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FAMILIAR LETTERS.

FAMILIAR LETTERS.

Tern, Nov. 24th, 1756.

The Rev. Mr. John Wesley.

Rev. Sir,

AS I look upon you as my fpiritual guide, and cannot doubt of your patience to hear, and your experience to answer a question, propofed by one of your people, I freely lay my cafe before you.

Since the first time I began to feel the love of God shed abroad in my foul, which was, I think, at feven years of age, I refolved to give myself up to him, and to the fervice of his church, if ever I was fit for it; but, the corruption which is in the world, and that which was in my heart, foon weakened, if not erafed thofe first characters, which grace had written upon it. However, I went through my studies, with a defign of going into orders; but afterwards, upon serious reflection, feeling I was unequal to so great a burden, and difgufted by the neceffity I fhould be under to fubfcribe the doctrine of predeftination, I yielded to the defire of my friends, who would have me to go into the army; but juft before I was quite engaged in a military employment, I met with fuch disappointments as occafioned my coming to England. Here I was called outwardly three times to go into orders; but upon praying to God, that if those calls were not from him, they might come to nothing, fomething always blafted the defigns of my friends; and in this, I have often admired the goodness of God, who prevented my rushing into that important employment, as

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the horfe into the battle. I never was more thankful for this favour, than fince I heard the gospel in its purity. Before I had been afraid, but then I trembled to meddle with holy things; and refolved to work out my falvation privately, without engaging in a way of life, which required fo much more grace and gifts, than I was confcious I poffeffed; yet, from time to time, I felt warm and ftrong defires, to caft myfelf and my inability on the Lord, if I fhould be called any more, knowing that he could help me, and fhew his ftrength in my weakness; and thefe defires were increased, by fome little fuccefs, which attended my exhortations and letters to my friends.

I think it neceffary to let you know, Sir, that my patron often defired me to take orders, and faid, he would foon help me to a living; to which I coldly anfwered, I was not fit, and that befides, I did not know how to get a title. The thing was in that state, when about fix weeks ago, a gentleman, I hardly knew, offered me a living, which in all probability, will be vacant foon; and a clergyman I never fpoke to, gave me of his own accord, the title of curate to one of his. livings. Now, Sir, the queftion, which I beg you to decide is, Whether I muft and can make use of that title to get into orders? For, with refpect to the living, were it vacant, I have no mind to it; because, I think, I could preach with more fruit in my native country, and in my own tongue.

I am in fufpence; on one fide, my heart tells me, I must try, and it tells me fo, whenever I feel any degree of the love of God and man; on the other, when I examine, whether I am fit for it, I fo plainly fee my want of gifts, and efpecially, of that foul of all the labours of a minifter,-love, continual, univerfal, flaming love; that my confidence disappears; I accufe myself of pride to dare to entertain the defire, of fupporting one day the ark of God, and conclude, that an extraordinary punishment will, fooner or later, overtake my rafhnefs. As I am in both of thefe frames fucceffively, I must own, Sir, I do not fee which of these two ways

before me, I can take with fafety; and I fhall gladly be ruled by you; because, I truft, God will direct you in giving me the advice, you think will beft conduce to his glory, which is the only thing I would have in view in this affair. I know how precious your time is, and defire no long anfwer,-perfift, or forbear, will fatisfy and influence, Reverend Sir, your unworthy fervant, I. F.

London, May 26th, 1757.
The Rev. Mr. John Wesley.
Rev. Sir,

IF I did not write to you before Mrs. Wefley had afked me, it was not, that I wanted a remembrancer within, but rather an encourager without. There is, generally, upon my heart fuch a fenfe of my unworthinefs, that I fometimes dare hardly open my mouth before a child of God; and I think it an unfpeakable honour to stand before one, who has recovered fomething of the image of God, or fincerely feeks after it. Is it poffible, that fuch a finful worm as I should have the privilege to converfe with one, whofe foul is fprinkled with the blood of my Lord! The thought amazes, confounds me, and fills my eyes with tears of humble joy. Judge, then, at what diftance I muft fee myself from you, if I am fo much below the least of your children; and whether a remembrancer within fuffices to make me prefume to write to you, whofe fhoes I am not worthy to bear.

I rejoice that you find every where an increase of praying fouls. I doubt not but the prayer of the righteous hath great power with God; yet I cannot believe, that it should hinder the fulfilling of Chrift's gracious promifes to his church. He muft, and certainly will come, at the time appointed; for he is not flack, as fome men count flacknefs; and although, he would have all to come to repentance, yet, he has not forgot to be true and juft. Only he will come with more mercy, and will increase the light, that fhall be

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