Good humour alone can impart,

The roses that bloom in her face,

Have planted their thorns in my heart. Fair Venus who sprang from the sea, Despising the haunts of renown, Leaves Brighton, to frolic with me, And spends the whole winter in town.

I sang of the heroes of Spain,
Who fight in the Parthian mode,
The goddess grew sick at my strain,
And handed to Vulcan my ode.
"Forbear," she exclaim'd, "silly elf,
With haughty Bellona. to rove,
Leave Spain to take care of herself,
Thy song is of Ellen and love."

Come, Love, bring the graces along,
That Ellen may melt at my woes,
Let fluent Rousseau gild my tongue,
And Chesterfield turn out my toes.
Ah no! I must wield other arms,

Sweet Ellen, to reign in thy heart, When Love owes to Nature his charms,

How vain are the lessons of art.

J.

And eyes may be, as morning, bright,
Yet if they frown contempt the while,
I'd rather they were dark as night,
Unless they sparkle with a smile :

And tho' a cherry lip I spy,

I will not form a wish to press,
Unless it breathe a melting sigh,

The warm and mutual kiss to bless.

Those charms, I hate then, where I trace,

The impulse of a heart unkind,

And if I love that heavenly face,

'Tis 'lumin'd with an angel's mind!

P. G.

ARITHMETIC.

ANSWER TO A LADY, WHO SEEING SOME SYMPTOMS OF COURT-
SHIP, WROTE

"May you ere long united be,

And en famille soon number THREE.” K. L.

LA REPONSE.

Un et une font deux,
C'est nombre heureux

En la galanterie ;
Mais quand une fois,

Un et une font trois,

C'est une diablerie!

Says COCKER, One and one make two ;
And that I own in love will do,

If folks are kind and civil ;

But O! when one and one make three,
By Jove, sweet Kate, 'twixt you and me,
It is the very

Christmas.

Devil!

OLD NICK.

GVOL, VII.*

:

THE LOVES OF THE PLANTS.

AIR-" Said a smile to a tear."

A hair-bell one day,

To a jonquil did say,

(The sun beaming bright in spring weather :)

Let's set off to yon bower,

And beguile half an hour

In amorous pastime together.

The blushing jonquil,

At first took it ill,

That to her he such language should use, sir,

But at last, (silly plant!)

Overcome by his cant,

Cried, "I cannot your offer refuse, sir."

Of her fatal consent,

She soon had to repent,

She had, sure as mutton is mutton;

For in less than a year,

The jonquil, it is clear,

Lay-in of a bachelor's button!

Jonquil had a brother,

Who made a sad pother,

Crying, "Oh! my dear sister betray'd is,” And he swore that the law

Should redress this faux-pas

Of the hair-bell-a Turk 'mongst the ladies.

Then away did he trudge,

To a cauliflower judge,

And to him did the sad tale relate;

Taking pains to describe,

That the whole jonquil tribe,

Were involv'd in his sister's hard fate.

Here the grave magistrate,
Shook his wig on his pate,

And vow'd that the fuss he'd soon settle-
So he ha'd and he hem'd,

And the hair-bell condemn'd,
To marry a prudish old nettle!

Now in Blackfriars road,

There is seen an abode,

For girls, who at times have been frisky:
And 'twas there that he sent

The jonquil to repent,

Where she revels, talks slang, and drinks whisky.

MORAL.

Ye fond maidens so fair!

Of that man, ah! beware,

Who too warmly on virtue descants,
For, believe me, 'tis true,

A good lesson for you,

May be learnt from the loves of the plants.

NAUTICAL QUIBBLE.

POLYPETALOUS.

FATHER.

A sailor is a drunken sot,

And shall not have my daughter

FRIEND.

How can it be! Have you forgot

A sailor lives on water?