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A Glorious Victory-A temporary repulfe of the enemy, with great flaughter on both fides.

A Retreat-Taking a new pofition, or advancing backwards.

A Defeat-A flight check, with the lofs of cannon and and camp equipage.

A State Secret-What every body knows.

A Treaty-A folemn engagement between two Sovereign Princes, never to be broken, except when convenient to either party.

The Houfe of Commons-A fet of gentlemen chosen by a few individuals, to fupply the minifter with money. Parliamentary Reform-A very defirable thing, but not fit to be difcuffed either in time of war or in time of peace.

Rational Liberty-The fufpenfion of the Habeas Corpus Act, the eftablishment of spies, fecret examinations, &c.

Church and State-The bishops and his majesty's minifters.

Liberty of the Prefs-The liberty of praifing adminiftration, and libelling their opponents.

Exifting Circumstances-Any public difafter that may ferve as a pretext for minifters' changing their meafures, and keeping their places-fuch as the retreat of the allied armies into Holland.-[Gazetteer.]

CONSEQUENCES

OF AN INVASION OF THIS COUNTRY BY THE FRENCH.

HOULD the French be rafh enough to attempt the invafion of England, and fortunate enough to make good their landing, there can be no doubt but that they would be beaten back by the valour of Englishmen. Great, however, would be the confternation; and the following confequences would be the refult of their audacity:

The

The Confols would be very low indeed, how low no man can pretend to fay; and as for Scrip. Omnium, Navy, and Exchequer Bills. why they would be rather flat.

All the Maids of Honour, and moft of our fashionable Ladies, would be ready to faint at the idea of these Sans-culottes, the thoughts of a general ravishment would go near to kill them.

The Yeoman Cavalry, and the Fencible Corps, would be in high spirits, and glory in the occafion to fignalize their valour.

The Bank Directors would look grave, and fo would the monied men-they would not be able to tell what would come of it.

The democratic villains in the country would ask for arms to repel the foe, but Mr. Pitt and his accomplices would be almoft afraid to trust them..

All the fhops would be shut up in London, and the Men-milliners and He-haberdashers would be in requifition.

The News-boys with their horns, would make a great noise ine world.

The Theatres would exhibit empty benches, and poft-horfes would be difficult to obtain."

There would be fome fine fpeaking in St. Stephen's Chapel, and fome of its members would feel queerly, The spirit of the people, and their attachment to our glorious conftitution, would be fhewn in the brightest colours.

The Alarmifts would be really alarmed. Meffrs. Pitt, Dundas, Burke, Windham, and Lord Grenville, and the Chancellor would have a grand dinner, and afterwards there would be a Cabinet Council!

All differences would be adjufted in Pall-Mall, and the profpect of Windfor Keep would be gloriously impreflive.

God Save the King would be fung in every corner of the kingdom.

R

There

There would be fome great victories; and the triumph of Old England would be complete.- Telegraph.]

D

THE EXPENCE OF ECONOMY.

O you know, Mr. Editor, that I am in the high road to be ruined by œconomy. Never did a poor man pay fo dear in order to fave money, and it is all owing to the cry that you and others have fet up about scarcity, that I am fairly driven out of my own house, and am the laughing-ftock of all my neighbours.

You must know that I have the good fortune to enjoy the best wife in the world. She is a pattern to all her acquaintance. She looks into every thing herself, is quite notable, a great manager, an excellent market woman, and knows the cheapest shop in town for every article we want. This is not only a great comfort as well as faving to ourselves, but a great convenience to our friends; for when any of them want to buy a gown, or a pound of raifins, they are fure not only to confult my wife, but to take her with them for fear that they fhould be impofed upon; and the kind foul is every day upon her feet trudging into the city with one friend or another, becaufe really in the city things may be bought for almost half price; and this I can affure you is true, from the extraordinary bargains that fhe conftantly

makes.

