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induced thus to soar upon hot-water done. Political economy is, threewings. The engineer protests, by all fourths of it, utter nonsense, or utter the names of philosophy, that a blow.. ignorance, made presumptuous by the ing up is utterly impossible. But in use of high-sounding words, and exthe modern philosophy, the most im- clusive pretensions; nothing, too, can possible things have come to pass so be less wise than the attempt to overoften, that a man attached to his own throw an established manufacture for vertebræ may well be allowed to in the sake of making the experiment of dulge a little scepticism.
an unestablished one, or trying how The machine will never be entitled far we may beat the French in silks to popularity, until the chance of and gloves, by allowing the British blowing up is entirely out of the ques- artizans of both to try how long they tion; which it can scarcely be, while could live without eating. But where the steam-engine forms a part of the we obtain a new power over nature, Carriage. It must be detached, and we have a new source of national at some distance from the carriage, wealth ; and no matter what it may and be not a steam-coach, but a steam- displace for the moment, we are sure "horse. Then, though our steed be that it will replace the loss by ten blown, we shall not be in the same times, or a thousand times, the gain. condition, which, though perhaps easi- The spinnir:g-jennies and power-looms ly cured in his system of pipes, boilers, have increased the weavers of Engand valves, would defy the pharmaco- land from 100,000 to nearly three milpæia in ours. And to this construc. lions ! The steam-boats have pertion the machine will naturally come, haps not thrown a single ship out of and we shall have steam-teams for employment, while they have invans, and waggons; steam-sets for creased the general tonnage, and renmail coaches, and single horse powers dered the intercourse of England with of any shape, size, or colour, necessary her dependencies and the Continent a for the generation of the Tilburies. matter of certainty. If the steam.
The comforts and conveniencies of carriage can be made general, its efthis contrivance will be universal and fects will be more important to us obvious. Gentlemen nice about match. than even those of the steam-boat, as ing their horses, will have nothing to being applicable to a greater variety do but send their own pattern to the of purposes, more easy of employjapanner, and they may have any co- ment, and involving less expense. lour from scarlet to sky-blue. Awk- The result on travelling would be proward whips will drive like the choicest bably ten passengers on the road for artists of Cambridge, without any one; an obvious benefit to the trusts, more trouble than that of holding a to the innkeepers and the towns; the rudder. The peculiar genus described increased cheapness and facility of in the advertisements, as “ timid gen- conveying every kind of produce, tlemen, that love an easy-going cob, domestic, commercial, and agricultender in the mouth, and pacing like tural. We should have flocks and a lady,” may have one that will no herds carried up to our markets withmore start or fling out than a Bath out the present delay, expense, and chair; and the romantic, the whole exhaustion of the animals. Corn, romance of guiding fiery chargers by coals, all the necessaries and coma pin in the forehead, will be realized forts of cities, would be brought with in perfection, at the rate of sixpence rapidity and ease by steam waggons, a-soar! But if we can conceive this and exchanged with the country for use of steam to be brought to that the merchandize that now must go practical excellence which will allow by the slow and expensive passage of of its general employment, the effects canals and the coast. The intercourse must be curious, and nationally bene- from corner to corner of England ficial in a very high degree. Its evils would probably be increased in all its to the horse trade, or the travelling details tenfold or fiftyfold, within a trade, or the oat trade, it must be idle few years ; and there would be no asto set in competition with any one of signable limit to its increase, except its advantages. Those advantages, too, the surcharge of every corner with the will not be so rapid, that time will not produce of every other-a period bebe given for things to find their level, yond calculation. and thus the least possible cvil be The horse-breeders would possibly feel the invention, in the partial decay from the state of the weather, that of their trade for horses for the road. time should be made the most of. It But the decay on the whole might be . would do it better and more regularly. but trifling; with the general inter- The Steam-horse would not be sick, course of the island, and the conse- it would not lose a shoe, nor run lame, quent general cheapness of living, nor require food through the winter. men would have more money to lay Every operation of the farm, from the out on luxuries, and a fine horse will first turning up of the ground to the be a luxury to the end of time. Thou- harvest-home, might be intrusted to sands would keep horses for one that Steam in one shape or other of carriage, keeps them now. The consumption and this exemplary drudge would work of provender for these animals might wonders in all. In the forest it would fall off for a little while; but if the plant, cut down, and carry home the farmer sowed less oats, he would have tree; it would drag the boat against but the more room to sow wheat; the the river, or along the canal ; it would profits would be the same, and the rear chickens and carry them to mare public would be possessed of its food ket, with half the village on its back ; at a cheaper rate. Besides, in the it would stack the corn, and thrash it, operations of agriculture, the horse is and bake it, and carry it in fresh loaves at present a chief source of expense from Bristol to London between breakthe saving of that expense would be a fast and dinner. All the old miracles fortune to the farmer. The Steam- of locomotion, the arrow of Abaris, horse, or plough, would besides be a the car of Phaeton, the flying serpents better servant; it would not be tired, of Triptolemus, the gryphons of the but would work as well by night as Arab magicians, and the wishing-cap by day, and perhaps with the usual of Fortunatus, will be tardy and trisuperiority of mechanism over animal fling to the Steam-horse. Pegasus power. It would thus do twice, or himself never soared higher flights, ten times, the work, in a brief period, nor the Python was more irresistible. when it was of the utmost importance,
HEALTH AND LONGEVITY.
