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Word, I affure you, and you will find it when you go home, Vol. and Page---fo and fo.'

But let a Man preach his own Sermons, or any Body's elfe, he can never expect to pleafe for any Length of Time; I have fcarce ever known a Lecturer continue a Favourite above two or three Years ; If he always preaches himself he grows tiresome, and if he puts in another he is cenfured as Idle and Negligent: If his Deputy preaches better, or which is the fame Thing, appears to preach better than himself, it finks the Principal into Contempt; and if the Deputy does not preach fo well, Hints are given him that it would be better if fome Folks would do their own Duty; add to this, that your conftant Church-trotters and Text-markers, who take down the Heads in their Pocket-Books, are always fmoaking your ftale Divinity, and expect a new Difcourfe to tickle their Ears every Sunday. We can fee the fame Play at the Theatre, hear the fame Story abroad, or read the fame Book at home, perhaps once in a Month at leaft, with Pleasure; but to liften to the fame Difcourfe from a Pulpit once in three Years, though perhaps we do not actually remember a Line more than the Text, is, for what Reason I know not, moft intolerable.

I am as thoroughly convinced, as I am of my own Existence, that Lectureships greatly promote and incrcafe Methodifm. A Defire of ftriking out fomething new and uncommon to tickle the Ears of the Groundlings, has led many a plain well-meaning Preacher into romantic Sallies, and theatrical Geftures, and infenfibly drawn them into methodiftical Rant and Enthusiasm.

There never was a duller Hound than that* Hound of King's, whom your Lordship must remember as

*The Servitors, as they are termed at Oxford, or what we call in Cambridge Sizers, go, at King's College, and there only, by the Name of Hounds. Mr. Jones was a Hound of King's.

well

well as myself, the famous Mr. Jones of St. Saviour's: He had preached for fome Time in the old dog-trot Stile of Firft to the Firft, Secondly to the Second, and administered his gentle Soporifics to no Purpose for a Year or two, when, finding it would not do, all on a sudden he shook his Ears, fet up a loud Bark, and by mere Dint of Noife, Vociferation and Grimace, mouthed and bellowed himself into Reputation amongst the Gentlemen of the Clink, out heroded Herod, and almoft eclipsed the Fame of Wesley, Whitefield, and Madan.

I fhall now proceed, my Lord (to speak in the Parfonick Stile) to my third general Head, viz. the Manner in which Lectureships are ufually paid, which is equally injurious to our Character and Function.

I know a little too much of the World, my Lord, to expect that a Parson should be paid like a firstrate Player, a Pimp, or a Lord of the Treasury, whose Incomes I believe are pretty near equal; but at the fame Time cannot help thinking, that a Labourer in the Vineyard is as well worthy of his Hire, as a Journeyman Carpenter, Mason, &c. and has as good a Right to two Pound two on a Sunday as he has on a Saturday Night; and yet not one in a Hundred of us is paid in that Proportion.

The Lecturer's Box generally goes about with the reft of the Parish Beggars a little after Christmas; and every Body throws in their Charity (for it is always confidered in that Light) as they think proper. Were I to tell your Lordship how many paltry Excufes are made to evade this little annual Tribute by the Mean and Sordid, how very little is given even by the most Generous, and what an inconfiderable Sum the Whole generally amounts to, the Recital would not afford you much Entertainment, and, for aught I know, might even give you fome fmall Concern.

You

256

LETTER TO A BISHOP.

You cannot imagine, my Lord, with what an envious Eye we poor Lecturers have often looked over a Waiter's Book at a Coffee-house, where I have seen fuch a Collection of Guineas and half Guineas as made my Mouth water: To give less than a Crown at leaft, would be to the last Degree ungenteel, for the immenfe Trouble of handing a Dish of Coffee, or a News-paper; whilft the poor Divine, who has toiled in the Miniftry for a Twelvemonth, and half worn out a Pair of excellent Lungs in the unprofitable Service, shall think himself well rewarded with the noble Donation of Half a Crown.

But to illuftrate my Subject, I will give your Lordship another Story: There is nothing like a little Painting from the Life on thefe Occafions: Suppofe yourself then, my Lord, an Eye-witness of the following Scene, which paffed not long fince in a certain Part of this Metropolis.

