rect such passages as you think wrong, and expunge such old fashioned phrases as he may have made use of, and which you dislike. This will shew your master that you are a clever fellow, and besides, two heads are better than one. Indeed it is fifty to one, that your master is a very stupid animal, and of course he must be much obliged to you for polishing his works, and making them common grammar, or common sense. If your master sends you with a card to any person of which you are desired to bring the answer, by no means go with it yourself, but send either a porter* or your master's 66 cited, or as he himself expressed it, having "felt a commotion" whilst witnessing the performance of Mrs. Siddons in the character of Isabella, a delineation which after some hesitation, when the curtain dropped, he was inclined to think was a tragic not a comic one),—that his powers were equal to the preparation of a petition for the appointment of a factor. His clerk was summoned, pens, ink, and paper, placed before him, and the process of "dictation" commenced."Unto the Right Honourable," " Right Honourable" quoth the clerk," the "Lords of Council and Session," "Session," continued the scribe, "the petition "of Alexander Macdonald, tenant in Sky,' Sky," "humbly sheweth," "sheweth."-Stop John, read what you've said "yes sir,-Unto the Right Honourable "the Lords of Council and Session, the petition of Alexander Macdonald, tenant "in Sky, humbly sheweth," very well John, very well. Where did you stop? "Humbly sheweth," that the petitioner," "petitioner,"-here a pause for a minute, "That the petitioner," "its down sir." Here the master got up-walked about the room, scratched his head,—took snuff,—but in vain,—the inspiration had fled with the mysterious word "petitioner." The clerk looked up, somewhat amazed that his master had even got that length; and at last ventured to suggest that perhaps the difficulty might be got over," how John," exclaimed his master eagerly?"As you have done the most important part, what would you say Sir, to send the paper, to be finished, to Mr. Macgrugar, with a guinea? "The very thing John,-tak the paper to Macgrugar, and as we have done "the maist fickle part of the work, he's deevilish weell off wi a guinea." This advice has sometimes been adopted, at least one instance might be cited where it was followed. A gentleman, afterwards well known in the profession, who subsequently settled in London, and who is still alive, had been bound apprentice to a respectable writer to the signet of the old school, who was no great admirer of modern puppyism. The youth was deemed, or rather deemed himself a very fine sort of person, and the idea of carrying papers was revolting to his feelings. One evening the master rang the bell, and the apprentice was desired to take a very small parcel of papers to a professional gentleman, whose residence was not far distant, the packet was received in servant; and surely it is much more for your honour as well as that of your master, though he should be obliged to keep a couple of servants, than that you should be employed like a Cadie. But if in any case you must go with a card, leave it at the house, and come off that instant, without waiting for the answer. If your master desires you to carry papers in a bag to a Judge's house, absolutely refuse it. This will show your master that you are a young gentleman of spirit, and that you are not to be affronted. Let old Hocus trudge away with his bags himself. As to your carrying your master's great coat when he happens to be out at night, and which I remember to have been the custom, it is needless to say any thing, as this abominable practice is now universally exploded! Contrive to get acquainted with young gentlemen of taste about town, who by frequenting billiard-tables, cock-matches, stables, and other places of polite amusement, have acquired a knowledge of the world and of life.* This will hinder your parts from rusting, which is very likely to happen if you sit constantly slaving in your master's office. If you can scrape an acquaintance with any bookseller's clerk, it may not be amiss that you spend two or three hours silence, not a word was said. À minute had hardly elapsed when the master saw a porter run hastily across the street, apparently to the office. This induced some suspicion of his errand,-which was verified by shortly seeing the young man issue forth from the office followed by the porter. Seizing his bat the master followed, and overtaking the latter, relieved him of his burden. He then followed in the rear of his apprentice, who, of course, thought it beneath his dignity to look round. At last the place of destination was reached, the door bell was rang with violence, "here fellow," quoth the youth, "give me the parcel," slipping sixpence into his hand; but without condescending to look at him, "here it is for you," exclaimed the supposed porter, the voice struck the young gentleman, and his astonishment and confusion may be imagined when he beheld his master. In place of scolding him, the old gentleman contented himself with using the very powerful weapon of ridicule, and with such effect, as the apprentice afterwards candidly avowed, that in future he resolved not to be above his business. * This recommendation has met with due attention in modern days, and has led to a great improvement both in the mind and morals of the rising generation of youthful writers. a day in the shop. Every writer's apprentice is, de jure, a member of the republic of letters, (I do not mean Signet