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mention truths indifferently and heedlessly as if thou gavest not credit to them thyself, how canst thou believe that others will embrace them? Surely if thou failest in this, thou failest in thy duty. Is this course any more than the necessary duty of a Christian? and dost thou cease to be a Christian when thou dost begin to be a minister? God forbid. Dost thou not sometimes instruct the people that their duty, when they have heard the word, is to ruminate upon it; and shouldst not thou do so much the more, seeing there is the concurrence both of thy general and particular calling?

X.

O my soul, hast thou not much to do in preparation for the sabbath? Thou art to pray on behalf both of thyself and people to-morrow. Go to thy God, lie low before him, commence thy suit, and wrest a blessing from his hands by importunity. Thou hast often met with God's presence in his work, but doth that engage him in thy favour so that he should not act freely? He hath never left thee to thyself, but doth that evince either that thy piety or abilities are the stronger? or that, if God should leave thee, thou wilt be able to go on as successfully as before? No, no, if he hath been thy helper, thou art the more beholden to free grace. O praise him for these former supplies of his grace, prize at a higher rate the influences of his Spirit, admire him for those sweet tokens of love sent in public ordinances to thee, and pray hard for his assisting and accepting grace to-morrow. Plead promises with him, bewail thy inability without him, wrestle for a blessing from him, and do not let him go till thy heart be affected as a presage of future mercies. Shouldst thou not likewise, O my soul, put in a word for thy people? If God enlarge thee ever so much in speaking, and give thee a wide and open door of utterance, what good will that do except he bow the ears of the people, and give them a door of entrance? The rain of heaven may fall and yet the earth remain barren, the seed may be sown yet never come to perfection, except God cause it to fructify. The spiritual husbandman may dig and take much pains to little purpose; the plants of the Lord springing in the church will never bear much fruit, except they be well rooted below and well watered above; and can mortal man do this? If the word come to man only by the strength of man, the power of man can easily resist it; but if it come with God's power it shall prevail; then the security of man cannot abide its force, and the wilful impenitency and obstinacy of man cannot counteract or withstand it; it will prove itself the power of God unto salvation. Apply to the throne of grace, take no denial, and God will own thy

prayers and crown thy pains with desired success in the conversion of souls.

XI.

Advance thyself once again, my soul, and mount up heavenwards; up and be doing, and delight thyself with anticipations of thy rest. Look upon heaven as a reality, and view thy property therein; survey the delights thereof, and see if all these things will not affect thy heart with admiration, and transport thee with holy ecstacy beyond thyself? Let others dream of golden mountains and glittering sands, and hang their hopes on castles in the air; yet keep thou to this orthodox truth, that heaven is above, that the celestial city hath foundations, whereas the earth hath none but hangs on nothing in the air. Do thou fix the anchor of thy hope beyond the mortal veil of flesh, in the vast and boundless ocean of eternity. Bathe thyself in the rivers of pleasure, and see if it will not set thee longing for full enjoyment. O my soul, what a life mightest thou live if heaven were as much in thy thoughts as earth, if thy mind were lifted up above this inferior world, conversing with the Lord of life and glory. Say now, what is it thou canst de

If thou wouldst have a conflu

sire that heaven cannot afford? ence of all good things, behold enough to satisfy the enlarged desires of the most capacious mind. Whither wouldst thou aspire? Canst thou be exalted higher than into the highest room? But mayest thou enjoy this felicity? Yes, surely; God is serious in offering it, why then should I question it? Did God ever dissemble to obtain proselytes? Harbour not such a blasphemous thought. Yes, he will give it to some, but may I have any share therein? Why not thou, O my soul? Hath he made such large and liberal promises to give a kingdom to his flock, and why not to thee? But I am a poor sinful, wretched, worthless creature? What then? Art thou beyond the reach of free grace? Canst thou think to be accepted on thy own account? Was ever any one admitted for his deserts, or excluded for want of merit ? Are not those thrust out who come to buy heaven, and such received as come to beg entrance? The poor receive the gospel, which is the kingdom of heaven, and that kingdom of heaven will receive them. Canst thou but get to be poor in spirit, God will make thee rich in faith; the poorer thou art in thyself the richer in him. If poverty were all, that I know would be dispensed with; but I am not only poor but a bankrupt, being many thousand talents in debt in the book of heaven; and dost thou think that will hinder? Is not he that is willing to make thee rich, able also to pay thy debt? Did Christ die to enrich thee and not to set thee free?

Or dost thou think thy debts are beyond the price of his infinite satisfaction? Are thy garments filthy? Fear not, he hath change of raiment; all he bids thee do is, to be willing to part with thine and change them for his glorious robes; and art thou not desirous of that? Ah, yes, fain enough long since, God knows. My sins have been my burden, and shall I not thank the hand that takes off such a load? O my soul, wouldst thou not have the Lord Jesus on his own terms, to be thy Sovereign as well as Saviour, to be thy lawgiver and to rule thee according to his will, though against thy carnal bias? My soul, if thou art willing, he is very willing; then the engagement is made, and nothing now shall part us asunder. Thou hast the Lord firm enough in his word, the writings are made in the scriptures, the debt is cancelled, the promises ratify it, the oath of God seals it, and the blessed Trinity confirm it by all their united acts for thy salvation; the saints in heaven and earth are legal witnesses. Hath not God wrought something in thee above and beyond nature, and doth he not act towards thee as if he meant to save thee? Else, what mean those strong convictions thou once hadst, taking thee from all thy carnal rests? What mean those pangs of regeneration formerly, and those constant warrings in thy breast against Satan? What mean that fearfulness to offend God, carefulness to walk according to his revealed will, those withdrawings of thy heart from sublunary vanities and resting on the chief good? Surely these footsteps of free grace and traces of undeserved love upon thy heart, indicate more than a common work. Look on heaven as thy own, and rejoice therein as thy peculiar portion. Will not the heir of an estate be delighted with the consideration of what he shall hereafter enjoy? And wilt not thou, O my soul, delight thyself in heaven though at some distance? Advance thyself and soar heavenwards in panting ejaculations.