Enter the Church-warden and Overseer into the Shop of Mr. Prim the Mercer---Well, Mr. Twift, what are your Commands with me?---We are come to wait on your Honour, with the Lecturer's Book, Sir,--a voluntary Subfcription of the Inhabitants of for the Support of

Well,

the Parish of St. well, you need not read any further; what is it?— Whatever you please, Sir,-Aye, here's another Load, another Burthen: D'ye think I am made of Gold? There's the Poor's Rate, the Doctor's Rate, the Window Rates; the Devil's in the Rates, I thinkhowever, I can't refufe you; but I'll not give another Year-here, Buckram, reach me Half a Crown out of the Till-your Servant, Madam

[A Lady comes out of a back Parlour, walks through the Shop, and gets into a Chair.]

Ave, there's another Tax-a Guinea for two Box Tickets, as fure as the Benefit comes round, for my Wife and Daughter, befides Chair-hire.

[Twift Jhakes his Head.]

O Mafter

O Mafter Prim, Mafter Prim! had not you better now have given us a Guinea for the Doctor and his four Children, and referved your Half Crown for the Lady, who, if I may judge from her Garb and Equipage, does not want it half so much as the poor Parfon; but you will be in the Fashion, fo give us your Mite; fet down Mr. Prim Two and Sixpence.-Sir, Good Morrow to you-Gentlemen, your Servant

Such, my Lord, you fee, is the Force of Fafhion, and fuch the Influence of Example, that a conftant Church-goer, and one perhaps who fancies himself a very good Chriftian, ihall throw away one Pound one with all the Pleasure imaginable for an Evening's Entertainment at the Theatre, and at the fame Time grudge Half a Crown for two and fifty Difcourfes from the Pulpit, which, if he turns to his Arithmetic Book, he will fee amounts to about ---three Farthings a Sermon---and a fober Citizen too, as Lady Townly fays, Fye! fye!'

Thefe, my Lord, are melancholy. Truths, and, though you and I who are Philofophers may laugh at them, have made many an honeft Man's Heart ake.

I will leave your Lordfhip to imagine, without entering any further into this Subject, what the great and defirable Emoluments must be arifing from a Town Leureship; hardly equal at the best to the Wages of a Journeyman Staymaker, and by no Means upon a Level with the Profits of Drawers, Coffee-house Waiters, or the Footmen of our Nobility. This very lucrative Employment, notwithftanding, as being too confiderable for one Man, is frequently fplit in two and divided, like the Places of Poft Mafter General, Secretary, &c. amongst the Great. I have myself the Honour, my Lord, of being what is called a Joint-Lecturer, not having Intereft enough in the Parish, where I had been CuVOL. II. S

rate

258

LETTER TO A BISHOP.

rate for twenty Years, to fecure the Whole. I cannot indeed fo far agree with our old Friend Hefiod as to think the Half better than the Whole, but, embracing the † English instead of the Greek Proverb, fit myself down contentedly, and eat my half Loaf in Quiet. But, to confefs the Truth, I find the Profits of both Preferments (for your Lordship fees I am a Pluralift) rather too fmall, to provide, in these hard Times, for the Neceffities of a growing Family, and have lately been obliged to eke out Matters by entering myself on my Friend H---w's Lift. As there is fomething curious in this Mr. H-, both with Regard to himfelf, and the Bufinefs he is engaged in, I fhall beg Leave to introduce him to your Lordship's Acquaintance, as I believe, during what I may call your Minority in the Church, no fuch Character or Occupation was in being.

You must know then, my Lord, that the ingenious Mr. H- has found out a new Method of being ferviceable to the Cergy and himself, by keeping a Kind of Ecclefiaftical Regifter Office, or, more properly speaking, Divinity-Shop, in the City, where Parfons are hired by the Day, Week, Month, &c. as Occafion requires. For this Purpose he keeps a regular alphabetical Lift of unemployed Divines, from the Age of threefcore and ten, to two and twenty, ready to be let out for certain ftipulated Sums, deducting a proper Premium for the Agent from every one of them. If any labouring Curate, Lecturer, Morning Preacher, &c. is too busy or too idle to perform his own Duty, he may immediately repair to the faid Office, and be fupplied with as much found and orthodox Divinity as he is able or willing to pay for. To this very useful Gentleman, I had myfelf, not long fince, Occafion to apply,

πλεον ήμισυ παντΘ.

Half a Loaf is better than no Bread.

being

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