CHAPTER XII MARRIAGES-PURE AND MIXED A Children with their Parents at the Marriage Altar- S soon as American missionaries had secured the confidence of the Filipinos, there was a great rush of young people and old to the missionaries to be married. Methodist preachers in Manila alone married more than two thousand couples in three years-1901-3. Sometimes little children, and not infrequently grown-up children, accompanied their parents when for the first time words were spoken which made them husband and wife. In many places under Spanish rule it cost so much to have the marriage performed that a couple fond of each other would dispense with the formal requirement. Very rarely is the bride's property settled on her husband or passed to him after the death of the wife. If the husband is poor and the wife well off when they are married, so they remain, the husband acting as the administrator of her property and depending upon her liberality to supply his needs. A married woman often signs her maiden name, sometimes adding "de," her husband's surname. If she survives her husband she may MANY RELATIVES CARED FOR 125 resume her maiden name among her friends, and add "widow of" for the public. It shows how far the power of woman extends in the Philippines, that one of the Governors, on whom we called, bears the surnames of both father and mother, the latter coming last, and one must know the custom of the country or he will call a man Smith when his real name is Jones. Inquiry discovered the reason for this action; no legal document would be considered properly signed unless it bore the double name. An American unaccustomed to this practice was asked why she did not sign her mother's name. Was she ashamed of it? Or worse, was her father's name not known, and was the name used that of her mother? The double signature was adopted in many cases to avoid criticism and to leave no doubt in the minds of those who were honestly perplexed. A newly married couple seldom begin housekeeping alone. Few couples live alone. If they do not remain with the wife's parents, probably the parents of both the wife and the husband will come to live with them, while brothers and sisters and cousins and other relatives, to the third and fourth degree, join the new household. This is true when the husband is an European or an American as well as when he is a native. When one calls upon an official he frequently sees four or five or six or more men and women in addition to the regular family. Sometimes it is difficult to tell which are pensioners. Where family cares permit, the wife is often active in the business which bears her husband's name. If he is busy in one part of the city, she may superintend the workmen engaged in the store or office in another part of the town. I have in mind one family of considerable wealth where the wife pays the two or three hundred workmen every week; not because she owns the property exclusively, but because it is considered proper for her to do so, and it is her contribution to the management of the firm. Among no other people of the East, it is said by those who have traveled extensively, is the position of woman so high as in the Philippines. Marriage between Spaniards and native women were not infrequent formerly, and are still in vogue. A number of Americans have married Filipina women; and, as one of our hosts was of that number, it may seem ungracious to criticise the custom. But it is difficult, as Foreman said in his interesting volume on the Philippines, when writing of mixed marriages between Spaniards and Filipinos, "to apprehend an alliance so incongruous, there being no affinity of ideas, and the only condition in common is that they are both human beings professing Christianity." Foreman adds: "The European husband is either drawn toward the level of the native by this heterogeneous relationship, or, in despair of remedying the error of a passing passion, he practically ignores his wife in his own social connections. Each forms, then, a distinct circle of friends of his, or her, own selection, whilst the woman is refractory to mental improvement, and in manners is but slightly raised above her own class by European influence and contact. There are some exceptions, but I have frequently observed in the houses of Europeans married to native women in the provinces, that the wives take up their chief abode in the kitchen, and are only seen by the visitor when some domestic duty requires them to move about the house. Familiarity breeds contempt, and these THE QUERIDA SYSTEM 127 mésalliances diminish the dignity of the superior race by reducing the birth origin of both races to a common level in their children." We saw in a southern city a discharged soldier who has learned more about the rights of Filipino women since he became the husband of one of them than he had known before. She had before marriage a considerable amount of property. She had been his wife for a year or two, and still owned the property. To his relatives and friends he speaks of "my house and lot," and "my summer home." Those who know the facts say that he supports himself by running an American saloon, of which he is the real proprietor; but the house and lot, the summer home, and other property to which he lays claim are in the wife's name, and will remain there as long as she lives and after her death they will go to her relatives. The American members of the Philippine Commission have set the stamp of their disapproval upon the querida system of the East-a European or American man living with a native woman without a marriage ceremony. While they do not encourage mixed marriages, they feel that even these are better than the evil practice which helped to make the name "European" offensive in the Philippines. Frequently a Spaniard, soldier or civilian, when he returned home would leave his common-law wife with a little family to support. "We do not mean to have America suffer a similar reproach," said Governor Taft. "Our attitude is this: When it is known that an American employee of the Government is living with a native woman, he is told to bring a marriage certificate or present his resignation. A soldier found deserting his native wife was taken from the ship in the harbor on which he was starting for the Homeland and forced to support her." To show how far the querida system is carried in the East, in Civil as well as in Military life, I was told of an English gentleman with a large business in a Chinese city who sent for his nephew, a graduate from one of the English universities, to enter his employ. As soon as he introduced him to the routine of the office, he said: so. "There is one other subject to which I wish to refer. You are a moral young man, and I wish you to remain As soon as you can, select a young Chinese woman as your friend, and then keep away from all houses and places which destroy the vitality as well as the morality of so many young Englishmen." "I came from England to enter your firm; but if this is the standard of morality which prevails among the leading business men in this city, I am going home." And he sailed for England on the next steamer. The Philippines need more men with the spirit of this young Englishman, willing to fight for the flag or to serve their country in civil life, and also willing to plant their heels firmly upon immorality under whatever guise it is presented. There are many men in the Army and Civil employment having the spirit of the constabulary captain who said to me with an air of manliness: "I expect my wife from the States soon, and I want to meet her without a blush.” |