But, Sir, to my misfortunes. I need not tell you, Sir, who have fo well defcribed the prefent fcarcity, that every feeling heart is anxious to leffen the confumption of wheat, and to make as great a faving as poffible of bread in thefe hard times. The number of fubftitutes for flour which have been fuggefted by the ingenious Sir John Sinclair, Prefident of the Board of Agriculture, and others, ftruck my wife very forcibly.

"Dear me,”-fhe faid one morning at breakfast"how fimple the recipe is-juft one half flour and one half potatoes. I declare I will try it, and then we shall make our own bread, and what a faving that will be!

it is but having a little caft iron oven put up at the fide of the kitchen grate, and it will be the most convenient and handy thing in the world; it will bake a pye, or a few tarts upon an occafion; and you know my love, it will keep your leg of mutton hot and comfortable any time that you should happen to be detained at the counting-house. What do you think of it, my dear?"

I never have an opinion of my own upon any fubject of this kind. My wife is fovereign out of the counting-house, which is my only territory. "My dear," fays I, "you know beft. It is furely the duty of every one to leffen the confumption of wheat, and if you think a mixed bread will anfwer, I would have you to try it; but, my love, might you not make your experiments, and fend the loaf to the bakehouse, and not buy an oven till you fee how it answers ?"—" Oh dear, no, by no means; now that is always your way. My confcience! truft a baker with an experiment when he is to be deprived of our custom, if it fucceeds. No, I thank you. Why he would burn it on purpofe." There is no arguing with my wife, the is fo clever; and besides, when once the takes up a thing, fhe finds out fo many advantages in a minute that did not ftrike her at firft, that the fecond reasons are often more forcible than the original inducement. This was precisely the cafe about the little caft-iron oven; it was thought of only for the fake of the potatoe bread, but fuch a variety of uses for an oven came creuding up in her mind, that fhe wondered how we had ever been able to go on without an oven; an oven would fave itself in two months in the expence of fuel, for the declared, for her own part, that fhe liked baked meat as well as roaft, and whenever I dined out, the and the children could do very well with a bit of a beef-steak pye, or a baked shoulder of mutton: and befides, a caft iron oven was no expence; fhe faw one fold at an auction for a couple of guineas, and fhe was fure the knew the broker that bought it, and would fell it again cheap." I did not fay a word more. R 2

When

When I came home to dinner, my wife told me with great joy, that fhe had got the oven, and the mafon was coming in the morning to fet it; and fhe had only paid two guineas and a half, and it was as good as new. There was not a fingle crack about it, and it was quite charming. There was only one thing that the did not know how to manage; there was not room by the fide of the fire for the oven, without removing the boiler. But fhe was fure, if the mason had not been an afs, he might have contrived it fomehow. But, hang the copper, it was not wanted often; it might be put up in the little back cellar near to the ftable. It would be eafy, the mason said, to carry up a flue. I faw fhe had fettled the whole plan, and fhe entertained me during dinner with the preparations fhe had made for our new bread. She was fure, fhe faid, that potatoes would be dear, because every body was going to eat them, and the had therefore the precaution to buy in as many as the thought would ferve us for the winter. "Good God! my dear, they will spoil. Where can you keep them ?" "I warrant you I'll find room," fays fhe; "and as to their fpoiling, I'll answer for them. How do I preferve pears till the month of June, and furely they are more delicate than potatoes?" I know how clever my wife is at these things. Her preferves are excellent, and there is not a week but fome of our friends are not forced to fend to us for a pot or two, when their own are all spoilt, and my wife always takes care to have enough on that very account.

Well, Sir, next day my wife begged of me to dine at the coffee-houfe, becaufe I knew the kitchen would be quite taken up with the mafon; and fhe was determined to lofe no time, for fhe would have a loaf ready to put in as soon as the oven was fet. Well, Sir, I went to the coffee-houfe, and told my friends how neceffary it was for every body to fet an example in these hard times of eating a mixed bread, and that I was determined to introduce it in my own family. Indeed, I faid, my wife was actually about it. "Aye, Mr. Cakelings

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