gance of their tafte, by making genteel entertainments: the fame French cooks are employed, the fame wines are drank, the fame gaming practifed, the fame hours kept, and the fame courfe of life pursued in the country as in town. The force of this illuftrious example influences the whole country; and every male and female withes to think and fpeak, to eat and drink, and dress, and live, after the manner of people of quality in London. There is no popular fubject of fatire, on which the modern common-places of wit and ridicule have been exhaufted with more fuccess, than on that of a mere cockney affecting the pleasures of the country. The dufty houfe close to the road fide, the half acre of garden, the canal no bigger than a wash-handbafon, &c. have all been marked out with much humour and justice; but after all, it is not unnatural for a tradefman, who is continually pent up in the clofe ftreets and alleys of a populous city, to wifh for fresh air, or to attempt to indulge a leifure hour in fome rural occupation and he who prevails on himself to give up the enjoyments which nature has thrown into our laps in the country, for a poor imitation of the follies of the town, is infinitely more ridiculous. Lycurgus paffed a law in Sparta to prevent the importation of foreign vanities, and not only exprefsly forbad the continuance of ftrangers in the city, for fear of their corrupting the people, but for the fame reafons would not permit his own people to travel. Frequent intercourse will undoubtedly produce fimilarity of manners; but the pre : . fent communication between the various quarters of our islands, are fo far from being to be lamented, that it is only to be wifhed and recommended, that they may produce real refinements and improvements of a valuable nature. At the fame time let it be confidered by our country gentlemen and ladies, that no benefit can arife from changing one fet of follies for another; and that the vices of the town never appear fo truly ridiculous, or fo thoroughly contemptible, as when they are aukwardly practifed in the country. A prophecy by Monfieur Voltaire. IN perfon Geneva, 1761. N thofe days there will appear in France a very extraordinary come from the banks of a lake. He will fay unto the people, I am poffeffed by the dæmon of enthufiafm; I have received from heaven the gift of inconfiftency; and the multitude fhall run after him, and many fhall believe in him; and he fhall fay unto them, Ye are all villians and rafcals; your women are all prostitutes; and I am come to live amongst you: and he will take advantage of the natural lenity of this country, to abuse the people: And he will add, all the men are virtuous in the country where I was born, and I will not ftay in the country where I was born; and he will maintain, that the fciences and the arts must neceffarily corrupt our morals, and he will treat of all forts of fciences and arts; and he will maintain, that the theatre is a fource * Monfieur Rouffeau, Author of the New Eloifa of of proftitution and corruption, and he will compofe operas and plays. He will publish, that there is no virtue but among the favages, tho' he never was among them; he will advife mankind to go ftark naked, and he will wear laced cloaths when given him. He will employ his time in copying French mufic, and he will tell you there is no French mufic. He will tell you, that it is impoffible to preferve your morals, if you read romances; and he will compofe a romance, and in this romance fhall be seen vice in deeds, and virtue in words, and the actors in it shall be mad with love and with philofophy; and in this romance we shall learn how to feduce a young girl philofophically; and the difciple fhall lofe all fhame and all modelty and the fhall practife folly, and raise maxims with her mafter, and the shall be the first to give him a kifs on the lips, and fhe fhall invite him to lie with her, and he shall actually lie with her, and fhe fhall become pregnant with metaphyficks; and his love letters fhall be philofophical homilies. And he fhall get drunk with an English nobleman, who shall infult him, and he fhall challenge him to fight; and his miftrefs, who hath loft the honour of her own fex, fhall decide with regard to that of men; and fhe fhall teach her mafter, who taught her every thing, that he ought not to fight. And he fhall go to Paris, where he fhall be introduced to fome ladies of pleafure; and he fhall get drunk like a fool, and fhall lie with these women of the town; and he shall write an account of this adventure to his mistress, and fhe fhall thank him for it. The man who fhall marry his miftrefs, fhall know that the is loved to distraction VOL. IV. by another, and this good man, notwithstanding shall be an Atheist, and immediately after the marriage, his wife fhall find herself happy, and fhe fhall write to her lover, that if he were again at liberty, fhe would wed her husband rather than him. And the philofopher shall have a mind to kill himself, and fhall compofe a long differtation to prove that a lover ought always to kill himself when he has loft his miftrefs: and her husband shall prove to him, that it is not worth his while; and he shall not kill himself. Then he shall set out to make the