y hold even one-fourth part of that same liquor which your majesty has just mentioned. To say nothing of the stuffs placed on board in the forenoon by way of ballast, and not to mention the various ales and liqueurs shipped this evening at various seaports, I have, at present, a full cargo of 'humming stuff" taken in and duly paid for at the sign of the 'Jolly Tar.' You will, therefore, please your majesty, be so good as to take the will for the deed for by no manner of means either can I or will I swallow another drop-least of all a drop of that villanous bilge-water that answers to the hail of 'Black Strap.'"

"Belay that!" interrupted Tarpaulin, astonished not more at the length of his companion's speech than at the nature of his refusal-“Belay that, you lubber !---and I say, Legs, none of your palaver! My hull is still light, although I confess you yourself seem to be a little top-heavy; and as for the matter of your share of the cargo, why rather than raise a squall I would find stowageroom for it myself, but"

"This proceeding," interposed the president, "is by no means in accordance with the terms of the mulct or sentence, which is in its nature Median, and not to be altered or recalled. The conditions we have imposed must be fulfilled to the letter, and that without a moment's hesitation-in failure of which fulfilment we decree that you do here be tied neck and heels together, and duly drowned as rebels in yon hogshead of October beer!"

"A sentence !—a sentence !—a righteous and just sentence !— a glorious decree!--a most worthy and upright, and holy condemnation!" shouted the Pest family altogether. The king elevated his forehead into innumerable wrinkles; the gouty little old man puffed like a pair of bellows; the lady of the winding sheet waved her nose to and fro; the gentleman in the cotton drawers pricked up his ears; she of the shroud gasped like a dying fish; and he of the coffin looked stiff and rolled up his eyes.

"Ugh! ugh ugh!" chuckled Tarpaulin, without heeding the general excitation, "ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh! -ugh ugh ugh!-I was saying," said he, "I was saying when Mr. King Pest poked in his marlin-spike, that as for the matter of two or three gallons more or less of Black Strap, it was a trifle to a tight sea-boat like myself not overstowed- but when it comes to

drinking the health of the Devil (whom God assoilzie) and going down upon my marrow bones to his ill-favored majesty there, whom I know, as well as I know myself to be a sinner, to be nobody in the whole world, but Tim Hurlygurly the stage-player!—— why! its quite another guess sort of a thing, and utterly and altogether past my comprehension."

He was not allowed to finish this speech in tranquillity. At the name of Tim Hurlygurly the whole assembly leaped from their seats.

"Treason!" shouted his Majesty King Pest the First.

"Treason!" said the little man with the gout.
"Treason!" screamed the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.

"Treason!" muttered the gentleman with his jaws tied up. "Treason!" growled he of the coffin.

"Treason!" treason!" shrieked her majesty of the mouth; and, seizing by the hinder part of his breeches the unfortunate Tarpaulin, who had just commenced pouring out for himself a skull of liqueur, she lifted him high into the air, and let him fall without ceremony into the huge open puncheon of his beloved ale. Bobbing up and down, for a few seconds, like an apple in a bowl of toddy, he, at length, finally disappeared amid the whirlpool of foam which, in the already effervescent liquor, his struggles easily succeeded in creating.

Not tamely, however, did the tall seaman behold the discomfiture of his companion. Jostling King Pest through the open trap, the valiant Legs slammed the door down upon him with an oath, and strode towards the centre of the room. Here tearing down the skeleton which swung over the table, he laid it about him with so much energy and good will, that, as the last glimpses of light died away within the apartment, he succeeded in knocking out the brains of the little gentleman with the gout. Rushing then with all his force against the fatal hogshead full of October ale and Hugh Tarpaulin, he rolled it over and over in an instant. Out burst a deluge of liquor so fierce-so impetuous-so overwhelming--that the room was flooded from wall to wall-the loaded table was overturned-the tressels were thrown upon their backs-the tub of punch into the fire-place—and the ladies into hysterics. Piles of death-furniture floundered about. Jugs, pitchers,

and carboys mingled promiscuously in the melée, and wicker flagons encountered desperately with bottles of junk. The man with the horrors was drowned upon the spot-the little stiff gentleman floated off in his coffin-and the victorious Legs, seizing by the waist the fat lady in the shroud, rushed out with her into the street, and made a bee-line for the "Free and Easy," followed under easy sail by the redoubtable Hugh Tarpaulin, who, having sneezed three or four times, panted and puffed after him with the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.

THREE SUNDAYS IN A WEEK.

"You hard-hearted, dunder-headed, obstinate, rusty, crusty, musty, fusty, old savage!" said I, in fancy, one afternoon, to my grand uncle Rumgudgeon-shaking my first at him in imagina tion.

Only in imagination. The fact is, some trivial discrepancy did exist, just then, between what I said and what I had not the courage to say-between what I did and what I had half a mind to do.

The old porpoise, as I opened the drawing-room door, was sitting with his feet upon the mantel-piece, and a bumper of port in his paw, making strenuous efforts to accomplish the ditty

Remplis ton verre vide!
Vide ton verre plein!

"My dear uncle," said I, closing the door gently, and approaching him with the blandest of smiles, "you are always so very kind and considerate, and have evinced your benevolence in so many-so very many ways-that-that I feel I have only to suggest this little point to you once more to make sure of your full acquiescence."

"Hem!" said he, "good boy! go on !"

"I am sure, my dearest uncle, [you confounded old rascal !] that you have no design really, seriously, to oppose my union with Kate. This is merely a joke of yours, I know-ha! ha ha!-how very pleasant you are at times."

I knew you were jesting.

Now,

"To be sure-of course! uncle, all that Kate and myself wish at present, is that you would oblige us with your advice as-as regards the time—you know, uncle—in short, when will it be most convenient for yourself, that the wedding shall-shall--come off, you know?"

"Come off, you scoundrel!-what do you mean by that?-Better wait till it goes on."

"Ha! ha! ha!-he! he

he!-hi! hi! hi!-ho! ho! ho!-

hu! hu! hu!-oh, that's good!-oh, that's capital-such a wit! But all we want just now, you know, uncle, is that you would indicate the time precisely."

"Ah!-precisely ?"

"Yes, uncle-that is, if it would be quite agreeable to yourself."

"Would'nt it answer, Bobby, if I were to leave it at random— some time within a year or so, for example?—must I say precisely?"

If you please, uncle-precisely."

"Well, then, Bobby, my boy-you're a fine fellow, aren't you? -since you will have the exact time, I'll-why I'll oblige you for once."

66

Dear uncle !"

"Hush, sir!" [drowning my voice]-"I'll oblige you for once. You shall have my consent--and the plum, we mus'nt forget the plum-let me see! when shall it be? To-day's Sunday-is'nt it? Well, then, you shall be married precisely-precisely, now mind! -when three Sundays come together in a week! Do you hear me, sir! What are you gaping at? I say, you shall have Kate and her plum when three Sundays come together in a week-but not till then-you young scapegrace--not till then, if I die for it. You know me---I'm a man of my word—now be off!" Here he swallowed his bumper of port, while I rushed from the room in despair.

A very "fine old English gentleman," was my grand-uncle Rumgudgeon, but unlike him of the song, he had his weak points. He was a little, pursy, pompous, passionate semicircular somebody, with a red nose, a thick skull, a long purse, and a strong sense of