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THE DIVINE EXPERIENCE OF JOHN EPPS.

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but found, to my utter confusion, it was considered she could not, in any measure, impossible; was led to read much, and enter into my feeling, that I shamefully reoften much affected. Often has the read- plied "No!' I attended the same place of ing of the Scriptures by the children con- worship, and the preacher did so portray victed me, that I have scarcely been able my mind and case, that I have often vowed to proceed; and now I have arrived to the I would never enter that place again, and solemn crisis of time when I was to be used to think he must be truly an brought through that solemn exercise de- ceedingly wicked man, and, in hearing, clared by our Lord Jesus Christ, 'Ye must have called him the most approbious be born again,'-now was the period arrived names, for I verily hated him, considering when I was to be stopped in my untoward he was exposing me to the uttermost; and career by supernatural, invisible power, by such was my simplicity, that I used to the application of God's most righteous think that by my physiognomy he could law; and then was I led to internally ex- discern that I was altogether such an one perience-For I was alive without the law as he was indeed proclaiming me to be; once; but when the commandment came, and yet before half the week was past, sin revived, and I died. And the com- wished the Lord's-day was arrived, to hear mandment, which was ordained unto life, more of my awful condemnation for such I found to be unto death. For sin, taking indeed was my state of mind and exercise, occasion by the commandment, deceived that I still sought for more distraction; me, and by it slew me.' Which event took used to read the most alarming portions of place in the before-mentioned chapel, on Scripture with eagerness; and now I beLord's-day afternoon, May 29, 1820, from a came worse and worse: numberless cases discourse preached by the Rev. W. Broady, of the most alarming instances of the from these words: 'I love them that love strongest temptations occurred, that I me; and those that seek me early shall could specify their variety and nature, but find me.' Prov. viii. 17. Which period II forbear by saying, it might justly be said. have ever since considered, yea, rest as- there is but a step between me and death. sured was my spiritual birth-day, and Yea, as it were only a shade between me now began a real experience of that mys- and an awful eternity: and was it not that terious conflict treated of in that astonish- the children of God are immortal until ing chapter Romans vii. ; yet this was the effectually called by free sovereign grace, blessed day that a covenant God had and led to Jesus for life and salvation, I ordained I should arrive at for this very had long, yea, many years, been in endless self same purpose. On the evening of misery; indeed, nothing but the impercepwhich day I trust I attempted to pray ex-tible interference of supernatural power temporary for the first time, having then something in reality to go to the dear Lord about; and now came on fourteen months of most awful, violent, collision or opposition, combat, strife, contention, struggle and soul agony, as I can only express a shade thereof, being that which may be and is felt, but cannot be communicated; now sin appeared to my poor soul exceeding sinful; now sin became superlatively heinous indeed; sin indeed was sin; not only sins present but past came in awful battle array, and filled my conscience with unceasing terror, dismay and distraction; now sins long forgotten, even from childhood, all came to mind and memory; yea, hundreds of things appeared as but of yesterday. Now being totally ignorant what it could all mean, I was an entire wonder to myself, not having the least idea that people were exercised after this manner; for I knew not the meaning of experience, and only one person, in all my soul travail, spoke to me one word relative to religious matters; she being in the same house was, with the rest of the family, much alarmed at the sudden and vast alteration which had taken place in my manners and appearance, (she being, I believe, a gracious soul, said to me,' Are you concerned for your soul, or has Mr. Broady said anything that distresses you?' This was truly the sum total of the whole matter-all expressed in the two interrogations-and yet so ignorant was I, that I

could have prevented; for it might be truly said by me, 'my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than life' and ofttimes could I have said unto the enemy, 'how long wilt thou not depart from me, nor let me alone till I swallow down my spittle.' For oft was I in that bitterness of soul that I could exclaim, 'I am weary of my crying! my throat is dried!' And again,' For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me; my moisture is turned into the drought of summer:' for many times when spoken to, was not able to answer until I had swallowed my spittle; then was that exactly my case, In the morning thou shalt say, would God it were even; and at even thou shalt say, would God it were morning; for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou shalt fear, and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see. And consider, that for the long space of four months, I actually, day and night, choose death and damnation; for I considered I was ruined and undone to all intents and purposes; yea, in a word, lost and lost for ever; so that I did wish for the worst to be executed upon me, even damnation. Now this was awful indeed, with scarcely any cessation day or night; I have gone a whole week together and never closed my eyes to sleep; yea, bed hours were my choice hours, because nothing then disturbed or removed my mind from my distracting thoughts. These things, as may readily be supposed, did very much unfit me for my calling, which required