tour of the world, in order to allow time for the children of his miftrefs to grow up, and that he may get to Switzerland time enough to be their preceptor, and to teach them virtue, as he had done their mother. And he fhall fee nothing in the tour of the world, and he fhall return to Europe, and when he fhall be arrived there, they fhall ftill love one another with tranfport, and they fhall fqueeze each other's hands, and weep. And this fine lover being in a boat alone with his mistress, shall have a mind to throw her into the water, and himself along with her; and all this they fhall call philofophy and virtue, and they fhall talk fo much of philofophy and virtue, that nobody fhall know what philofophy and virtue is. And the mistress of the philofopher shall have a few trees, and a rivulet in her garden, and fhe fhall call that her elyfium: and nobody fhall be able to comprehend what that elyfium is; and every day fhe fhall feed fparrows in her garden; and the fhall watch her domefticks, both males and females, to prevent their playing the fame foolish prank that fhe herfelf had played; and the T man. fhall fup in the midst of her har- Character of a mighty good kind of veft people; and fhe fhall cut hemp with them, having her lover at her fide; and the philofopher fhall be defirous of cutting hemp the day after, and the day after that, and all the days of his life; and the fhall be a pedant in every word the fays, and all the rest of her fex fhall be contemptible in her eyes; and the fhall die, and before the dies, the fhall preach according to cuftom; and the fhall talk inceffantly, till her ftrength fail her, and the fhall drefs herself out like a coquette, and die like a faint. The author of this book, like thofe empiricks, who make wounds on purpofe, in order to fhew the virtue of their balfams, poifons our fouls for the glory of curing them; and this poifon will act violently on the understanding, and on the heart, and the antidote will operate only on the understanding, and the poifon will triumph, and he will boast of having opened a gulph, and he will think he faves himself from all blame, by crying, woe be to the young girls who fhall fall into it; I have warned them against it in my preface; and young girls never read a preface; and he will fay by way of excufe for his having written a book which infpires vice, that he lives in an age, wherein it is impoffible to be good; and to juftify himfelf, he will flander the whole world, and threaten with his contempt all thofe who do not like his book; and every body fhall wonder how, with a foul fo pure and virtuous, he could compofe a book which is fo much the reverfe; and many who believed in him fhall believe in him no more. HE good qualities of a mighty good kind of man (if he has any) are of the negative kind. He does very little harm; but you never find him do any good. He is very decent in appearance, and takes care to have all the externals of fenfe and virtue; but you never perceive the heart concerned in any word, thought, or action. Not many love him, tho' very few think ill of him: to him every body is his "Dear Sir," though he cares not a farthing for any one but himself. If he writes to you, though you have but the flightest acquaintance with him, he begins with "Dear Sir," and ends with "I am, good fir, your ever fincere and affectionate friend, and moft obedient humble fervant." You may generally find him in company with older perfons than himself, but always with richer. He does not talk much; but he has a "Yes," or a "True, Sir," or "You observe very right, Sir," for every word that is faid: which, with the old gentry, that love to hear themfelves talk, makes him pafs for a mighty fenfible and dif cerning, as well as mighty good kind of man. It is fo familiar to him to be agreeable, and he has got fuch a habit of affenting to every thing advanced in company, that he does it without the trouble of thinking what he is about. I have known fuch an one, after having approved an obfervation made by one of the company, affent with "What you fay is very juft," to an oppofite fentiment from another; and I have frequently made him contradi& himself five times in a minute. As tc the weather is a principal and favourite topic of a mighty good kind of man, you may make him agree, that it is very hot, very cold, very cloudy, a fine fun fhine, or it rains, fnows, hails, or freezes, all in the fame hour. The wind may be high, or not blow at all; it may be eaft, west, north, or fouth, foutheast and by east, or in any point in the compass, or any point not in the compafs, just as you please. This, in a stage-coach, makes him a mighty agreeable companion, as well as a mighty good kind of man. He is fo civil and well-bred, that he would keep you ftanding half an hour uncovered in the rain, rather than step into your chariot before you; and the dinner is in danger of growing cold, if you attempt to place him at the upper end of the table. He would not fuffer a glafs of wine to approach his lips, till he had drank the health of half the company, and would fooner rife hungry from table, than not drink the other half before dinner is over, left he should offend any by his neglect. He never forgets to hob or nob with