Quic. I will tell her.

Fal. Do fo. Between nine and ten, fay'ft thou?
Quic, Eight and nine, Sir.-

Fal. Well, be gone; I will not miss her.

Quic. Peace be with you, Sir.

[Exit:

Fal. I marvel, I hear not of mafter Brook; he fent me word to flay within: I like his money well. Oh, here he comes.

Enter Ford.

Ford. Blefs you, Sir.

Fal. Now, mafter Brook, you come to know what hath pafs'd between me and Ford's wife.

Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my bufinefs.

Fal. Mafter Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour the appointed me.

Ford. And you sped, Sir?

Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, mafter Brook.

Ferd. How, Sir, did the change her determination ? Fal. No, mafter Brook; but the peaking cornuto her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual larum of jealoufy, comes me in the inftant of our encounter; after we had embrac'd, kifs'd, protefted, and as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provok'd and inftigated by his distemper, and, forfooth, to fearch his houfe for his wife's love.

Ferd. What, while you was there?

Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he fearch for you, and could not find you?

Fal. You fhall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one mistrefs Page, gives intelligence of Ford's approach, and by her invention, and Ford's wife's di ftraction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket?

Fal. Yea, a buck-bafket; ramm'd me in with foul fhirts and fmocks, focks, foul flockings, and greasy napkins; that, mafter Brook, there was the rankeft compound of villainous fmell, that ever offended noftril.

Ford.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, mafter Brook, what I have fuffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress, to carry me ~ in the name of foul cloaths to Darebet-lane ; they took me on their shoulders, met the jealous khave their matter in the door, who afk'd them once or twice what they had in their basket; I quak'd for fear, left the lunatick knave would have fearch'd it; but fate, ordaining he fhould be a cuckold, held his hand. Well, on went he for a fearch, and away went I for foul cloaths; but mark the fequel, matter Brook; I fuffer'd the pangs of three egregious deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected by a jealous rotten bell-weather; next to be compats'd like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head; and then to be ftopt in, like a trong diftillation, with ftinking cloaths that fretted in their own greafe: think of that, a man of my kidney; think of that, that am as fubject to heat as butter; a man of continual diffolution and thaw; it was a miracle to 'fcape fuffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half ftew'd in greafe, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd glowing hot, in that furge, like a horse-shoe; think of that; hiffing hot; think of that, mafter Book.

Ford. In good fadness, Sir, I am forry that for my fake you have fuffer'd all this. My fuit is then defperate; you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Malter Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thu. Her husband is this morning gone a birding; I have receiv'd from her another embally of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, mafter Brook.

Ford. 'Tis paft eight already, Sir.

Fal. Is it I will then address me to my appointment, Come to me at your convenient leifure, and you shall know how I fpeed; and the conclufion fhall be crown'd with your enjoying her; adieu, you shall have her, mafter Brook; mafter Brook, you fhall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Ford.

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I fleep? mafter Ford, awake; awake, mafter Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, mafter Ford; this 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linnen and buck-bas kets! well, I will proclaim myfelf what I am; I will now take the leacher; he is at my houfe; he cannot 'scape. me; tis impoffible, he should; he cannot creep into a half-penny parfe, nor into a pepper-box. But, left the devil that guides him fhould aid him, I will fearch.impoffible places; tho' what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be. what I would not, fhall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn-mad... [Exit.

A C T IV.

SCENE, Page's Houfe.

Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William.

Mrs. PAGE.

S he at Mr. Ford's already, think'ft thou?

Quic. Sure, he is by this, or will be prefently; but truly he is very courageous mad, about his throwing into the water; Mrs. Ford defires you to come suddenly. Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to fchool. Look, where his master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I fee. How now, Sir Hugh, no school to-day?

Enter Evans.

Eva. No; mafter Slender is let the boys leave to play. Quic. Bleffing of his heart!

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband fays, my fon profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, afk him fome queftions in his Accidence.

- VOL. I.

N

Eva.

Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your head, come. Mrs. Page. Come on, Sirrah, hold up your head; answer your mafter, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns ?

Will. Two.

Quic. Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they fay, od's nouns. · ·

Eva. Peace your tatlings. What is Fair, William? Will. Pulcher.

Quic. Poulcats? there are fairer things than poulcats, fure.

Eva, You are a very fimplicity "'oman; I pray you, peace. What is Lapis, William?

Will. A ftone.

Eva. And what is a ftone, William?

Will. A pebble.

Eva. No, it is Lapis: I pray you, remember in your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is a good William: what is he, William, that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrow'd of the pronoun, and be thus declin'd, fingulariter, nominativo, hic, hæt, hoc. Eva. Nominativo, hig, bag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, bujus: well, what is your accufative cafe? Will. Accufative, hinc.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; accufative, hung, bang, bog.

Quic. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative cafe, William?

Will. O, vocativo, O.

Eva. Remember, William, focative is caret.

Quic. And that's a good root.

Eva. 'Oman, forbear.

Mrs. Page. Peace.

Eva. What is your genitive case plural, William ?

Will. Genitive cafe?

Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive, borum, harum, borum.

Quic. 'Vengence of Giney's cafe; fie on her! never name her, child, if fhe be a whore.

Eva. For fhame, 'oman..

Quic. You do ill to teach the child fuch words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do faft enough of themselves; and to call horum; fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman art thou lunacies? haft thou no underftandings for thy cafes, and the numbers of the genders? thou art as foolish christian creatures, as I would defire. Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.

Eva. Shew me now, William, fome declenfions of your pronouns.

Will. Forfooth, I have forgot.

Eva. It is, ki, kæ, cod; if you forget your kies, your kes, and your cods, you must be preeches: go your ways and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar, than I thought he

was.

Eva. He is a good fprag memory. Farewel, Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Page. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. Get you home, boy. Come, we ftay too long.

Fal.

SCENE changes to Ford's Houfe.

M'

Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.

[Exeunt.

Iftrefs Ford, your forrow hath eaten up my fufferance; I fee, you are obfequious in your love, and I profefs requital to a hair's breadth; not only, miftrefs Ford, in the fimple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it. But are you fure of your hufband now ?

Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, fweet Sir John.

Mrs. Page. (within.) What hoa, goflip Ford! what

hoa!

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, Sir John.

[Exit Falftaff.