XII.

Thou hast now been, my soul, to visit a dear friend on a sick bed, and hast delighted thyself in holy conference about matters of great concern. Follow those tender sensations thou hast felt, until thou art as full of comfort as thy heart can hold. Miss not so fair an opportunity, but spread thy sails, for now a gale of grace blows, so that the ship of the soul may be conveyed nearer the haven. Blow up the small spark into a flame, for it may do thee much good in consuming thy corruptions, and thawing into godly sorrow thy hard, frozen, and icy heart. It may be of use in warming and kindling thy cold and indifferent affections. It is true, alas! that it is only as a little spark

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compared with a mighty ocean; but is not God omnipotent? Can he not preserve as well as create grace in the heart? Then fear not, O my soul, all the enemies of thy salvation; they may disturb thee, but cannot ruin thee. Christ who "is mighty to save," hath taken the government of the world on his own shoulders; he bears up the pillars of his church, and preserves all his people; he can save to the uttermost," because he can keep to the utmost extremity, yea, and beyond the utmost malice of the fiends of hell; they are but finite, he is infinite. upon solid grounds, thou believest thyself to be a partaker of grace, or if any spark of it be in thee, that divine nature shall not be lost. Blessed be that God who hath devised an extraordinary method for the salvation of poor souls, and doth resolve to carry them through by his almighty arm. My soul is the Lord's deposit, in safe custody, and I am persuaded that "he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day." My spiritual life may be hid from me, but it is safe enough if it be "hid with Christ in God." He that hides can surely find, though I cannot, and make me so to find my God that I shall never lose sight of him for ever.

XIII.

What changes are there, O my soul, in this thy passage to eternity! What sudden alterations dost thou experience in a little time! Thou art travelling through a wilderness, wherein the way is hills and dales. No sooner dost thou pass over one mountain of opposition in thy journey, than thou art involved in the contrary extreme of a low condition. Sometimes thou art sinking in deep mire, and then again thou art set upon the rock that is higher than thou; sometimes the meridian sun doth enlighten the Goshen of my soul, and then again black Egyptian darkness overspreads me. My God sometimes, for reasons of his own and for ends best known to himself, doth leave me to seek far for spiritual evidences, so that I doubt whether I have any spiritual life at all. My pulse at times beats very slowly heavenwards, nay, I give up myself as dead: yet Christ comes and tells me, I am not dead but sleeping. Ah! thought I, this is a dead sleep: canst thou awake me? Then came my merciful Saviour and subdued my unbelief with a soul-reviving word, saying," Come forth." Then I felt as Peter, James, and John, on the mount when Christ was transfigured, willing still to be in such a place and state. I thought I was as with the two disciples going to Emmaus, my heart burnt within me when I heard him speaking. Never did a poor fatigued traveller, in a hot summer's day, find such a shadow to shelter his

weary body. I was as happy as Jonah under his gourd, but Jonah's gourd was quickly gone and so was mine. Then I seemed to myself in a worse state than before. What was the cause of the change I know not, but I partly guess that some secret sin was the worm that gnawed the vitals of my spiritual comforts. Ah sin! must thou always come to interrupt me in my spiritual enjoyments? Shall I always carry in me a proud, hard, sensual, backsliding heart? Will these corruptions always take away my communion with God? Must weariness and distracting thoughts still prevail against me? It is a hard case, that God the owner of my soul cannot bear rule in his house as he pleaseth, but these unmannerly lusts will always be intruding, and when he thrusts them out and bolts the door, my treacherous heart within opens to Satan without. But I must not despair, for the Lord will help me at the last, and I shall sing triumphant songs when he hath delivered me out of the hand of all my enemies.

XIV.

What a great disproportion is there, O my soul, betwixt a life in glory and in this present state, though in the kingdom of grace! There is nothing here but sinning and suffering; there is nothing there but singing and triumph. These sins of mine may accompany me in all my natural, civil, and spiritual actions here, and attend me to my death-bed; but that is the furthest they shall go, they shall leave me when the soul leaves the body; sin can no more go with me to heaven, than one spark of true grace shall be thrust down to hell. O my soul, thou canst scarce obtain a day or an hour to spend it totally without some trouble, or free from vain-distracting thoughts in communion with God; but it shall be otherwise in the world above. Fear not, a time will come, when no ignorance shall becloud thy understanding, no perverseness shall militate against the rational acts of thy reformed will, no irregularity shall withdraw thy well-turned affections out of their right course of holy and honourable devotion. Thy weak and brittle memory, that used to forget what is good and to be tenacious of evil, shall then discharge its duty, and easily recollect what shall substantiate God's works of wonder, and prove the security of thy own felicity. My soul, thou wilt not then complain of God's withdrawings from thee, of his shutting out thy prayers, or rather praises. Thou wilt not then bemoan the loss of the light of his countenance, or the hidings of his face in anger, or withdrawing himself behind the curtain, or wrapping himself up in a thick cloud, so that thy prayers cannot pass through. No,

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