ed with confusion in thy sight. Though sin does not obtain the full consent of my will, yet the assaults of it are so frequent, and so violent, that I am often weary of living in perpetual conflict. My corruption and weakness are experimentally known for the evil thoughts that rush upon me, take easy possession of my heart, but are with difficulty driven out again.

O that thou, the mighty God of Israel, the zealous lover of faithful souls, wouldst look down with compassion on the labors and sorrows of thy servant, and perfect and fulfil his desire of reunion with thee! Strengthen me with heavenly fortitude, lest the old man, this miserable flesh, which is not yet brought under subjection to the Spirit, should prevail and triumph over me: against him I am bound to struggle, as long as I breathe in this fallen life.

Alas! what is this life, which knows no intermission of distress and sorrow! where snares are laid, and enemies rise, both behind and before, on the right hand and on the left! While one tribulation is departing, another cometh on; and before the adversary is withdrawn from one severe conflict, he suddenly sounds a new alarm! And can a life like this, thus imbittered with distress, thus filled with corruption, and subject to such a variety of evils, be the object of desire? Can it even deserve the name of life, when it is continually teeming with plagues and pains that terminate in death? Yet it is still loved and desired; and many place their whole confidence in it, and seek their supreme happiness from it.

The world indeed, is frequently reproached for its deceitfulness and vanity; but while carnal affections govern the heart, it is not easily forsaken. It is both loved and hated by those, who have neither inclination nor power to leave it :" the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life,” being the offspring of the world, love it as their parent; but as these bring forth pain and misery, they bring forth also, in union with them, disgust and hatred of the world. But alas! while the soul is devoted to the delights of sin, the love of the world still prevails; and because she is a stranger to the joys of the Spirit, and hath neither tasted nor conceived the transcendent sweetness of communion with God, she still adheres to the world, and notwithstanding her manifold disappointments, still hopes to find pleasures hidden under thorns.

Those only who live to God in the continual exercise of faith and love, of patience, humility, resignation, and obedience, obtain the conquest of the world; and enjoy those divine comforts that are promised to every soul that forsakes all to follow Christ and those only truly discern, how grievously the lovers of the world are mistaken; and in how many various ways they are defrauded of happiness, and left destitute and wretched.

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CHAPTER XIV

The Soul seeking Repose in God.

DISCIPLE.

THY repose, O my soul, is to be found only in the supreme God, the everlasting rest and blessedness of the saints!

O most lovely, and most loving Jesus! grant me the will and power, above all created being, to rest in thee above all health and beauty, all glory and honor, all power and dignity, all knowledge and wisdom, all riches and all arts; above all promise and hope, all holy desires and actions, all gifts and graces which thou thyself canst bestow, all rapture and transport which the heart is able to receive: above angels and archangels, and all the hosts of heaven; above all that is visible and invisible; and finally above every thing, which thou, my God, art not !

For thou, O Lord God! art above all, in all perfection! Thou art most high, most powerful, most sufficient, and most full! Thou art most sweet, and most abundantly comforting! Thou art most lovely, and most loving; most noble, and most glorious ! In thee all good centres, from eternity to eternity! Therefore, whatever thou bestowest on me, that is not thyself; whatever thou revealest or promisest, while I am not permitted truly to behold and enjoy thee; is insufficient to fill the boundless desires of my soul, which, stretching beyond all creatures, and

even beyond all thy gifts, can only be satisfied in union with thy all-perfect Spirit.

Dearest Jesus, spouse of my soul, supreme source of light and love, and sovereign Lord of universal nature ! O that I had the wings of true liberty, that I might take my flight to thee, and be at rest! When will it be granted me, in silent and peaceful abstraction from all created being, to" taste and see how good” thou art, O Lord, my God! When shall I be wholly absorbed in thy fulness! When shall I lose, in the love of thee, all perception of myself; and have no sense of any being but thine !

Now I groan continually, and bear with pain the burden of my wretchedness: for innumerable evils spring up in this vale of sin and sorrow, that darken, deceive, and distress my soul; so that I can have no free access to thee, nor enjoy that ineffable communion with thee, which is the privilege and perfection of beatified spirits. O let my sighs, and the multiplied desolation which I suffer, move thee.

Holy Jesus, ineffable splendor of eternal glory, sole comfort of the wandering soul ! my heart is lifted up to thee, and without voice speaketh to thee in "groanings that cannot be uttered!" How long will my Lord delay his coming? O may he come to me, his forlorn creature, and turn my sorrow into joy! May he reach forth his Omnipotent hand, and bid the winds that howl about me, be silent; and the sea that threatens to devour me, be calm! "Come, O Lord Jesus, come quickly!" In thy absence, no day nor hour is joyful: for thou art my only joy; and without thee my table is empty. I

am a wretched prisoner in the darkness of this fallen world, bound with the chains of sin and misery till thou revivest me with thy presence, restorest me to liberty, and liftest up the light of thy reconciled countenance upon me.

Those that prefer the enjoyments of the world before thee, seek that happiness which they can never find. I will pursue no good, present or future, but thee alone, my God, my hope, and everlasting salvation nor will I cease from my importunity, till thou turnest to me again, and I hear thy blessed voice speaking within me.

Lord, I have called upon thee in my distress, and desire truly to enjoy thee, for I am prepared to renounce all things for thy sake. It is thou who hast given me both the will and the power to seek after thee: and for ever blessed be thy name, O Lord! who, in the multitude of thy tender mercies, hast shown this transcendent kindness!

What hath thy servant to say more in thy presence, but to beg, that he may humble himself exceedingly before thee, and be ever mindful of his own darkness, impurity, and malignity. There is none like unto thee in all the wonders of heaven and earth; and all that thou doest, is, like thyself, supremely good: thy judgments are true; and thy Providence governeth the whole universe, that it may finally partake of thy perfection and blessedness. Praise and glory, therefore, be unto thee, O wisdom of the Father, for ever! "Bless the Lord, all his works, in all places of his dominion: bless the Lord, my soul!"

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