the lady of the family, and by no means omits to toast her fire fide. He is fure to take notice of little master and mifs, when they appear after dinner, and is very affiduous to win their little hearts by almonds and raifins, which he never fails to carry about him for that purpose. This is fure of recommending him to mamma's esteem; and he is not only a mighty good kind of man, but fhe is certain he would make a mighty good husband. No man is half fo happy in his friendships. Almost every one he names is a friend of his, and every friend is a mighty good kind of man. I had the honour of walking lately. with one of thefe good creatures, from the Royal-Exchange to Piccadilly; and I believe he pulled off his hat to every third perfon we met, with a "How do you do, my dear fir? Though I found he hardly knew the names of five of these intimate acquaintances. I was highly entertained with the greeting between my companion, and another mighty good kind of man, that we met in the Strand. You would have thought they were brothers, that had not feen one another for many years, by their mutual expreffions of joy at meeting. They both talked together; not with a defign of oppofing each other, but through eagerness to approve what each other faid. I caught them frequently crying "Yes," together, and Very true," "You are very right, my dear fir;" and, at laft, having exhaufted their favourite topic of what news and the weather, they concluded, with each begging to have the vast pleasure of an agreeable evening with the other very foon; but parted without naming either time or place. I remember at Wefiminfter, a mighty good kind of boy, though he was generally hated by his schoolfellows, was the darling of the dame where he boarded, as by his means fhe knew who did all the mischief in the houfe. He always finished his exercise before he went to play: you could never find a falfe concord in his profe, or a falle quantity in his verfe: and he made huge amends for the want of fenfe and fpirit in his compofitions, by having very few grammatical er rors. If you could not call him a fcholar, you must allow he took P 2. great great pains not to appear a dunce. At the university he never failed attending his tutor's lectures, was conftant at prayers night and morning, never miffed gates, or the hall at meal-time, was regular in his academical exercises, and took pride in appearing on all occafions with mafters of arts; and he was happy beyond measure, in being acquainted with fome of the heads of the houses, who were glad through him to know what paffed among the under graduates. Though he was not reckoned by the college to be a Newton, a Locke, or a Bacon, he was univerfally efteemed by the fenior part to be a mighty good kind of young man; and this even, placid turn of mind has fince recommended him to no small preferment in the church. We may obferve, when thefe mighty good kind of young men come into the world, their attention to appearances and externals, beyond which the generality of people feldom examine, procures them a much better fubfiftence, and a more reputable fituation in life, than ever their abilities or their merit could otherwise entitle them to. Though they are feldom advanced very high, yet if fuch a one is in orders, he, gets a tolerable living, or is appointed tutor to a dunce of quality, or is made companion to him on his travels; and then, on his return, he is a mighty polite, as well as a mighty good kind of man. If he is to be a lawyer, his being fuch a mighty good kind of man, will make the attornies fupply him with fpecial pleading, or bills and anfwers to draw, as he is fufficiently qualified by his flow genius to be a drayhorfe of the law. But though he 2 can never hope to be a chancellor, or an archbishop; yet if he is admitted of the medical college of Warwick-lane, he will have a good chance to be at the top of their profeffion, as the fuccefs of the faculty chiefly depends on old women, fanciful and hyfterical young ones, whimsical men, and young children, among the generality of whom nothing recommends a person fo much, as his being a mighty good kind of man. 糖 I must own, that a good man and a man of fenfe, certainly fhould have every thing that this kind of man has yet, if he poffeffes no more, much is wanting to finish and complete his character. Many are deceived by French pafte: it has the luftre and brilliancy of a real diamond: but the want of hardness, the effential property of this valuable jewel, difcovers the counterfeit, and fhews it to be of no intrinfic value whatfoever. If the head and the heart are left out in the character of any man, you might as well look for a perfect beauty in a female face without a nofe, as expect to find a valuable man without fenfibility and understanding. But it often happens, that these mighty good kind of men are wolves in fheep's cloathing: and that their want of parts is fupplied by an abundance of cunning, and the outward behaviour and deportment calculated to entrap the fhort-fighted and unwary. Where this is not the cafe, I cannot help thinking, thefe kind of. men are no better than blanks in the creation: if they are not unjust ftewards, they are certainly to be reckoned unprofitable servants. Cha |