replied, "I know not; sometimes I think I have, at other times, that I have not. I know not what to think of myself." "O," said she, "I really believe you have." Then the devil turned upon me in this manner: "Now "Now you have professed to be a Christian, and you are nothing but a hypocrite; she will inform the people that you pretend to be a Christian, and every one will be pointing and saying, "There goes that hypocritical deceiver." Besides, I much feared she would tell Deacon Lee, who was considered to be a man of great experience. And now, thought I, “I shall have to give an account of myself to him. How can I do it? What shall I say?" In a moment my peace of mind was gone, and I would have given a world could I have recalled my words again. Well, thought I, "I will keep out of his way; I will not give him an opportunity to speak with me." As I expected, she informed him of it; and I endeavoured to keep out of his way, which I did till meeting was nearly out, feeling quite safe; when to my surprise the same deacon came and took hold of my cloak and desired me to tarry a few minutes, as he wanted to speak with me. I was scared almost to my wits end, not knowing what to answer, However, I concluded to muster all the courage I was mistress of, and tell him frankly all my mind, and beg him to be candid and plain with me. Accordingly I related my experience; he bid me take courage and doubt no more, for he really believed I had more reason to be joyful than to doubt; and that I had religion, but Satan kept me doubting, but I must not mind him. I earnestly requested him not to deceive me, but to deal faithfully with me. Said he, "It is nothing uncommon for the devil to try young inexperienced minds in this manner. If he cannot win, he will endeavour to worry them. Twenty years," continued he, "I was tried in this manner before I could read my title clear, and get the mastery over him. And are you discouraged so soon?

You have but just entered the field of battle; you will have many difficulties to encounter, but do not fear." I returned home greatly comforted, thanking God that my case was not altogether singular, and that he had given me such a comfortable hope. From this time, I began to claim the promises as my own, and take courage in the ways of the Lord. And though I had inany ups and downs, and dark seasons, the Lord was my light and my comfort; and though I waded through great afflictions I found my comforts greater than my fears.

On the day I arrived at twenty-two years of age, I was reflecting on the increase of my days and taking a view of my past experience. It was almost seven years since I set out to seek religion, and nearly three since I professed, and I trust have possessed it. On strict examination, I found that during the past year I had grown in grace: with gratitude to God I resolved anew to live still nearer to him.

In the winter of 1791, I had a great combat with the Methodists respecting their principles, for I verily thought they were wrong, and valued myself considerably upon arguing. Filled with zeal, ambition, bigotry, and pride, I contested for final perseverance, and unconditional election and reprobation; while they, on the contrary side, held up free grace, free moral agency, and free and full salvation for all men on gospel terms. I played my part in the contest as well as I could, and my opponents did theirs; till at length I was in some measure convinced, and thought I would throw away all superstition, and be willing to be any thing or nothing, so I might but be in the right way. I often kneeled before the Lord, simply to ask of him the right way if I had not found it. Great were my trials: but I heard, saw, and felt so much of the power of religion among the Methodists, that I was soon cɔnvinced they were a chosen people of the Lord. I had formed an intimate acquaintance with a young woman,

a Methodist, who was an eminent pattern of piety, and this greatly attached me to them. Like Gamaliel, I would say, "Refrain, therefore, &c, lest haply ye be found even to fight against God." So I concluded to say nothing for or against them, only to wish every one well.

On the 27th and 28th of the ensuing August, a quarterly meeting was held among them. I was in much hopes of being profited by the meeting; but though I felt an engagedness of mind, the prevalence of doubts and fears prevented much enjoyment. I told my state to a near friend, who laboured to comfort me: I retired to secret prayer, and blessed be the Lord, I found him precious to my soul. On Monday following he seemed still nearer. This day I trust I walked with God: though parting with my dear friend in the morning caused grief, yet I felt the love of God shed abroad in my heart. At noon, in secret prayer, I was greatly refreshed; in the evening, I retired again to address the throne of grace for myself and my friend, and found much comfort. The ensuing day also, in my school, the Lord was very precious, and I felt as if willing to depart and be with Christ.

Friday, September 2, 1791, I set apart as a day of fasting to the Lord. In my morning devotion, though conscious of a degree of coldness, with some doubts and fears, I felt somewhat engaged and a measure of comfort in family prayer. After which, I took my Bible and turned to Psa. xxx, 2, "O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me !" and verses 4, 5, "Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his name, for his anger endureth but a moment! In his favour is life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." These words greatly comforted me. They proved as an anchor, sure and steadfast. Now I could say it was good to wait upon the Lord, for I found my spiritual strength renewed; my soul did

truly rejoice, and it was my cry, "O for a closer walk with God!" I wanted every breath to be devotion and prayer, and to yield my soul and body a living sacrifice to the Lord. In the ecstasy of my mind, I cried out, "Since no man can see thee and live, Lord let me die that I may see thee, and be with thee." O how did I long for the evening of death to come, that I might be with God in glory!

[As at night, after being wearied with the toils and labours of the day, we gladly lay aside our garments to go to rest; so the laborious, faithful Christian, encompassed with infirmities, exercised with trials, and groaning being burdened, rejoices when the hour comes to lay his clayed tabernacle down that he may rest in heaven.]

The next day, in morning prayer, I felt a little heaven, a prelude of the joys to come, in my breast. It did not continue, however, in such a degree through the day for I found, to my grief, how liable I was to contract guilt, and felt the native depravity of my heart and the need of renewed acts of repentance and faith.

September 5. A heavy cloud hung over my mind: I was ready to cry out, "My heart will be unclean, the Canaanites will dwell in the land, I am troubled and bowed down greatly, I go mourning all the day long," &c. At night, in prayer, was a little comforted, and more refreshed the next day in reading a hymn adapted to my case, and perusing the Bible.

September 8. My soul is enlivened, my strength is renewed, and with David, I can say, "Come unto me, all ye that fear God, and I will tell you what he hath done for my soul. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together; for I sought the Lord and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears! O taste and see how good the Lord is. Blessed is the man that trusteth in him," &c. "Be merciful unto me, O Lord, for my soul trusteth in thee! In the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge," &c. My

soul truly rejoiced in the Lord this day, and I could

say

"My father God, with an unwavering tongue."

At noon, while going to my school, I had a blessed season; my conversation was in heaven, though my body was on the earth. I felt as if weaned from the world and all its transitory joys; and as if I could bid them all adieu that I might be with Christ above.

O Lord, great peace have they that love thy law, and nothing shall offend them! If I know my own heart I love thee; I love thy people and thy cause, and choose rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season. Neither the world, nor the things of the world, are the object of my pursuit. I seek a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Methinks I long to fly out of time into eternity to be with the Lord.

September 9. Methinks "I can read my title clear to mansions in the skies," and climb to Pisgah's top, this morning, and view the promised land. The brittle thread of mortal life alone hinders from passing into that heavenly Canaan; and even now, while on this side Jordan, some clusters from the heavenly vine refresh my spirit and tell me, that ere long, if faithful, I shall be in full possession of the blessed inheritance.

September 10. Endeavoured to walk with God, and trust not in vain, though not so fully as I desire. This night I joined the Methodists. Though once opposed to them and their doctrines, it was when I was not properly acquainted with either. How careful ought we to be of speaking against any of the servants of the Lord, since,

"The meanest saint that we despise

Has an avenger there."

I have seen a great work of God, and received great blessings among the Baptists; but, a far greater work