it has recorded the judgment of the middle classes against the aristocrats; yet Ministers think that, making common cause with them, they may arrest the tide of improvement. They ima. gine a vain thing. Radicalism, destruction of abuse and misrule, is in sure progress. The waves roll in and break, and the fool says, “ It is but foam ;" and they roll back, and he says, “ Aha! the waters are retiring.” . But the tide is fowing; and each wave as it rolls in, advances farther than the wave before it ; and each wave as it rolls back, recedes to a point short of the one before.
Where have the Radicals been beaten ? where have they lost ground?
from what object proposed by them has opinion declined ? There was a time when they were vilified for alleging defects in the Law. The ne.. cessity for Law Reform has been admitted, and the accomplishment of it pretended. There was a time when they were vilified for opposing Intolerance. Toleration has been granted by a Tory Ministry. There was a time when they were vilified for alleging the Corruption of Parliament. The Commons' House has been in part purified, and the representative system improved. There was a time when they were vilified for reprobating the Union of Church and State, and denouncing ecclesi. astical abuses. The necessity for Church Reform is now acknowledged by all ; and if the country were polled, the majority of the people would be found adverse to a National Church. But we need not recite instances which will readily occur to the minds of our readers. The truth of the representations of the Radicals has been tardily and reluctantly admitted, and acted upon in manifold measures of improvement, which have been signal triumphs of the popular cause ; and is it not fair to suppose that the doctrines which remain disputed and traduced are as sound as those which, one by one, despite of desperate resistance, have been pushed to success? All are in course of success. Short Parliaments may be considered as gained ; and conversions to the ballot are in steady and rapid progress. While any of these propositions remain in question, they are pronounced visionary, absurd, or revolutionary; and the Radicals are covered with abuse for advocating them ; but when the justness of them is at last confessed, there is no retractation of the calumnies cast upon the early supporters,-no admission of the forethought and better intelligence of the traduced Reformers: and for the next object advanced by them, there is a repetition of the same insult and slanders.
The fate of Actæon is the fate of all early reformers: they penetrate mysteries, are aspersed by those whose secrets they have espied, and made to seem what they are not,—and persecuted and torn to pieces by the hounds who should lick their hands.--But Diana has lost her great. ness; her aspersions have lost their force ; her priests their credit. Demetrius has long been bankrupt ; and Actæons of the present day make discoveries without danger, and follow them up successfully, notwithstanding some clamour, which no men of good heart and righteous purposes heed. All now is a question of time. To-day the man is railed at as a Destructive who proposes a beneficial change; and to-morrow it is acknowledged Reform, and the Minister who devotes himself to it is called the Saviour of his Country.
Illustrious M. P.! ('T will strike all bards the truth who can see) I hope that in the House you'll prove a Tully:
That of the Nine there's not one Muse Not' like a nag of your's, (of which you ve
lost the knees) Who rule, and long hare ruled, “the Fancy,” Break down, Brave Jack !
When you should rise into renown,
And rival your friend Fogo, t or Demos
C. P. R., Champion of the Prize Ring.
+ Jack Fogo, Poet Laureate, and Orator to the And, if a prouder title you desire,
• Fancy,' a covey,' combining the powers of a I'll say– Newmarket Squire:
Southey and a Cicero.
Since you have join'd the senatorial forces, And if his nose you do not pull,
, The metaphors of Shiel, and eke Macauley's, Lest members' hobbies from the right course bolt,
You well can second, with your mighty (Their bills I mean) each like an ill-train'l And, in support of sessions annual,
• mauleys ! Clap your own rider upen every bill.
Display the exercise call’d manual.
Can you, who laugh'd at Gregson's frown, By England's mighty champion must be And ne'er the crossing system went, awed:
Allow yourself to be knockd down And the Home Secretary
By some slim dandy's argument ? Of one should still be wary,
No; he may“ catch the Speaker's eye,"
If you but use the means you can,-
The 'Honourable gentleman'
Will soon be off his legs!
And though he be a single 'core,
You'll leave him · doubled up,'-by Jove But every quarter (Wishing the period shorter)
And when, Presents his budget, with its vast amounts,
Again, -Do make him fuirly cast up his accounts ! Daniel shall beard the lions in their den,
(I mean O'Connell, Erin's liberator, And if to haul you o'er the coals,
Whom Cockney Tories call an aged tatet ; Presume the Master of the Rolls, Get prim'd with gin, or brandy from a fasket, Nor mighty like
— I've been told,)
Although great Dan is not so very old, (For, as the winter nights grow colder,
Say, will you not assist the patriot then ? You should be your own bottle-holder,) And give the core a dig—in the bread-bas. And when his holy work he shall be at, ket.