LET no man abuse the Doctors, either safe. But thirdly, making use of the of Religion or Medicine. We love the common distinction of soul and body, healing tribe, because we love our own and giving the usual superiority to the souls and our own bodies. The soul former, still we need not prefer the being considered, on the whole, a su- parson to the physician. And that for perior article to the body, it might be many reasons. First, we know—men said that we ought to prefer a parson in general we mean-more of our own to a physician. But no such inference souls than wedoofour own bodies and can be logically drawn from such pre- therefore cannot surrender our judge mises. For, in the first place, we do ment so entirely to the one professional not positively know that the soul is a man in black as to the other. Secondsuperior article to the body. That is a ly, the soul is often sick and sore mere conjecture. Secondly, we do not sadly out of sorts—without our being positively know that the soul is a dif- aware of it—whereas no ailment assails ferent article from the body. Here the body without our shrewdly suswe are-soul and body it may be-or pecting that something is amiss. For merely a Something which should in önce, therefore, that we call in a par. our humility be nameless—a something son, professionally, we send twenty which thinks, feels, fears, loves, hates, times for a physician. Who ever heard, goes mad, and-dies; and that is all except in extreme cases, of knocking we know about it, whether we choose up a parson, out of his warm bed at to call ourselves Materialists or Imma- midnight, to visit a sick patient ? terialists. As long as we believe that Thirdly, the spiritual Pharmacopeia we are the children of God, and strive is very meagre. The ablest practition, 40 act accordingly, in that creed we are er--can he minister to a mind disea
* Sure Methods of Improving Health, and Prolonging Life, &c. By a Physi. cian. London,-Simpkin and Marshall, &c. 1827.
sed? He may feel our pulse-look wise and penitentially sensible of its sins, -order conscience a purge and de- without wishing to obtrude its sufa part. But we, the poor miserable sinner, ferings on the notice of all eyes, toss on our bed, give no sign, and die. and a careless exterior may conceal Not a word moreon that point. Fourth- a serious habit of inward self-medily, bad as the diseases of the soul are tation. That portion of tủe life of very bad indeed-quite shocking they almost every individual that is visiseldom prove fatal ; when they do, the ble and audible to the public eye patient lingers for a long time with a and ear, is necessarily the least spirirueful countenance-and seems nein tua!; and we can learn little or nother the better nor the worse of all thing of any man till we have been ghostly prescriptions. Nay, what with him in his familiar privacy, and more common than a hoary-headed seen something of the chosen chanhale sinner of fourscore ? But the dis- nels in which his thoughts and feeleases of the body, though sometimes ings love to travel, when his hearth mild and tedious, have a manifest ten- is lighted and his house hushed. dency towards death, and therefore we What false judgments does even the take the alarm speedily, and long for religious world pass, -and how slowthe face of the physician. Fifthly, ly does it rescind or revoke them, even the diseases of the soul yield intensest on new and full evidence, clear as the pleasure-deny it not-and the active light of day! Charity is indeed then sinner laughs the praying and preach- an angel, when she searches for, and ing parson to scorn. But the diseases sees, and believes, in the religion that of the body twitch and twinge, and lies hidden in almost all human hearts pinch, and tear, and squeeze, and -unrepelled and unprovoked by diffestifle, and suffocate, and we cry out rences in faith, creed, profession, purwith a loud voice to be released from suits, manners, or appearances, and the stake in fire or flood.