DIVINE PROVIDENCE, RICH GRACE, AND CHRISTIAN EXPERIENCE

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The next day has unfolded the leaf of disappointment, loss, sorrow, and sickness; satan has been permitted to tempt, while some latent evil of the heart is brought to view; the Lord withdraws the rich manifestations of his love; and we, (by the temptation) begin to distrust every past evidence, and to conclude that we are not the children of God. In this state we groan, being burdened, feeling what it is to be cast down, to be shut up, and cannot come forth; and only able to say, 'Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thee.'

all the intellectual powers I possessed at | in heaven but thee, and there is none upon the best of times, so that it was evident to earth that I desire beside thee?' others that I was exceedingly strange, and I used to be allowed half-an-hour to take a walk, for the supposed benefit of body. The first solitary place I came to, put an end to recreation; for I neither wished to see, nor to be seen; for to speak plainly, nothing was to me any delight, for the whole was damnation, do what I would and be where I might. Many a morning have I gone out of the town with my mind resolutely bent, as I have run along towards the river, have solemnly protested it should be the last morning mine eyes should behold. I remember rising in the night season once, and walking to the end of the town, where I stood still and considered that my distress was then so great that is was sufficient to disturb the whole inhabitants thereof, for I was vehemently bent to execute an awful catastrophe, it having been premeditated a whole week, and in that week I never slept; it was of a Lord's-day morning, and that was the worst day I ever knew, (if there was any difference) never to be forgotten. After a season these dreadful temptations somewhat subsided, and then was I as much afraid these awful things would be effected, so that I would never suffer myself to be alone.

The next day produces the opening leaf of creature kindness. Some kind friend manifests his sympathy, liberality, and encouragement. In this we are apt to put too much trust, and confidently expect this is a medium through which we shall realise deliverance, having found much encouragement from promises made. Thus, we are very apt to lean too heavy on an arm of flesh, to trust too much in men; for which reason the Lord will make us know that he has sworn that we shall have no other gods but him, and from all our idols he will cleanse us. Therefore,

The next leaf unfolds with disappointment; the friend is gone; the promise is broken; our confidence in him destroyed; his countenance changed from a smile to a frown; his sympathy is turned to perse

As I have been somewhat prudent in not wholly specifying these temptations referred to, yet I should desire to mention two singular ones, yet not half so awful, shewing that satan's stratagems are innumer-cution; his familiarity is changed to forable.

JOHN EPPS.

(To be continued in our next.)

Divine Providence, Rich Grace,

AND CHRISTIAN EXPERIENCE.

To the beloved, redeemed, sanctified and eternally justified Church of Christ scattered abroad throughout the whole world :GRACE, mercy, and truth rest upon thee, and the divine love of God dwell richly in thee, enabling thee to bring forth much fruit unto old age.

Another eventful year has run its destined round, proving and opening to us the certainty of a divine and overruling providence, whose manifestations (like unfolding leaves) have brought to our view various and unexpected scenes, testifying that he who rules over all things is divine, unchanging and Almighty.

Sometimes the leaf of consolation has opened with the sweetest manifestations of divine love, and has allured our souls onward in the firmest satisfaction that the Lord reigneth, and that he is our's, and we are his; and with unshaken confidence we have said, The Lord is my portion, saith my soul, he is on my right hand, I shall not be moved; he is my rock, fortress, and exceeding great reward; whom have I

bidding and unapproaching sternness; and we are taught of God that Cursed is man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm; and thus by terrible things in righteousness we are made to cease from man; and while the soul labours against sin and laments its own vileness and weakness; it tremblingly cries, 'Lord, show me wherefore thou contendest with me; and lead me in the way everlasting!' The Lord

answers

"That thus thy pride and self may fall,

That Jesus may be all in all."

Again, as sovereignly as the rain cometh down from heaven, the dear Lord, in order with his divine purpose, promise, and providence, unfolds the leaf of secret and sacred communion, and some precious portion of divine truth falls into the soul, like a drop of honey from the rock on the dew of Hermon, and opens up to the soul its eternal interest in the complete atonement and eternal redemption by Christ; the soul, with joy, enters the sacred enclosures of divine love; the winter is past, the dreary and rainy season is over; the turtle is heard in the land; the singing of birds is come, the pomegranate sends forth a goodly smell; the soul goes humbly down to the fountain; drinks to the full, and returns singing, 'Spring up, O well, sing ye unto it; here he meets his beloved, falls into his bosom, and feels his left hand under his head, while his right hand embraces him;

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thus they sit together under the apple tree | honour, (according to his divine oath and in heavenly places in Christ Jesus; and promise) will bring his chosen through. here they partake of the fruit; and it is "Though plagues and death around us fly, sweet. There, too, they exclaim, Bless the Until he bid we cannot die: Lord, O, my soul, and all that in me dwells, No; not a single shaft can hit, bless his holy name, and forget not all his Until a loving Lord see fit." benefits.