letters) and such places enjoy a prescriptive right of engrossing a considerable portion of your time. Gay, speaking of the shop of one of these midwives of the muses, has observed long ago that, "How sauntering 'prentices o'er Otway weep, "O'er Congreve smile, or over Erskine sleep." Never be a whole day together at your desk, but go out now and then and take a walk for your amusement, to a tennis court, or a game or two at billiards. This will be an agreeable, rational, and indeed a necessary relaxation from the dull plodding in your master's office. If your parents can afford it, or whether they can afford it or no, by all means dress yourself like a cornet of dragoons. Have your hair done at least once a-day in the most fashionable and approved manner, and let no consideration whatever prevent you from being completely dressed before you come to your master's office about mid-day. Your master is as able to work as you are, and if he chooses to be at his desk by six in the morning, why not? but it would be very improper in you to disturb his family at so early an hour. Take care to let your master be obliged to send all over the town in quest of you two or three times a-week, and sometimes as often in a day, to attend what he calls your duty in the office. This will show your acquaintances that your master is an honest fellow, and that you and he are more upon the footing of companions, than that of master and apprentice. When your master challenges you for any little neglect, such as forgetting to put his letters into the post-office for two or three nights, or the like, you may look as surly at him as you please, but I advise you, for your own sake, not to make any reply, at least while the hot fit is on him; for if your master should happen to be a choleric hasty fellow you have a chance of getting your head broke. I remember once, to have myself got a most inhuman drubbing for saying, as I thought, a smart thing to my master upon such an occasion. Endeavour to conceal as much as possible, your being bound apprentice to a writer; for, to say the truth, all business is below a gentleman of any spirit; and when the world sees you strolling about the country, with a fowling-piece on your shoulder and a pointer at your heels, they will never suspect that you mean to work for your bread; they will naturally conclude, either that you are a gentleman of considerable landed property, or that you have gained a capital prize in the last state lottery, or that somebody has left you something somewhere; and in either of these cases, depend upon it, you will be treated by strangers with much respect. The profession of an attorney too, you will recollect, is far from being popular, and this is an additional motive for your concealing, with some adroitness, your connection with it. Pope, you know, has said, "Boastful and rough, your first son is a 'squire, If you get a paper from your master which he wants copied in a hurry, lay it down deliberately on your desk, and after taking a pinch of snuff, take up a law book, if there should be one in the office, and read, or pretend to read half a dozen pages for the improvement of your mind is surely an object of much greater importance than the copying, it may be, of some very foolish paper. Should you be sent in the morning with papers to the Parliament-house, which are in a very great hurry, and should your master anxiously desire you to run the whole that you may not be too late, walk with the utmost so way lemnity, and as slow as if you were going to be hanged. For why should you run the risk of catching a fever, by overheating yourself merely to oblige your master? besides, this behaviour of yours will teach him in future to be more orderly and timeous with his papers in a morning, and order is absolutely requisite in carrying on business. Always walk with a cane, or some fashionable switch, or a short bludgeon, (as the vogue may be) although you should be sent a message to the next door. Every person who wears a cane, switch, or bludgeon, is, eo ipso, a gentleman. If you can any how contrive to procure a pair of boots, your fortune is made; for wearing boots, when you have not the most distant intention of riding, nor perhaps as much money in your repositories as would hire a hack for a day, is another infallible mark of a gentleman. See that the tops of your boots, however, are pushed down to your ankles, otherwise people might suspect that your master was about to send you into the country upon business; an aspersion against which you cannot, on your entry into life, be too careful of guarding against. Copying your master's letters is a most intolerable slavery, especially if he has taken a crotchet into his wise head, of writing to his clients a dull history of his proceedings in every dull law-suit. Make short work with them. Leave out whole sentences, and by contractions, et ceteras, and expunging absurd passages, you may condense a letter of three pages into about as many lines. Nothing is more beautiful and elegant than a short concise stile, especially in letters; and from the days of the elder Pliny, down to those of Mr. Gamaliel Pickle inclusive, every man of taste and genius has cultivated this study with diligence and attention. In the first volume of Peregrine Pickle, a book never to be sufficiently commended, (and which buy) you will find a very beautiful illustration of what I am now recommending to you. I mean the letter from Mr. Gamaliel Pickle to his mistress, and which I take to be a perfect model of the epistolary stile, |