still inspired in all her judgments of For these, and a thousand other rea- other human beings, by that meek yet sons, we are inclined, contrary to what lofty spirit of which the word “Chrismight have been expected of us, to tian” expresses the sacred significaprefer the physician to the parson. tion. Still the parson is dear to us-exceed- We would almost venture to say, ingly dear. We have a most particuthat many are too anxious about lar esteem for him in pulpit and in the state of their souls, their anxiety parlour-in the pit of the General Ase making them selfish in all their relisembly, or of the theatre-in peace or gion. They deliver their consciences polemics-exhausting topics or teinds up into some saintly keeping, that it -battling for the Bible—or against may be safe, and a look or a whisper the Apocrypha. As a bottle-companion from the mortal creature in whom they
a friend-nay, a brother, we love have put their trust, disturbs their him ; but when anything goes very serenity, and throws them before him wrong with oursoul —when the primce almost
knees. There viæ are obstructed-when we shiver is much Popery in our Protestant in an ague-or in the delirium of fever, land; and the days are not yet gone
see more devils than vast hell can by of auricular confession. Perhaps hold,"--would you believe it?--wegive the people who speak least of their the servant orders to tell the minister faith, have it deepest and most steadthat we are not at home, hide our beads fast,--preserving its sanctity unprobelow the bed-clothes, and remember faned by unseasonable colloquies -indistinctly what Shakspeare says- avowing it on the Sabbath before man “ Therein the patient must minister to
as well as God in public worship, himself.”
and God alone every morning and
every evening in the private chamber We have scarcely been able to bring of their own thoughts. Yet may they ourselves to believe, that human beings be pronounced, by the rash judgments are in general indifferent about the of the righteous overmuch, indifferent state either of their bodies or of their about the state of their souls ! souls. It is the high-flown fashion- Just so with that which we call our able doctrine, however, at present, bodies. It is not possible that rational both in the Religious and Medical beings can be utterly careless about World. The soul may be sorrowfully the health of their bodies any more VOL. XXIII.
than of their souls. We all fear to sudden off-taking of hats, and the die,--and at the slightest tap from breaking up of anything but a convi. the finger of Death at the door of our vial party, all discussing your characearthly tabernacle, how we hurry to ter, and wondering if you have died barricado it, and to fasten all the bolts rich or poor. Every smile on his face and bars! True, that when that dis. is worth a fee, and you set death and turber of all our peace is thought to be the devil at defiance, when he asks you at a distance, we forget how suddenly“ if you do not think the last an admi. be can be with us, and through what a rable Noctes, and Murray inimitable small cranny he can creep in! But in Pong Wong ?” in this case, too, we may be too anxious The Second Kind is your Old Wo. about this body of ours, and look now man. A pleasing imbecility reigns over in the same sort of selfish superstition face and figure-his speech is a trefoil towards the physician, as we did then of terror, stutter, and lisp; and he towards the priest,-beseeching and smiles so sweetly, that you pluck up imploring him to keep our body from courage to believe that you cannot posdisease, -terrified at the thought of sibly be near the last agonies. His its ceasing to breathe, and dropping sole anxiety is about your bowels-he and decaying into dust.
beseeches you to keep quiet-adminis. It is our belief, then, that people ters his pill tells you not to allow are, for the most part, far from being yourself to be flurried--and as he trips indifferent aboutthe state either of their bustling away, and keeps talking to souls or bodies, although they are too himself, and your housekeeper, all the often betrayed into fits of strange for- way down stairs, and out of the street. getfulness of the true interests of both, door, you begin cautiously to put first and into the adoption of the worst one leg out of the bed, and then anpossible means for preserving their other, and having found your breeches well-being; and this, we hope, will secreted in your drawers, you apparel not be considered too serious matter yourself in warm winter raiment, or. for an introduction to an article which der dinner, and in a few hours are is intended to be, on the whole, of a sitting with a friend, with your feet facetious character--for mirth may be on the fender, and on your right hand moral, and laughter as salutary as a jug of hot toddy, a cheerful and
chatty convalescent. We have been very fortunate in our The Third Sort is your Quack-and physicians-that is to say, we have from him Heaven preserve all the subhad them of all the Three Kinds and scribers to this Magazine ! Hard-heartyet are alive, and supped at Ambrose's ed, coarse, vulgar, greedy, profligate, on Thursday. First, we have had, and and unprincipled, in his unfearing ighave now, your man of education- norance, you see at once that he is the your scholar and your gentleman active partner in the firm of Mors, who is as open, honest, and sincere at Morbus, and Co. He treats you as if your bedside, as at your dinner-table, you were a horse, and drenches you and who would be disinterestedly sorry with drugs to death. Hence so many were you, in spite of his efforts to de- widows left with eight children-so tain you here, to go to another and
many men six feet hig
day, better world. Experience has strength and only six feet long on the Saturened and refined his sagacity into an day following-letters announcing the instinct; and what skill and knowledge death of contributors on the eves of can do, he will do for us, should we, articles_in place of marriage-sheets, which
may be highly probable, die to- funeral-shrouds-instead of trips to
He is no monger of myste- the Trossachs in jaunting cars, rattling rious monosyllables-no silent head- along eight miles an hour, journeys to shaker--no appalling mute, with one the place of interment in the Grey fearful fore-finger on your pulse, and Friars and the West Kirk churchyard, two horrid eyes fixed on your face, till in a vehicle that, although drawn by you are faini with the ticking of that six horses, goes nodding on at a snail's accursed chronometer in your swim- pace, and lands you in the dirt at last. ming brain-while
The quack attends impatiently the visions of undertakers, saulies, a hearse, patient corpse, in his own chariot, and and many mourning couches-a deep- then drives off to give the coup-dedug wet hole, much shovelling, the grace to another incumbent.