From such sweet visits we often arise in haste, and unguardedly; our cursed pride swells our hearts until the next leaf unfolds the deception; our sin is discovered to be hateful; gloom is brought into the mind; darkness that may be felt is the result; and thus we are taught the deceitfulness of our heart and the need of the unchanging love of God to keep us, and restore us, when we stray; thus we are brought to self-renunciation; and made to exclaim,' Lord, what is man that thou art mindful of him?"

The next leaf unfolds the pleasing scene of prosperity and increase in the congregation and church; the candidates deliver the most pleasing and satisfactory account of the Lord's dealings with, and deliverance of them; the whole church is humbled and melted down; fresh vigour is received; the people rejoice in the Lord, behold the majesty of their God, triumph in his allconquering grace, say, 'This is our God, we have waited for him; he is our help and deliverance, and shall be our guide even unto death. Come, all ye that fear the Lord, and we will tell what he hath done

for our souls.

The next eventful leaf unfolds a dreadful portrait; namely, the most awful deception and flattery, painted with the beautiful colours of gospel truth and expressions of brotherly kindness, and elegantly garnished over with pretended zeal for the welfare of the church of Christ, and deceitfully French polished with pretended and false recommendations, commendations and praise, while every action goes to prove that the expressions are deceptive. Thus we are taught that was it not for a divine providence, rich grace, and unchanging love, we should make shipwreck of our own faith, and if it were possible, the very elect would be finally deceived; but by these continued and conflicting circumstances, (such as none but God could manage,) we are taught to see, and admire how cleverly and righteously our glorious Lord works all things together for our good and his glory. May the Lord grant that the hand of the arms of his ministers may be made strong by the mighty God of Jacob, and the gospel bow long abide in full strength, and every gospel archer be taught to take his aim at sin of every kind, to level the sinner to the ground, and extol the Saviour above the heavens.

May the past eventful circumstances be an antidote against our trusting to man, and an Ebenezer to encourage us to trust in the righteous Lord; knowing that our God holds firmly our souls in life; enemies, devils and men, are under his wise control; he sees through all deceptions; and for his

From,

ONE WHO AWAITS THE JUDGMENT OF THE LORD.

Joining a Church.

Letter from the late John Stevens, of Salem Chapel, Meard's Court, Soho, to a young Christian friend, previous to her joining the church.

MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND-It is an infinite mercy to be called to the knowledge of eternal things in this vale of time, and to be brought to see the God of all grace in the mirror of inspired truth as an intended introduction to a final view of his glory, where the saints will see him face to face.

According to your own statement, you have been led to see the guiltiness of mankind by sin, and the utter imperfection of the least obedience that can be performed by a sinner. This is suited to open a passage for the entrance of the great Mediator between God and man, by whom the convicted and self-denounced sinner is supplied with an obedience adequate to the claims of unbending justice. This great truth is of utmost importance to the awakened mind: nothing can be better suited to the law and self-condemned sinner than the fact of Christ being the satisfying end of Jehovah's law; it is the basis of liberty to the guilty offender; and lays a just foundation for his full discharge at the bar of his eternal Judge. To understand this point distinctly, is to know a great part of the gospel of God our Saviour; and if known experimentally, through the teachings of the Holy Spirit, influences the heart to vindicate the justice and extol the grace of God; it leads the lost sinner out of himself, for perfect obedience; and yet strongly disposes his mind to obey the will of his redeeming God. The truly justified are the really sanctified in Christ Jesus. Truth is emitted, and always consistent with itself, and deserving attention and admiration.

Impressions, you mention, that have worn off. But when the Lord has given a new heart, the effects will witness the reality of the work; the mind then has a new spring of action, and is taken under the reign of grace. Now the impressions are better understood, and the things of God become admired for their own excellency; the wisdom, the justice, the purity, and salvation that shine in them, endears them to the mind; the sinner becomes anxious to retain the savour of those impressions, and when their influence is suspended he longs and looks for their return; he sees distinctly that there is no help in himself, and this prevents him leaning

