« 前へ次へ »
that the should try all mixtures. So one day we had wheat and barley, and that gave us the dysentery. The next we had a mixture of oatmeal, and that put our blood into a fever:-On the third we had potatoe bread, and then we had indigestion. In short, without knowing, at first, the reason, we have all been unwell: have all had occasion for the apothecary.--And we are all beginning again, without venturing, however, to fay so, to wish for plain old household bread from the baker.
My neighbours have some how or another found this out, and I am truly to be pitied. They ask me jeeringly how many hundred weight of potatoes go to a quartern loaf, and the very Aour-factor that my wife called in said to my face at the coffee-house, that if this saving plan went on all the flour in the kingdom would be wasted, and to tell you the truth I begin to think so.-[Courier.]
NOT IN BOSWELL.
the best vehicle for strong opinions, and oracular decisions. And though the framer of an artificial language is seldom exact at all times, yet Johnson scarcely ever stepped out of the full period, or betrayed himself by mixing familiar expressions with gigantick phraseology; and if at any time he fo far forgot himself, as to speak like any body else, he foon corrected the mistake by translating it into his own language; as in the following instance: In one company he had praised the Rehearsal vehemently; in another somebody ventured to do the same, leaning perhaps on his authority; upon which the Doctor called out, “ Hold, Sir! -The Rehearsal has not falt enough to keep ;" when instantly recollecting himself, he went on." I fay, Sir, the Re. hearsal has not faline particles enough interspersed in it to preserve it from putrefaction.” .
Mrs. B-_ desired Dr. Johnson to give his opinion on a new work of hers; adding, that if it would not do, ne begged him to tell her, for she had other irons in the fire, and, in case of its not being likely to succeed, she could bring out fomething else; upon which the Doctor, having turned over the work, faid, “ Then, Madam, I would advise you to put this where your irons are.”
yesterday morning, the waiter picked up a small MSS. book, and asked me if I had dropt it--« Let me look at it, William,” said I.---I found it contained a great many recipes in cookery and physic; and I am persuaded belongs to Dr. HUMDRUM, an eminent practitioner in diseases and politics. The following three recipes I have made free with for the benefit of the public at large; and I fatter myself that the Doctor will not take it amiss that I have sent them. to your paper.
REMEDY FOR WAR.
Penfioners, as many of each as can be found.
OF SPECIAL JURIES.
Merchants, a complete list;
A page or two of this may be taken at any time with perfect safety.
FOR BAD VERDICTS. Take of Fox's Bill quantum fuff.
Impartiality---equal parts ;, Sprinkle the whole with a Juryman's Oath. . To be taken on going into Court. Probatum eft.
Of the efficacy of these remedies it is impossible for me to speak, because I never knew a case in which they were applied; but as the ingredients are simple, I should suppose that the experiment might be made with some probability of success. I am, Sir,
Your humble servant. [Chronicle.]
ALONZO THE BRAVE AND FAIR IMOGINE.
A ROMANCE. *
The maid's was the Fair Imogine. « And, oh!” said the youth, “ since to--morrow I go
To fight in a far distant land,
On a wealthier suitor your hand!”
« Offensive to love and to me: For, if you be living, or if you be dead, I swear by the Virgin, that none, in your stead,
Shall husband of Imogine'be.
* This beautiful piece of Poetry is extracted from a Romance called the Monk, written by Mr. G. P. Lewis, M. P. As it passes to us through the medium of the newspapers, it appears to come properly enough within our plan.
If e'er I, by luft or by wealth led afide,
Forget my Alonzo the Brave,
Your ghost at the marriage may fit by my side;
And bear me away to the grave!” To Palestine hastened the hero so bold;
His love she lamented him fore :---
Arriv’d at fair Imogine’s door!
Soon made her untrue to her vows :
And carried her home as his spouse !
The revelry now was begun;
When the bell at the castle toll'd-ONE!
But earnestly gaz'd on the bride!
His armour was fable to view :---
The lights in the chamber burn'd blue!
The guests sat in silence and fear; At length spoke the Bride, while she trembled--« I pray, Sir Knight, that your helmet aside you would lay,
And deign to partake of our cheer !".
The lady is filent: the stranger complies;
His vizor he slowly unclos'd:--
When a skeleton's head was expos’d!
All turn’d with disgust from the scene; The worms they crept in, and the worms they creptout, And sported his eyes and his temple’s about,
While the spectre address’d Imogine:--« Behold me, thou false one: behold me!” he cried,
“Remember Alonzo the Brave!
And bear thee away to the grave !"
While loudly she shriek'd in dismay;
Or the spectre who bore her away. Not long liv'd the Baron; and none, since that time, • To inhabit the castle presume; For chronicles tell, that, by order sublime, There Imogine fuffers the pain of her crime,
And mourns her deplorable doom.
When mortals in slumber are bound,
And shriek as he whirls her around!
Dancing round them the spectres are seen: Their liquor is blood, and this horrible stave They howl---" To the health of Alonzo the Brave, And his confort, the fair Imogine !"