The house visited by the true phy- though two children are perhaps born sician is known from the aspect of to you in three years--your family its inmates—especially the children. never increases; and by the time that There is an airy freedom in the fi- you and your wife are fifty, looking gures of the family; a clear-skinned dismally about the house, you see complexion of face, inclining to pinki- yourselves to be childless, and feel ness ; a laughing lustre of lip and eye, yourselves to be old people. set off by the glitter of well-brushed There is, it must be confessed, hair; a taking tidiness about the dress something exceedingly perplexing in of the creatures, as if health and hap- the medical profession. We are subpiness had stood behind them at the ject to a vast variety of diseases; and mirror. This you seldom or never physicians, in order to cure them, meet with in a house annoyed by the study the art or science of medicine. Old Woman, or cursed by the Quack. By dint of extraordinary natural sagaNot that the Old Woman often does city, great practice and experience, a much serious mischief to the bairns; physician becomes so wise in the that is to say, she seldom either kills knowledge of all diseases, and antie: them outright (though such things oc- dotes to death, that he acquires the casionally happen) or for life ruins character of a life-preserver. You see their constitution. But then she him driving about with supplies of teaches them to have recourse, on the health in his carriage, just like that most insignificant occasions, to small neat cart-waggon with its Peebles ale, bottles and boxes, so that not the dropping comfort at every door. He slightest touch of a sore throat, a dies; and in some half-dozen years or headach, or a colic, is suffered to go so, a physician whom he had long off of its own accord, but must be kept down, lifts up his now undepresejected by drop or pill; while the sed head, and gets into prodigious amiable patient appears with a yard of practice. He adopts a system diame. flannel round her pretty throat, or a trically opposite to that of his predecap on her curly head, and is treat- cessor. That which the one said would ed perhaps for a whole week as a va kill, the other says will cure. Now, letudinarian. The Old Woman fre- the question to be answered is, which quently infects both parents with of these two men is the murderer ? If her own fiddle-faddle, and when there it indeed be within the power of meis unfortunately no illness of any dical treatment to put a patient to kind in their own families, they are death, a hot close room, with a huge like people appointed to a Dispensary, fire and nailed windows, and a cool and prescribe for all the paupers about airy room with no fire at all, and wina the place. We know not how it is, dows frequently open, cannot be equal-, but were we a young man, we should ly good for a small child, with its face not-we could not we would not one blotch of small-pox. So on with marry out of a family attended by an all other complaints under the sun, Old Woman. Certain habits are dis- moon, and stars. Fathers and mothers gusting; and from young women, fall down on their knees before physiwhose health has been under the care cians, blessing them for having, unof old women, that sensitive and in- der God, rescued a beloved child from stinctive delicacy is not to be expected, the tomb; while, had they known the which guards wedded life from all truth, as it is expounded by a future offence of coarseness, and preserves to Hippocrates, they would have scream, the husband's eyes the matron-wife ed him off the premises as an assassin. pure and beautiful as the virgin-mis- Yet the bills of mortality preserve a
wonderfully nice equilibrium; and it As for the Quack, when he has faire would almost seem that both Life and. ly established himself in a house-fare- Death laugh at the doctors. A patient well, domestic peace ! He is a paid and labouring under a hereditary disease, privileged murderer. - All your family, say a cancer in the stomach, like Naeven when at their highest health, are poleon-or gout in the toe, like Chris, more or less sick ; when allowed to be topher North—is puzzled, when told ill, they are at death's door ; and when that at the very fewest, his father, they die, it is in some startling and grandfather, and great grandfather, shocking manner, enough to break have been murdered, and that he must your heart and turn your brain. Al submit to a new regimen, the result of