how long must thou be forced to hear the sound of the trumpet and the alarm of war? Must thou always see these sworn adversaries running upon and struggling with each other? The word of God doth quickly answer me, that the flesh and spirit will thus lust against each other, while we have bodies of flesh and regenerated souls united. It is so in thee, my soul, and it is thy happiness it is so and no worse. Thou thinkest thou hast great cause to complain, but thou hast also infinite cause to bless thy God for these heart-battles which are evidences of regeneration, means of thy deeper humiliation, and occasions of the manifestation of God's goodness, and wisdom, and power. O my soul, thou art abundantly indebted to free grace for these tokens of undeserved love, that the strong man armed does not keep secure possession, that God hath infused a living principle within thee, to incline thee towards heaven as thy nature doth towards hell. O never be at rest till corruptions have received their final doom; be not at truce or peace with any darling sin, for thou losest most ground when thou art parleying with the enemy; when thou art tampering with him, he leads thee captive. Come, my soul, be valiant for the truth, put on the whole armour of God, and at last thou shalt prevail against thy foes, and have an everlasting triumph.

V.

O sad, afflicted, and agitated soul ! Art thou so enamoured with the world as to make thee loth to leave it? What pleasure canst thou take in feuds and battles? Is not peace better than war? Is it not far better to be at home, under thy father's safe and succouring wings, free from all intestine disturbances and foreign invasions, than to be travelling thy journey, sometimes wet and battered with wind and weather of severe afflictions, and at other times overcome with the sultriness of a prosperous condition? One would think, O my degenerate soul, there would not be so much difficulty to persuade thee freely to lay down this house of clay. But I feel thou art too carnal and corrupt, and, like an angry child, unwilling to go to bed. It is true thou canst not leave it but when thy time is come; but shouldst thou not die daily, and be realizing death as if it were already at the door, as who knows but it is? Shouldst thou not always be prepared to die? Shouldst thou not still carry thy life in thy hand, because thou art not at thy own disposal? Thou art at the disposal of him who will not give thee an account of his proceedings; he will not gratify thee so much as to let thee know the length of thy days, or give thee a lease of thy life, lest it should breed presumption and nourish thy

security. Shouldst thou not therefore be trimming thy lamp, girding thy loins, standing on thy watch, and be ready whenever it shall please God to call? Argue thyself into a dying posture. 'Tis a matter of great moment to pass into eternity, and all a man's time from the cradle to the grave, were it stretched out to the length of the antediluvian patriarchs' lives, would be little enough to be employed in preparation for it. The happiness or misery of this precious and immortal soul depends upon the well or ill improvement of this inch of time. Well then, O my soul, if thy pilgrimage in this tabernacle of clay is spent in the enjoyment of God, O what a double heaven wilt thou have hereafter!

VI.

Sometimes I can remember, that through consciousness of my duty and sense of necessity, I have beeen drawn to my knees, when at the first my heart was dull, frozen, and stupid; but ere I was aware, I have been greatly enlarged, and have been carried away by the wings of the Spirit as in the chariot of Amminadib. But now woe is me! I felt a strong inclination, (as I thought) to engage in duty, and perceived some movements of a spirit of grace and supplication; but I sensibly discerned the withdrawing of my God by being left to sad, dis tracting, and disturbing thoughts. Discover to me, dear and gracious God, what is the cause of thy contending thus with me. I know it must be just, and I do first acquit thee before I do expostulate. Is it because I lie under the guilt of some fresh committed sin, or some omitted duty? Is it because at other times I did not watch over my own heart, but gave too much sway to my extravagant affections, and freely entertained wandering thoughts, and now thou wilt punish one sin by another, and make my sin, my judgment? O my soul, what mercies hast thou sinned against, and what miseries art thou now involved in! Had any one ever more cause to be humbled, and was ever any one less humbled? Did ever mercy and folly meet in such degrees in any soul? Alas, dost thou get any good in thus departing from thy God? Art thou not undone without him, and is there not necessity to approach him? Come then, up and be doing, be resolved in the case, and trifle not about things of such moment. Thou must be serious about it, speak to thy heart and ask it, if it will not practise what is so much for its good. If it refuse, provoke it to it; if it draw back urge it on; if it linger, like Lot in Sodom, hasten it forward, let it not stay, nor make delays, nor plead excuses. The longer thou deferrest this duty the more dangerous is thy state. Fall on thy knees this morning, see what God will give thee,

and O do thou give thyself, thy heart, thy hand, thy head, thy all to God.

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VII.