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upon his own works; his self-righteous | through; and now that my Father in temper is thus counteracted, and the suit- heaven sees it meet to take me from all, I ableness of the Saviour opens more dis- dare not, cannot repine, but rather believe tinctly to his view; he ceases from himself, abhors his detected presumption and pride; dreads being left to his own management and will, discovers the constant need he has of the power and merits of his Saviour's blood and obedience; his constant cry is, 'That I may be found in him!' Interest in a High Priest becomes the only root of his hope and satisfaction. He reads, hears, and attends the appointed means of grace; but it is that he may see and know more of his redeeming Lord; his heart is won; his meditations of Christ are at seasons sweet and satisfying; characterised with his Saviour's character and kindness, he cries, 'How shall I love and exalt him? What can I do to praise him? What would he have me to do? What have his appointed servants done? Lord,' he cries, let me not be ungrateful or undutiful; accept thy sinful worm into thy service; all I have and am is thine.' These are, for substance, I trust, the sentiments of your mind. Beware of vanity and pride. The former would lead you to think too highly of yourself, the latter to think too meanly of others. Be sure you watch against these hateful qualities in religious matters before God.

and say, all is well. About two o'clock on Sabbath morning, the 28th April, she said to Mrs. D-n, she had not long to live, and desired her to call her husband. She eagerly grasping his hand, said, 'She had not long to live, and hoped he would not leave her while she had breath left.' Not long after, she was seized with a kind of convulsion fit, in which she lay about half an hour. Her coming out of it first appeared by her lips beginning to move, and then she spoke like one in a dream; I'm coming, I'm coming, coming, coming.' In a little she revived, and appeared quite sensible and composed. She looked at her husband and said, 'My dear, I have been at a festival.' A festival!' answered he, My dearest, what do you mean?' Yes,' replied she, a festival, a most glorious festival, in company with the most noble personages that mortal eyes ever beheld. Indeed, my dear, I cannot describe their glorious forms. I was present at the coronation of the king and queen, and saw there all the glory of man; but the king and queen in their coronation robes, with their brilliant diadems, were not to be compared with them. One said, 'Sister, come away.' Another said, 'Sister, come away.' A third said, 'Sister, come away.' And every one of them beckoned me and said, 'Come, come away.' Upon which

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Look upon sin as your greatest enemy, and dishonour, and never suppose it lawful to indulge in it for advantage. What you cannot have without sinful compliance, answered, I'm coming, I'm coming, ever resign as worse than useless, and no coming, coming.' Don't you see them? way needful for your final happiness. The There stands one of them just behind you, maxims of the world are often satan's my dear; and at the opening of the curtain helps to ensnare the simple. What you at the back of the bed near Mrs. D-n, I may lose for Christ, you will find to be of yet see a stream of that inexpressible rainno ultimate disadvantage to you. He that bow-light which attended another, who is looses for his Lord, gains for himself. Be disappeared. The finest colours of the attentive to prayer; set a watch upon the painter can give you no idea of it. Oh! door of your lips; aim to imitate the con- who would wish to tarry behind?" On duct of your redeeming Lord in his indiffer- one occasion, after being enabled to give ence to the things of time compared with up her husband, children, and friends, she those of eternity. Keep his image in view burst out in a loud and delightful strain, in humility, meekness, kindness, forbear- singing two precious hymns, during which ance, and uprightness. Learn of me,' time she appeared as though in perfect said he. May he be your joy and boast-health; after which she said to her husyour refuge and rest, who is all the hope of your sincere well-wisher and friend in the gospel, J. STEVENS.

Faith Triumphant : EXEMPLIFIED IN THE DEATH OF MRS. T.

band, 'My dear, we must now part. Many comfortable days we have had together. Few are acquainted with the happiness we enjoyed in each other's company. I loved you, and was in danger of giving you too much place in my heart. I know, too, you loved me, and have been all along a most indulgent husband to me; but you are now [THE following abridged account of the no longer mine. Do, therefore, kneel down death of Mrs. T was given to us by and resign me cheerfully up to him from our brother May. We insert it for the whom you received me. I have been enencouragement of those who fear the swell-deavouring to resign you.' Her husband ings of Jordan, and trust the blessing of the Lord will accompany its perusal.]

On Saturday before she died, she spoke with great composure. 'I now see plainly I am to die; but the great work is done many years ago: I know in whom I have believed, and I am not afraid of death. My plan of earthly happiness is indeed broke

prayed. After pausing a little, she said: Oh the love of Christ which passeth knowledge! and what am I that I should ever have been a partaker of it? Not unto me, not unto me, but unto thy name, O Lord, be the glory. I did love the Lord Jesus, and many delightful hours of fellowship I have had with him in his blessed ordi

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BATTLE OF THE WARRIOR.