Pluralities abolishing, On breach of privilege as this may border,
And tithes demolishing The Speaker grave will call to “ order : And making churchmen thin, who're grown But, since you've never been a sneaker,
too fat, Quite speechless you can strike the Speaker ! Since you at least know something of the
matter,-And then they'll talk of sending you to quod ; For though on Irish subjects not quite Pat, But you've been educated at a school
I know that you can come St. Giles's patter, That taught you to be cool, Then lend a hand to lay corruption fiat. Although at times a formidable rusher( A-la-Scroggins,
Some hopeful lordlings, hot from Crockford's Marking your qumber on opponents' noge
May raise a discontented yell, And so you cannot fail to floor the Usher, And say you derogate from their gentility : And Deputy of the Black Rod !
Each swearing-'pon his honour, or bis sonl,
You make the Commons' House a Guliezo Not me a doubt alarms
[nob, But that in Chancery when you've got bis To swamp respectability.
hole, To fib and job(And fibs and jobs for Chancery have charms) Yet, let them find no gull in Gulley, While your undaunted “ pluck” expands - Nor give them leave that fame to sully, I soon shall see
Which round the · Fancy Ring' rare lustre (Rare fun to me!)
Peel, Just like an infant in your hands,
And though you've often been inclined to The Sergeant at Arms.
Be now the champion of the common seal,! of Captain Gordon, and the Scottish Tories, And thump such knaves as Scarlett, black 0! dowse the glims,' and darken all their
and blue. glories !
At all events, no‘yokel' shall they catch, Give your one, two-a ' facer,' or a 'topper,'
When you they meet, Or • upper cut, to draw the claret-stopper,'
Whose' scierice' is a perfect treat, Your tie up in the wind,'— like kick from
And who-but I must use despatch, horse.
Por ah ! I'm now deserted by the Muses, And send them speedily to 'dorse !'*
And my old pen refuses A fast, again, should Perceval propose, To come again, Gulley ! tu the scratch. Pray, set your face against it,_with the
+ Notwithstanding the last note, it waar bene. To sleep. The other · flash'phrases employ. cessary to state, that sparring for a bellyful is un. ed in this ode, although numerous, possess within derstood by pugilists to mean a fight in downright themselves a brilliancy which must render any earnest, save only that the combatants wear bom commentary superfluous.
ing gloves throughout the fight.
THE GHOST OF GLEADLESS.
A SHEFFIELD TALE,
Is that year of our Lord which is distinguished in the annals of Shef. field by the arrival of the half-Jesuit Defleuscin, who endeavoured, by French promises, to induce the file-smiths to abandon their comfortable English homes, there lived in the coal district of Gleadless, which is found on some high ground, a few miles eastward of the town, a man of many sorrows. He wandered to and fro, and reproach and shame fol. lowed; while his racked heart told him how vain was the opinion of the vulgar,—that a conscience untouched with crime ensured continual happiness and tranquillity to its possessor. Sometimes he would complain, that he was assailed with a grief which Satan was not permitted to wield against the ancient Job; and sometimes forgetting the submission to God which that man's most sublime history had taught him, he would with daring wickedness demand of Heaven, what he had done that he should be so tortured. “ I am denounced to be a murderer !” he exclaimed, “ yet is the boneless hand of a weak suckling not clearer of blood than my own. My sorrow is greater than I can bear. When the idle and the vicious point at me with scorn, I can say boldly, they know me not; but when the good and the wise shun me, or throw upon me their awful looks of abhorrence and condemnation, then is my soul riven, and I would be there-there-with the sweet clod of the valley, where
the great and the small are, and the servant is free from his mas. ter.'"
Before the circumstances are narrated, which caused the chief person of this true tale to be numbered amongst “ the virtuous few,"—the “ good afflicted,” whose constancy the poet of nature sought to celebrate and sustain, it may be well, as fiction nowadays promises fairly to drive out all true history from the memory and attention of men, to pronounce his name, and describe his humble station; and further, in a few words, let the suspicious reader into the true intent of inditing the story of the “ Ghost of Gleadless."
There was, about the time before mentioned, a large and ancient coalpit at Gleadless, called the Black Heading. The owner of it was some London lord, or very rich man; but it was managed by one Matthias, the unhappy being whose wrongs are about to be detailed. This Mat. thias lived in a cottage, placed at a convenient distance from the chief mouth of the pit. It was so large, and diverged in so many directions into the bowels of the hills, that it had many places of lateral entrance ; and his business was to govern the half-human beings who laboured within it, and, by his skill, in what the colliers call “ dialing,” to direct the miners where to turn their picks in search of virgin seams of coal, or where, on the top ground, to sink tunnels for the supply of necessary air into the dark chambers beneath. Whether it was that the hideous vices of the people who were under his control, had made him more distinctly perceive the beauty of a spotless and holy life, or whether he had himself discerned the innate value of virtue, it is certain that Mat. thias was a just and upright man. Such he was ; and he had a helpmate called Hester, who was his joy and pride, when the slander of the world had not scathed him, and who was his only refuge and comfort, yea, his NO, XI.--VOL. II.