He

Or beard Midlothian lions in their dens.
Thinks there's no difference between "fine frenzy '
And kennel-rabies. So conceives his neighbour
Moon-baying Silliness. Mountain in labour
Gave birth to him as he gives birth to yapping.
BON-GAULTIER's Turtle ne'er excelled at snapping
This small, tongue-giving tyke. A decent doggy
Comes next in Nervousness, a trifle foggy

As to his function, has a sort of notion,
Which in his honest breast excites commotion,

That he's a Wolff-hound, but might feel much merrier,
As, say, a (diplomatic) smart fox-terrier.
Simplicity, sweet puppy, most ingenuous
Of tykes, but just a trifle tame and tenuous,
Eyes Envy doubtfully; Envy, who truly

Should take first prize with ease, if treated duly.
But ah-there always is a "but," and prizes
To dogs as men, and of all sorts and sizes,
Come often as surprises. Though it true is
That every dog shall have his day, to few is
Master McGrath's supremacy permitted,
But still this Puppy-Show may not be pitied.
The Dog-Star's in the ascendant, the Canicular
Season is here. Which puppy in particular
Shall play political Sirius, to these rivals
Is quite a Sirius question. Some survivals
Must from among these youthful Dogs of War win,
The fittest, doubtless, if there's truth in DARWIN.

MR. CYRIL FLOWER was not a defaulter on the night of the Government defeat. He wrote to the Times to say that he came up to Town all the way from the Island of Lewis. When, in future, any loyal Liberal hurries to Westminster post-haste to assist his party, it will be said of him that he "Cometh up as a Flower." N.B.-This is not an advertisement for one of the best of Miss BROUGHTON's novels.

UNIMPEACHABLE.

THE recent crisis has naturally given rise to a great many rumours, for the perfect authenticity of which it has not always been possible to vouch. The following, however, which have been carefully sifted, may be taken quite confidently cum grano.

It is stated on good authority that Lord SALISBURY, for the purpose of insuring himself a working majority in the House of Commons, has stipulated that Mr. GLADSTONE's recent phalanx of "Abstainers" shall be all provided, from the Secret Service Fund, with sufficient means to enable them to pass the remainder of the Session at some of the cheaper watering-places, while the Irish party will have the option either of going up in a batch to the Upper House, or being permanently "named " by the SPEAKER.

It is now no longer a secret that Lord RANDOLPH CHURCHILL has carried his point, and that his objection to accepting off-hand the Leadership of the House of Commons has been overcome. Sir STAFFORD NORTHCOTE becomes Viceroy of India, and has consented to start to-morrow via Flushing.

It is understood that the PREMIER's refusal to go down to Balmoral and personally tender his resignation to Her Majesty hinged at the last moment on a simple question of the payment of his railway fare. Considering that, due to the pressing circumstances under which his journey was about to be undertaken, he had a right to a third class return ticket free of cost, and this being obstinately denied him by the Authorities at Euston Square, he, with some show of irritation, entrusted his mission, just as the train was starting, to an active Queen's Messenger, who happened to be lounging about the platform. Notwithstanding the protest of the Officials, this gentleman who, it appears, had grown familiar with the feat from successfully attempting it on nearly all the great Continental lines, adroitly swung himself under the guard's van and holding firmly to the axle bar, travelled thus suspended without a break as far as Perth. Though ultimately taken into custody through having bail refused

Tuesday Night.-Second Act in exciting Drama. A full House, and eager expectation. GLADSTONE entering at Twenty-five Minutes past Four, received tremendous ovation. If he'd been the victor instead of the vanquished, couldn't have been greater enthusiasm amongst his followers. Conservatives, a little taken aback by this demonstration, looked coldly on. Presently HICKS-BEACH came in, and they took their turn to cheer. JOSEPH GILLIS, entering still later, there was a movement among the Parnellites. Thought they were going to cheer him. But the impulse was resisted, and JOEY B. took his seat unconscious of the flutter he had created.