Art

O my soul, thou hast been playing the prodigal, and grown exceedingly sensual and grovelling; thou hast been indolent in seeking after things above, and hast been thinking to take up thy rest in things below. Dost thou not hear the voice of God, saying, "Arise ye, and depart; for this is not your rest?" What satisfaction hast thou gained from creatures, as distinct from the Creator? Have not the most hopeful ways to settle and compose thyself proved very ineffectual? God bids thee cease from man, whose breath is in his nostrils ;" and as to worldly means they have proved the greatest disturbers of thy peace. Are not the church's troubles many and likely to be more? Are not thy own troubles many and likely to increase? Art thou not molested from without and from within? thou not troubled to see the work of God go on so slowly, and the work of man to be so successful? Doth it not trouble thee to see the afflictions of Joseph and the scattered stones of Jerusalem? Doth it not trouble thee to see the child of Reformation in the birth, and yet no strength to bring forth? Doth it not trouble thee to see the Lord of life and glory so little regarded, and to hear the name of God lamentably blasphemed ? Doth it not trouble thee to see so few converted, and so many hardened by the means of grace? to see so many backslide and quite desert the right paths of religion? to see so many loathe the purest and plainest truths and follow after fables? Doth it not trouble thee to see so many precious saints grow cold and dull, and quite relinquish their first love? Doth it not trouble thee to see saints look so shyly one upon another, as if they were not any thing related, because they differ in their judgments? Do not the wicked rejoice in their contentions, and the weak take just offence? Doth it not trouble thee that all these things do trouble thee no more? If thou dost look no farther than thyself, there will appear a sea of personal troubles. Art thou not often troubled that thou art not better qualified for thy work, and that it is no more successful, that sinners are not called and converted, and that saints are not comforted and confirmed? Do not thy bowels yearn over poor ignorant, hardhearted people, and for some wicked and wretched souls that know not their right hands from their left in spiritual things? Do not these things beat up a march for the removal of thy pitched tent? O my soul, methinks these things should shame thee out of thy security, and provoke thee to industry. Alas, my soul, there are many things amiss in thee that ought to be

amended, many things are perishing that should be repaired, many graces dying that should be recruited, and many lusts reviving that should be mortified. Surely thy work is great, thy time short, and thy strength small; therefore apply to the business with diligence. Be serious in matters of eternity, be resolute for God in his work, be upright with God in his ways, and let all thy actions testify, thou mindest thy everlasting interests more than thy transitory pleasures. Let graces have their perfect work, Christ alone his due esteem, and whatever is against him be perfectly hated in thy breast: at last thy glory shall make amends for all thy misery.

VIII.

How long is it, O my soul, since thou didst delightfully enjoy the presence of thy God in secret? Time hath been, when there was sweet intercourse of love between thy God and thee, when thy heart was melted with tenderness and affection. Time hath been, when the Lord gave thee some special testimonies of his unchangeable love and let thee see thy interest in himself, when he transported thee with the sacred communications of his Spirit, so that thou hast been loth to part with divine employments. But of late there hath been a great strangeness betwixt thee and God, private duties and public exercises have dwindled mostly into outward forms. Will not Nadab and Abihu tell thee that the fire of God's anger is hottest near the altar? Art thou so much exercised in public employments and yet neglectest private and secret humiliation? Dost thou think the one will obtain a dispensation for the neglect of the other? Because thou art exercised much publicly, shouldst thou not so much the more prepare in private? Thou hast said, (and dost thou not believe thyself?) that a man is so far a Christian, as he is one in secret between God and his own soul, and that secret acts of religion are precious tokens of sincerity. Thou mayest do much before men, pray zealously, preach affectionately, and take much pains to divide the word of God aright, and yet all be tainted with the secret leaven of hypocrisy ; yea, if thou dost not make conscience of private as well as public duties, thy ends are very liable to suspicion, thy case dangerous, and thy heart too, too deceitful. Thou mayest study hard to obtain human accomplishments, preach in the best manner thou canst to gain credit with men, and pray with fluent expressions to be heard of men, and all this for thy maintenance; but if that be all, alas, pity thyself, and lay thy state to heart. Why dost thou make others believe thou enjoyest something of God in secret, if it be not so? Doth not God scan all thy ways

and

know whether things be as they seem? True, indeed, thou mayest cast dust before the eyes of the most eminent saints and make them believe thou art a close walking Christian, and yet remain a licentious atheist in thy closet. God cannot be mocked as men may, nor doth he see as man seeth. Fair words and a false heart will not pass current in the court of heaven. Dost thou not sometimes mention secret communion with God before others? Now, where is it? Wilt thou lie to the Lord, and horribly profane his sacred name? Nay, my soul, do not so wickedly. Art thou not ashamed that others should think better of thee than thou art? Ah, blush when thou dost mention a soul's sweet enjoyment of God, of which thou thyself hast so little experience. Be ashamed of thy negligence in the performance of duties, or thy ready entertainment of strange distracting thoughts therein. Of all the burdens that oppress me, this hard and stupid heart is the greatest load, and is the most dangerous, except the Lord work a miracle in raising the dead.

IX.

Consider, O my soul, what are the actions thou shouldst perform as a preparation for the sabbath which is so near, on which thou hopest to enjoy the gracious presence of thy God. Thou art to preach to God's people to-morrow, preach to thyself today. God hath appointed thee to dispense the mysteries of the gospel to others, and do not those mysteries concern thyself as well as them? Wouldst thou be willing that thy people should be saved, and care not if thyself be damned? Is not heaven large enough for all? Art thou so mad as to provide a rich feast, though served up in mean dishes, and to invite others to eat thereof, and wilt thou thyself famish and pine away? Will not the feast prove delightful to thy taste and refreshing to thyself? Mayest thou not then with greater confidence invite thy people to partake abundantly of this spiritual provision, and tell them how good and wholesome it is from thy own experience? The celestial bread of this feast, this divine manna that descends from heaven, is enough to feed all true Israelites for ever. If any want, it is not through deficiency in the treasure, but the insufficiency of the conveyers to poor needy souls. If any die by thirst, it is not that there is a want of the water of life, the fountain is full and overflowing, but because, either with Hagar, men want light to discover the well, or, with the woman of Samaria, they want a bucket to draw with. Well, my soul, seeing there is enough, get thy share; thy people will have none the less but more. Wilt thou not then speak as having been taught those saving truths thou deliverest? When thou dost