NUMBER XXXI.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28th, 1807.

"Methought I heard a voice cry sleep no more!"

SHAKSPEARE.

It

I HOPE, however, that this terrible command was not uttered by my Reader, nor addressed to me. would throw cold water on my very practicable, and innocent, if not entertaining project, of keeping myself and him asleep during the greater part of our periodical excursion. In the modest confidence therefore, that I do not "murder sleep," and that the above prohibition being reserved for those who do, I need not fear being roused by so alarming a cold pig, I proceed to enclose some more of Endymion's Common;* and to decorate and plant it with the following improving vision.

It is customary with us, when at Oakley Park, to take our tea and coffee in the Library: where there are two very chearful-looking fire-sides; with sofas and a table duly arranged at each. One of these

* See No. 15.

latter is appropriated to the tea-equipage; and the other covered with papers, pamphlets, loose vo lumes, inkstands, and all the.comfortable lumber and clean confusion of a book room.

Some time ago, having finished my business at the first, and adjourned to the last mentioned table, I first opened a volume of the Spectator, at that Number, in which it is at once truly and humourously observed, that "the food often grows in one (6 country; and the sauce in another. The fruits of "Portugal are corrected by the products of Barba"does; and the infusion of a China plant is sweet"ened by the pith of an Indian cane. The dress "of a woman of quality is frequently the product of "an hundred climates. The Muff and the Fan

come together from the different ends of the "earth. The Scarf is sent from the torrid zone; and "the Tippet from beneath the pole. The brocade "petticoat rises out of the mines of Peru; and the "diamond necklace out of the bowels of Indostan."*

Having paid the tribute of an admiring smile to the pleasantry of this paper, I laid down the volume, and taking up another book which lay before me, was, in a lounging and desultory way, accompanying Swift through the apartments of the Academy at Lagado, when Sir Everard dispatching a trumpet, to inform me that he was napping, I quickly followed

* Number 69.

his example; and imagination presented the following fantastic picture to my view.

I found myself at the outskirts of a large town of singular construction; in company with Captain Gulliver, The Spectator, The Flapper, and a gentleman whom I mistook for Mr. Lancaster,* until the Captain introduced him to me as Professor Cucumber. Having lately returned from Laputa, he wore a small Isosceles beaver, which was the newest fashion there, and might perhaps have contributed to my mistake. The Doctor received me very affably; and proposed that I should accompany his friends and him to the Horticultural Manufactory, which had been recently established by the Academy; and put under his

care.

We entered this strange garden, which lay just beyond the suburbs, between two armed figures; which the Professor told me he had raised from a couple of Dragon's† teeth, that Cadmus had omitted to extract; and which the Academy had imported direct from Boeotia; between whose Virtuosi, and the Lagadans, the most cordial intercourse had long subsisted. On getting in, we found the area enclosed by a very well-grown hedge of ordered arms; which,

*Not Lionel Lancaster, whose name occurs in one of my early Numbers; but Joseph Lancaster; Quaker, Schoolmaster, Schoolfounder, &c. &c.

+ Or Dragoon's.

as the bayonets were all fixed, formed a secure, and even formidable fence: for our Conductor assured us that it was not uncommon for them to bear ballcartridges, the season after they were grounded. This part of the garden seemed appropriated to military purposes: for, within the hedge, there was a nursery of feather-spring pistols; of which Mr. Gulliver wishing to bespeak a case, was informed that there were orders for the entire bed, from the counties of Gallway, and Tipperary.* Beyond these was a flourishing plantation of Turkish Scimitars; which however were not raised without trouble and inconvenience; the under gardener having lost three of his fingers, in propagating them,-by cuttings.

Higher up was a very pretty little plot+ of Sceptres; which the Academy was forcing; having orders from Napoleon, for as many as could be furnished early in the campaign, for the consumption of his generals. This compartment was fancifully bordered with ducal coronets, for Chefs de Brigade, &c. &c. At the upper end I observed a woman shelling grape shot, as we do beans; and two or three athletic fellows near her, digging round shot, and shells, which seemed to be grown much after the manner of our potatoes.

* From one of which, Sir Lucius O'Trigger may be supposed to have come.

+ For plot, any Reader who chooses, can read plat.

Adjacent to these drills, I remarked a small piece of waste ground; which I was informed had been an odoratum lauri nemus; but the greater part had been exhausted by incessant orders from Great Britain and Ireland, for the last twelve years; and what remained had withered suddenly, on the death of NELSON. However, as they were sure of a market in the British Islands, the area was to be replanted without delay;—and in the mean time, I was shown one very flourishing and vigorous tree, which I blushed. for having over-looked ;—especially when it was added that it belonged to Sir Sidney Smith. Of this my informer politely offered me a wreath; which, though aware that the Chevalier sans peur could never miss it, I nevertheless thought it proper to decline feeling that in a moment and circumstances like the present, our sailors and soldiers were entitled to every sprig.

Another part of the garden had a very gay and diversified appearance. Our guide called this the Hortus Vestiarius; and said it was almost entirely occupied by the class and order Polyandria Polygynia. Here we saw all the clothing, which Colonels, though allowed to charge for their regiments, are slanderously accused of omitting to provide. Interspersed fancifully among these, were lawn sleeves, birth-day dresses of both sexes, Peers' and Judges' robes, university.