Everything seemed topsy-turvy. GLADSTONE cheered just after being routed, and never during five years of Ministry were there such jubilant faces on Treasury Bench. HARTINGTON positively smiling. HARCOURT breaking out from time to time in a low chuckle, DILKE and CHAMBERLAIN chatting and laughing as if they had private information of good joke.

Only GLADSTONE solemn and dignified. Rose before questions put, and stated that in consequence of the decision arrived at by House the same morning the Cabinet had forwarded "a dutiful communication to Her MAJESTY." Wild horses would not drag from GLADSTONE the nature of that communication. The time might_come when he would be at liberty to disclose it. It was not yet. House nevertheless cheered and counter-cheered as if it knew all about it. Cheerfully acceded to motion for adjournment, and Members gaily went off to enjoy their unexpected holiday.

Business done.-GLADSTONE darkly hints at Resignation. Friday Night.-Third and concluding Act. GLADSTONE makes clean breast of it. Unreservedly admits that the "dutiful communication" to the QUEEN contained his Resignation. House surprised beyond measure. Apparently the very last thing it thought of. What was more, the QUEEN had accepted the resignation, and sent for Lord SALISBURY.

Drove home with GLADSTONE after adjournment. Had a very flattering reception from the crowd. Really didn't think I was so widely known. Took opportunity of giving a little friendly advice

Bowling his Off Stump.box

Caught at the Wicket.

THE "BUDGET" STAKES.

WHERE was his Whip? On a horse such as this is,
Although-like his jock-he is "aged" and tired,
With pace of Bucephalus, nous of Ulysses,
He should have been first at the post-if desired.
Patience and dash,

With a touch of the lash,

And he ought to have gone to the front in a flash.

Where was his Whip? What "close things" he has ridden!
When was his nag known to fail at a pinch ?
Has he not done pretty nearly as bidden ?

Fairly wound-up, is he given to flinch?

Now an "old crock"

May the Favourite mock.

Who lost this race, then, the horse or the jock ?

Where was his Whip? 'Tis a horse that will stand it.
True it has temper, is given to bolt:

'Tisn't a mere stable-boy can command it,
But, with this rider, not apt to revolt.
WILLIAM, I think

That was a wink.

Things do appear in a bit of a kink.

Where was his Whip? Never lifted it fairly.

Lazily led, Flying Childers might fail.

Far harder races you've won, WILL, if barely;

Rather odd game at the last to turn tail.

Reads like a fable,

Raises a Babel.

What was the cause? Something wrong with the Stable?

Certainly seems all at sixes and sevens.

In and out running suspicion excites.

Might have been backed though this time, if at evens;
Not a try left in you? Oddest of plights!
Was it quite proper

To go for a cropper?

Or, do you mean it an ultimate stopper?
Stable has been a bit shaky; no wonder!
Stables that can't pull together all round
Court cruel luck, and are destined to blunder.
Been a bit chevied, too, WILL, I'll be bound.
Overworked, stale?
Yes, you look pale;
But surely 'tis not want of pluck makes you fail.
The Public, too-that has its rights, Master WILLY;
After all you can't leave it quite out of account.
He must not ride to lose, but peg on, willy-nilly,
Who, trusted as jockey, accepts a big mount.
Not mean to win ?

Humph! Cynics may grin,
But how about backers who've planked down their tin ?
Something behind? Why that clearly the case is!
Something before? That seems probable too!
Let's hope 'twill bear daylight. Those subsequent races
The Stable may win. Will it be, though, with you?
A Jockey so rare

Did our colours ne'er wear,

Punch hopes to the end you will ride fair and square!

SIR JOHN BENNETT, always up to the time of day, and occasionally a little too fast, wanted the Common Council to condole with France on the loss of VICTOR HUGO. "UGO!" exclaimed a Common Councillor in correctest French, "Oo's UGO? You go and be wound up!" So Sir JOHN BENNETT put his hands before his clock-face, joined them together, and, as the Council wouldn't hear him, struck.