nances: but all these I have now done with. Farewell ordinances.' Here again she paused a little, and then began: 'Though I am young, at least younger than some of you, yet you see I must die; and dying-work is hard work, dying-work is hard work.' Her husband answered, My dearest, the Lord's presence will make it easy work.' 'Oh! were it not for that (replied she) death and dying would be terrible indeed. He is faithful, he is faithful, and why shall I doubt his being with me when I am walking through the dark valley of the shadow of death? and, oh! when I get to the other side, I shall soon forget all that's past.' Again she was seized with a convulsion fit, and when she recovered a little, she continued her edifying discourse, as if she had been only all the while recollecting herself, viz. Oh heaven, heaven, what a blessed place will it be! What is all the grandeur of this world when compared with the glories of the mount Zion above! and how much more excellent than this world of sin, and pain, and sorrow!-No hypocrite there; no tempting devil there; no gay, flattering, delusive vanity there; no unbelieving, wandering heart there; no weariness of worship there; no spots, no imperfection there. There I shall see my God and Redeemer face to face: there I shall enjoy in perfection the uninterrupted comforts of the great Comforter: there I shall know the true meaning of that blessed passage of Scripture, we are come unto mount Zion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem,' &c. Being desired to compose herself to rest: 'Rest! no, (said she) do not desire me, my dear. How can I sleep when I see death and glory so near? Oh! death, how ferocious a thing; how awful! Nature shrinks at the prospect of the cup. Serious and awful indeed, to appear before an infinite holy jealous God: but yet a faith's view of my Lord, and his most perfect righteousness, brightens the scene, and dispels all my fears. Oh! glory, how delightful, even in contemplation! Death is but a bridge, a step, when I look at the land of glory on the other side. Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly; make no long tarrying, O my God.' Not long after she fell into a swoon, and her husband, apprehensive she was not far from death, kneeled down and began to pray. He had not spoken many sentences, when his well-known voice, in that duty, roused her from the fit; she catched the words from his lips, and prayed along with him. When he had done, she said, 'My dear, it was cruel, it was cruel; I was just entering the threshold of glory, and you have prayed me back to life.' For three hours before she died she spoke little; but what words she dropped, breathed the same heavenly temper with the above; and, after lying sweetly composed for some time, she sleeped in Jesus, about half an hour after one o'clock, on Monday morning, the 29th of April, with a smile upon her countenance.

A Battle of the Warrior

WITH CONFUSED NOISE.

A fight! a fight! a fight of faith,
My soul hath almost lost her breath,
While I am captive led;

The powers of darkness shout aloud,
While I am drag'd along the crowd,

My soul is almost dead.

O my dear Lord! give me thy sword-
Some promise in thy holy word-

And strengthen me to fight;

With bleeding wounds, and trembling heart, Strengthened by thee, I'll play my part,

And put my foes to flight.

World, flesh and satan, hell and sin,
Their desperate wars will oft' begin,

Their troops rise in my heart;
Those cowards fight me when I'm down,
And strive to rob me of my crown,

Dear Captain take my part.

My sword and helmet, shoes and shield
Seem gone, and yet I cannot yield
To this unhallow'd throng;
While I have life my soul would fight,
Lord help me in this dark black night,
Come, Lord, don't tarry long.
I'm feeling for my sword and shield;
O, if they're gone, then I must yield
To this vile murderous nation;
I have no power, but I've a will,
To thee I hope I'm loyal still,
Captain of our salvation.

With inward groans, and gaping wounds,
To thee I make my piteous moans,
And heave the broken sigh;

Deep are my wounds, and keen the smart,
Dim are my eyes, and faint my heart,

Lord, save me, or I die.

My flickering light burns very low,
My pulse is feeble, faint and slow,

The life-pulse of my heart:
My foes mean death at ev'ry blow,
And shout to see me brought thus low
By all their hellish art.

Physician! Captain of our hosts!
Rebuke the vile infernal ghosts,

Bring heavenly cordials strong;

My life-strings groan with ev'ry sigh,
Lord, help me soon, don't let me die,

O! do not tarry long!

My groans are mingled with their joys,
I struggle midst confused noise,
And garments roll'd in blood.
Their triumphs are my deepest groans,
And while their swords are in my bones,
They cry, Where is your God?'

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God of my life, don't tarry long!
Come, turn my groanings to a song,

And let me hear thy voice.
Thy presence frights my foes away,
And turns my darkness into day,

And makes my heart rejoice.
Some years have passed since I began
To fight this fight; just twenty-one ;
And I expect a pension:
Not for my value--'tis not so;
Of human merit--no, no, no;
I have no apprehension.

My Captain taught my hands to fight
By faith, and in his Spirit's might,
You'll see the rebels run
Down the deep gulf, with all the swine,
While the king calls us up to dine
With him beyond the sun.

A WATCHMAN ON THE WALLS. Leicester, Nov. 19th, 1848.

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