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Remember well this sterling rule,
The spendthrift is not more a fool,
Than he, by whose usurious theft,
The prodigal's of lands bereft.

One spends as dross, till bow'd by want's fell

rod:

T'other no duty owns. His gold his god.

L'ENVOY OF THE POET.

Temper instruction, so that youth may learn What constitutes of wealth the sterling bliss. Teach him, alike the two extremes to spurn : For he who treads the middle path can't miss.

THE POET'S CHORUS TO FOOLS.

Come, trim the boat, row on each Rara Avis, Crowds flock to man my Stultifera Navis.

Multa petentibus

Desunt multa. Bene est cui Deus obtulit

Parca quod satis est manu.

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For one man, out of his own skin,
To frisk, and whip another's sin :
As pedants out of school boys' breeches

Do claw and curry their own itches.

To ye, starch'd dames, whose birchen trade is
The art of breaking in young ladies.
Of ye, in sooth, I needs must chatter;
For ye know nothing of the matter *.

* There is scarcely any set of fools that call more loudly for the lash of satire, than these guardians of the rising generation. That schools are of utility, is beyond all doubt: but sorry am I to say, that they are too frequently converted into abuses. It hath very frequently come within mine own knowledge, to witness the conduct of boarding-school misses, when they have attained the ages of fourteen and fifteen: at such times I have beheld them enter the presence of the lady governess, hanging

their heads, as Mrs. Cowley very characteristically observes, like dead partridges. Speak to them in French, and they are sure to reply in English. Request to hear some specimen of their performance on the piano forte, and you may then set it down for granted, that all the powers of affectation will be called forth, in order to plead a silly excuse. Follow them from the august presence of madam, to the interior of their own chambers, and there you will find all the little arts of petty intrigue and coquettish blandishments practised. In short, these misses are complete masqueraders, blushing at things they should not comprehend, and facing those faults with the most daring effrontery, which they should feel shame in owning. Such are, however, the effects resulting from the present system of education: whereas we never scarcely see a school-girl enter a room with noble confidence, and reply with firm, yet modest diffidence, to a question proposed. Had I a daughter, she should not remain at one of these seminaries, after the attainment of her tenth year; for, until that period, the childish imagination wantons with playful frivolity; it resists the curb of restraint, as far as relates to the operations of the mind, solely engrossed by the trifling gratifications, resulting from play and baubles. In short, till that period, all is well: nor would it be amiss if our legislature, like that of ancient Athens, was to establish public seminaries for the youth of both sexes, where every moral and religious duty was nourished and brought to perfection; and not nipped in the bud by starched, unnecesforms.

Instead of mentally advancing,

Your miss's first grand object's dancing*;
By which one truth I must reveal is,
Empty's the head, as light the heel is †.

If the mind cannot elicit one way, it certainly will another: and thence we find, that among the many, some will propagate bad, and others, good. But instead of watching these several propensities which should constitute the leading principle of tutors, they, on the contrary, attend to superface only; which is a sufficient reason why the propensity to evil so much overbalances the practice of good.

* To such an extravagant pitch has this accomplishment arrived, that, instead of the mere steps which formerly constituted its excellence, being deemed sufficient for the ball-room, every little miss must now emulate the Opera House ladies, whose manners, a few years since, excited such disgust in the eyes of the lawn sleeved right reverends of the woolpack: and, indeed, we may exclaim with the Roman, in speaking of the conduct of our misses in this particular:

Saltabat melius quam necesse est proba.

↑ To hear the battle of Prague most unmercifully crucified by one of these expert daughters of Euterpe, who is not only devoid of taste but ears, hath frequently been the lot of the writer, whose feelings can only be conceived by those that have suffered a similar torture. Such I conceive to be one of the insufferable miseries of human life.

Next, to ensure the brilliant sortie,
Miss strikes the grand piano forté ;
Knows lessons, airs, duets, in plenty,
And plays the octave of Clementi.
And, as the body's decoration
Employs one half of this great nation,
Miss to that science is inducted,
And in each petty art instructed.

The jabb'ring of ill spoken French is
The learning of our pretty wenches,
With now and then Italian smatter,
Ipoco, Signor, and such matter;
And, as from innocence they wander,
With brazen mask, hear double entendre.
The modest blush must be translated;
And miss's front with brass be plated.

Wisdom by folly's thus perverted,
And ev'ry moral controverted :

The sound, the sense: the heel the head is :

Feather the one; the other lead is :

Flightiness, wit:

modesty, primness:

Study romance

and science, dimness;

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