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Bap. She shall, Lucentio.--Come, gentlemen,
ACT I V.
A hall in Petruchio's country-house.
Gru. Fie, fie, on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever man so rayed ? 1 was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot, and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of
heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me.—But, I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla, hoa! Curtis !
Cur. Who is that, calls so coldly?
Gru. A piece of ice : if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel, with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.
1 Bemired, dirty.
Cur. Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio ?
Gru. O, ay, Curtis, ay : and therefore fire; fire; cast on no water.
Cur. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported ?
Gru. She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but, thou know'st, winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tamed my old master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis.
Cur. Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.
Gru. Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and so long am I, at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand (she being at hand) thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office.
Cur. I pr’ythee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?
Gru. A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and, therefore, fire : do thy duty, and have thy duty; for, my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
Cur. There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news?
Gru. Why, Jack boy! ho boy!'1 and as much news as thou wilt.
Cur. Come, you are so full of coney-catching ! —
Gru. Why, therefore, fire : for I have caught extreme cold.
Where's the cook? Is supper ready,
1 The commencement of an old song.
the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept ; the serving men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on? Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and every thing in order ?
Cur. All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news?
Gru. First, know, my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen out.
Gru. Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.
Cur. Let's ha't, good Grumio.
[striking him. Cur. This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
Gru. And therefore 'tis called, a sensible tale : and this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening. Now I begin. Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress;
Cur. Both on one horse ?
Gru. Tell thou the tale :- -but, hadst thou not crossed me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell, and she under her horse: thou shouldst have heard, in how miry a place : how she was bemoiled ; 1 how he left her with the horse upon her: