A LAWYERS' LAST STAGE. A Cornish clergyman having a dispute concerning several shares in different mines, found it necessary to send for a London Himb of the law to have some conversation. with the witnesses, examine the title deeds, view the premises, &c. The divine very soon found that his legal assistant was as great a scoundrel as ever was struck off the rolls. However as he tho't his knowlodge might be useful, he shewed him his papers, took him to compare his survey's drawing with the situation of the pits, &c. When in one of these excursions the professional gentleman was descending a deep shaft by means of a rope which he held tight in his hand, he called out to the parson who stood at the top, Doctor, as you have not confined y your studies to Geography, but know all things from the surface to the centre, pray how far is it from this pit to that in the infernal regions ?'--'I cannot exactly ascertain the dis tance,' replied the divine but let 30 your hold and you'll be there in a minute. the poor monk with a blunt razor, aid water scarcely warm. Under these circumstances, it was impossible the operation could be well performed. The barber scratched and cut the poor victim, who sat with tears in his eyes, longing to be set at liberty. In the mean time, a cat and a monkey making a noise together, at the other side of the room, the barber called to know what was the matter. 'O replied the monk, it is only the monkey shaving the catpour l'amour de Dieu.' SIR GODFREY KNELLER. Kneller was a man to be tickled with flattery. He was very coretous, but then he was very vain, and a great glutton. Old Tonson the bookseller, got many pictures from him by playing these passions against the other. He would tell Kneller he was the greatest master that ever was, and send him every now and then a haunch of venison and dozens of clarst. "O`my God! said he once to Vandergucht, “this old Jacob loves me; he is a very good man: you see he loves me, for he sends me good things: the venison was fat!' Kneller would say to Cock, the auctioneer, and the Christie of his age, 'By G-d, I love you, Mr. Cock, and I will do you good bur you must do something for me 100, Mr. Cock: one hand can wash the face, bur two hands wash one another. If you would be tickled, tickle first, seems to have been the maxim of sir Godfrey; or, according to the Latin adage manus manum fricat-put water in the pump! LADY'S MISCELLANY NEW-YORK, September 26, 1812. "Be it our task. To note the passing tidings of the times The City Inspector reports the death of 49 persons in this city and at Potter's Field, from the 12th to the 19th of Sep tember. FIRES. On Wednesday evening, about 8 o'clock a fire broke out at Brooklyn in B. Smith's Stable, situated near the old Ferry, east side of Main street, which consumed the building where it originated together with Charles Hewlett's grocery store, J Hicks, and Van Master's Stables and the large house, known by the name of the Corpor ation Building We are happy to learn that most of the property was saved, and great credit is due to the extraordinary exertions of the firemen and citizens, for getting the fire under with so little loss of property, which at one period threatened destruction to near half the village. A Fire broke out in the loft af a stable in Høster street next to the corner of the Bowery, about 9 o clock on Tuesday evening, which entirely consumed the same, without any other damage. Melancholy accident.-On Thursday the 17th inst. the sloop Defiance, capt. Porter, returning from Baker's Island deeply laden with ballast and a heavy sea running. suddenly sunk between Eagle Island and Bowditch's ledge, and four persons were unfortunately drown. ed, viz A stranger of genteel appear. ance, about 30 years of age, whose name we understand is Read, from Newsalem, Mass, said to have been a school. master; he came to this town a few days since, Lad been unweil, and took a passage in the above sloop to Bake 's Island, supposing i' might be a benefit to his health- Mr James Pickering of this town formerly of Newmarket N... aged 21--Mr. Henry Brown a foreign. er, aged 26-and Mr. Samuel Moulton of Moultonborough, NH. aged 27Capt Porter and M, Nathan Fish sav. ed themselves on a plank, and after be ing in the water four hours, drifted on the north shore, being almost exhausted Neither of the persons drowned were seen after the sloop went down. The British ship Quebec, with a val. uable cargo from Jamaica to England, prize to the Saratoga privateer, passed by this city on Wednesday last, for Quar antine. 45555555555555SSSS✈ At Brownstown, of his wounds, Henry On Thursday last of a lingering ill. ness, Mrs Mary Higbie, widow of capt, C Higbie. On the 16th inst. after a lingering illneis at Courtland town, Mr. Charles Ramsay, only son of John Ramsay, esq . So, ow exquishe will be my satisfacuon in labouring to maintain him! The governors saw several objections to this plan which had ne ver entered into the mind of Maria, they rejected the idea of her being a servant, but complied with that part of her request, which asked permission to see him; and, having consulted the medical attendants of the house, an order, was made that she should be ad mitt: during two nous every moning and evening to see Allanby Broken wo ds and inarticu late eniotions were all the thanks Maia could give for this unexpect ed indulgence. "It will be a da y with us," said the president, as the friends of your poor father, to provide for the future support of his daughter."-Maria urged that she meant to provide for her self and child by her manual industry, and should be happy if in fu fiin: the duties of a mother, s e could make some amenus for having viola ed those ofthe daugh ter. The president now pressed her to receive some temporary assistance till she could act for herself; but Maria declined the kind ness, urging that she had already received relief from an amiabic female, which she had accepted because she would not heart a benevoi nt heart by a refusil, and that henceforth she would posse>s no other portion but her own industry. She then curtsied to the genuemen, and withdrew, leaving them all deeply impresed by her relation, and ready at any future time to carry their good wishes into effect, when the strong impression made by meeting her father in the forest should have been weakened by time and occupation. From the board-room Maria hastened to put in force the indulgence just obtained, and was immediately conducted to Allanby's ced He was standing with his back to the door, drawing, with a piece of black charcoal, a coin on the wall, on which he wrote the na ne of Maria-A heavy sigh, which involuntarily escaped her, made him turn round, and at sight of her he started, and looked with the same wildness he had done in the forest. Alter e arding her for a few moments, he resumed his employment, while Maria, overcome by her feelings, threw hers if on his bed, and burst into tears. Seeing her cry, he patted her cheek, as he had done before, and saying Poor thing,' fixed his eye inquisively on her countenance, then turning from he, as she pressed his hands to her lips, he mutered to himself, Dead for all that! In a few seconds, he asked her to take a walk with him, to see his daughter's grave : taking her under his arm he led her to the garden, and smiled as if he felt a secret satisfaction which he could not communicate. At the end of he garden walk, he suddenly stopped, and began to sing that beautiful air of Hander's, l'ears such as tender fathers shed,' which Maria had often en. raptured him with He ceased at the end of the first line, and saving he could not proceed. asked her to finish it. With a sorro +ing heart she took up that part that remained, and when she had done, he desired her to repeat the song again. He then made her repeat the words, the last line of which ran, For joy to think when I am dead, My son will have mankind his friend. Not my son' cried Allanby, but my girl will have mankind her friend!-This was the way I once sang it to my daughter. Oh! she sung it so sweetly-but she sings now in hea en Come, let us go look for her grave! He then ran vacantly about the garden, and retur ning to her, asked if she would leave him' Maria assured him she would not, and he looked de. lighted. In a moment after, he stroked her cheek, and looking earnestly at her, "Oh what a bloom she had but you are pale, very pale !-Sing again; once more the Tears. Maria complied, and when she had finished his only remarks were, She sang better than you, but she is gone! He then relapsed into a total indifference to every thing around him, and again the newly formed hopes of Maria vanished. The keeper now informing her it was time to depart. she seized her father's hand, and wishing Gd might bless him. rose part. · de Allanby, on seeing the otioned to go, ran after her as fast as his ions would permit, exclaiming, Oh! do not go, do not leave me! Maria fel great pleasure at the comfort her presence seemed to give him, and before he could make up to detain her by force, she ran through the house, and the great door was closed upon her. As Maria quitted the building she looked up, while the mingled sounds of lunatic grief and joy saluted her ears, and though on the melancholy ab de of her father, placed there by his ove fondness for an errant and vadutiful daughter. The recollection was almost too much for her, till the pleasure which rep ntance and his amendment might afford, balanced the dreadful retrospect, and by the time she had arrived at Lucy's door, the sad composure of her mind was restored. Her countenance wore a less dejected aspect than on her setting out, and so much was she absorbed in the pleasing anticipation of her father's convalescence, that she scarcely returned the carasses of her child. I have seen him!' she exclaimed, as she turned to Lucy, and he almost knew me !-Soon he will quite know me; then will he learn all, and I shall be happy!" Lucy at first was rather alarmed for her intellects, till Maria explained her plans and hopes, which Lucy had too much huma. nity to discourage. But now." said Maria, let us consult upon my future means of gaining a livelihood;' and finding that Lucy kept a day school, and took in shawi work, a considerable manufacture for which was carried on in the town, it was agreed that she should procure some of that kind of work for Maria, and that a small back room in the little dwelling should be fitted up for her use. When the governors returned home, they were cautious of mentioning the penitent sinner as a subject of praise in their own families, and gave short evasive answers to the enquiries that were made there. Not so Mr Arnold, who thought it a justice due to his daugh es sympathy to imform her of what had transpired at the board. but from which he was just then prevented from a large party being at dinner. During din ner a lady asked Amelia whom she intended for her bride-maids. This awakened a painful recollection in her mind, for it had been time back agreed between her and Maria, that whoever should be first married, was to have the other for bride-maid. It was some time before Amelia could trust her voice to answer the question. I shall have no one but my sis care and fondness had never equall ed that of Allanby; nor had his daughter attained to perfection with the beauty, the accomplishments, and esteem, which had marked Maria; yet Amélia was going to aggrandize his family, and Maria had dis raced her's: she was happy, Maria miserable : he was in affluence, Allanby in a mad house! Amelia followed her father, and after he had vented his tea's and thanksgivings for the happier s'ave of his family, Amelia heard his description of Maria's narration before the governors. Amelia urged to her father, that he must be Maria's advocate with the world; and wherever he heard her name mentioned, he ought to avow the poor penitent's reformation and contrition. You speak from the warmth of youth,' replied her father; but experience will teach you that no one can with impunity contravene the opinions of the world.' The world.' replied Amelia, is will ing to do the poor Maria justice, if, while you descant on the enor mity of her crime, you also relate the deep sense she en ertains of it, and the excellence of her present intentions, Suppose the world should think you too lenient a ter,' replied Amelia. I wish judge, will not the app:obation of to have no other now' Then, looking at her father, she saw his eyes full of tears, which he further concealed by quitting the room. Mr. Arnold was a parent, and so was Allanby; but his paternal your own conscience be an ample consolation for such a condemna tion Enough, enough cried Mr Arnold, who had a strong conviction that Amelia was right; 'what would the world say if it were to hear you lecturing your |